Resource You Should Care More About Inhibiting SI!

[[gbd8]]

This thread is something of a continuation of this thread but more specifically this post.

Some of you can relate to this, If you can then this info can probably help you.

I have had easy access to firearms for as long as I have been serious about dying. I have had the barrel in my mouth multiple times, but I have never overcome my own survival instinct. My failures led me to look for less intimidating, but much harder to obtain methods (such as inert gas asphyxiation or sodium nitrite poisoning). But I now believe that my firearm will be more than enough, and that, in short...

You should consider access to adequate tools to be just as important as your ability to suppress your SI

Inhibiting SI is a tricky thing, especially when compared to something as simple as acquiring some sturdy rope. So now is when I would recommend reading the post I linked at the top, specifically the part where op says

I also want to reiterate that ketamine and MDMA massively help to reduce any type of SI for any CTB method.

The point of this thread is really just to share this information.
I and many others have used alcohol as an almost primitive way of inhibiting SI. It may have been the deciding factor for some but it was never enough for me. That's what led me to buy MDMA and ketamine and to begin experimenting with their subjective effects. Now for my contribution.

I can confirm that the SI inhibiting effect of MDMA is massive and can be of use to anyone looking to CTB. (I took 130mg)
The SI inhibiting effect of ketamine was present but not as decisive as MDMA.

I'm confident my next attempt will be successful because of the research done by purebliss and I hope I can spread this information to others who are in my position.
The most difficult part of this process was, by far, buying the substances off the internet. So as my last contribution I'd like to help people understand all the hoops you must jump through. For reference I'm on windows 11.

-removed- is still a good guide for 80% of the process (creating and decrypting PGP keys with Kleopatra, configuring Tor browser, registering on and using DrugHub) but the payments options no longer work as advertised.
The process that worked for me was - purchase litecoin on coinbase --> set up a litecoin wallet and a monero wallet on the Cake Wallet mobile app --> transfer the litecoin to the litecoin wallet --> swap the litecoin for monero using the Cake Wallet app --> transfer the monero to separate monero wallet (I used monero gui wallet) now you can complete a payment on DrugHub.

I hope this is a valuable contribution!

 

[ruhyytey5o86]

Very helpful, I am assuming the MDMA was taken orally, was that the same for ketamine?

It seems that ketamine is very commonly done via IV (and maybe sublingual). I wonder if the method of administration has a big effect on the outcomes.

 

[[gbd8]]

I snorted my ketamine. It was pretty uncomfortable but psychonautwiki has that route listed as the highest bioavailability.
It seems like IV is usually done in clinical settings. If you are buying it off the internet then it will come in a crystal/powder form.

 

[purebliss]

Hey Hey! ^^

Purebliss here!

I am glad that my Thread replies regarding inhibition of SI found such resonance in the community<3
Spent a lot of time researching on the effects of psychedelics and other substances. Read countless studies and their results and there is so much more than just inhibiting SI to this.

So let's get started. Lots of writing again ^^

Spoiler: As an SI inhibitor

As I outlined in the thread reply the biggest crux to your suicide attempts is your amygdala.
Alcohol may have a very slight effect on the amygdala but more in the negative effect as in making you unable to read threatening gestures and social clues.

Ironically the chronic usage of alcohol can lead to the amygdala actually shrinking causing you to panic way more.
Alcohol is by far the Nr.1 worst drug to take. It attacks every single system of your body and has no tangible benefits to the risks.
That this literal neurotoxin is legal while important chemicals like LSD are not is a great indicator at how fucked we are as a society.
Here is the study to that: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7382982/

So with that out of the way:
MDMA is absolutely great as an SI inhibitor. That is for certain.
With Ketamine, it highly depends on the dosage. I found it more effective in its SI inhibiting effects for me than MDMA. I insufflated a 120mg Line and my mind was completely at peace. If I had not passed out because of combined 10 Flualprazolam Pills + Ketamine this would have absolutely been my last night.

That is one side of the medal.
Let's explore the other side.

Spoiler: Drugs to make your life worth living again

!! Important !!
If you are on SSRI's this is not an option and maybe even dangerous. Please always check for drug-drug interactions before taking any substances
!!

So. Now we go to the next area. The area that made me seek help. Made me go into a psychward and now into the dayclinic.
The area that granted me a new perspective on life.

Psychedelics

The biggest problem in depression is that you are locked in your thought processes. You are unable to break out of your own thought spiral, unable to think about anything but death.
There are people that have very real physical illnesses that cause their depression and suicidal ideation, and I am not sure how much this can help for those.
This post is more for people that, just like me, do not understand why they have to suffer so much mentally when their life is quite fine in general.

That is where psychedelics come into play. LSD, Psylocibin, 5-MeO-DMT, N-DMT and so forth.
The keyword here is neuroplasticity.
I will oversimplify this topic for the sake of brevity as It's much too complex to completely write it out.

Simply said: It is your brains' capability to reorganize itself, constructing new connections and dissolving old ones.
This can also be in a physical sense, e. G You walk with your head down but also in a psychological sense e. G only seeing the negatives. Your brain soon solidifies those "paths" and makes them a permanent habit.
The difficulty is in breaking those habits and developing pathways to new and healthier paths. You would have to "just do it" to cause that. Just walk straight or try to think of different thoughts than just the negative ones.
Now, this sounds like one of those stupid "just be happy" comments. And you are right in that! I was just as unable to "just do it".

So what do we do now? Substances!
We are not completely helpless against our own brain. We can force and trick it into breaking up channels and constructing entirely new ones without doing jack for it
Substances can break your old thinking processes and create new ones that you would have never ever thought of by yourself.
They gives you answers to questions you never asked.

So, are substances a cure-all now? Heck nah!
You can't just fuck yourself up over several days and hope it all magically fixes itself. There is a great quote for this: "If you get the message, hang up the phone"
If you understand what the trip wants to show you then actively change your life!

Psychedelics give you a way to help yourself. A way to get up again and from there try to build yourself up again.
My ex-suicide partners @dewdfish and @absolute failure had a similar revelation. We got high all together trying to find meaning in all the pain.
And we sure did! We all found our path back to a new and better life.

I for sure am not "cured" in any way, but I am able to finally work on myself ^^
Shaking god's hand can give you so much in life. I also understand to some degree now what the prophets saw back then. They definitely had the finest plants in their garden xD

Another anecdotal evidence is my little brother. He fought with depression for years.
Last year he went down 5 hours to Thuringia and got completely busted on 600ug LSD and 500mg MDMA.
He has changed massively. He managed to completely cure himself. I have never seen him this changed before.

So yeah. The studies are going full on steam right now with a very promising outlook.
The most notable study is currently undergoing in Berlin. Severely depressed Subjects where every other therapy has failed have been given 5-MeO-DMT and the result of that was that 80% of them felt vastly better afterward expressing more joy. It also gave those subjects new outlooks on their life.


So before you decide to die, why not give it a try? Just blast your brain away with LSD
You can still die afterward after all :>

It took multiple attempts for me to be fully ready to explore alternatives. But one trip might be enough for ya! Just try it, you have nothing to lose ^^

The thingie with the darknet really is not that difficult to be honest with ya ^^
To get coins:
1. Get the phantom app from the playstore and create an account
2. Buy bitcoin there
3. Visit https://trocador.app/ and enter the monero wallet from DrugHub there and how much monero you want to recieve
4. Send the bitcoin to the address provided
5. Profit!

To get to DH
1. Go to https://tor.taxi
2. Go to the link that says DH. I guess you can guess what it is written out there ;)
3. Create account on DH. You need to get Kleopatra for this: https://apps.kde.org/de/kleopatra/
4. Create a key for yourself. Do not put a real E-Mail in that key on creation
5. Enter public key in DH
6. Now you can login easily by decrypting the login message ^^

Happy tripping fellas!

Wish you all a good and happy life <3
I found my pure bliss now. Even got a girlfriend now that I met in the dayclinic where I don't feel like shit next to :> She is such an angel.
Substances are one hell of a way to get your ass back up. ^^

Will probably soon write a post in the Recovery section ^~^
But for now I am just glad that I can provide materials in both directions.

If there are any questions just shoot them away :>

---

Ah, another little addendum.
MDMA is actively being used in treatment of PTSD :>
It also helps for victims of physical and sexual abuse.

If you have suffered because of physical, sexual abuse you might want to try a roll on molly and confront those usually traumatizing memories again.
With a few sessions you might be able to eradicate those fears entirely. Please have a friend as a trip sitter for this please as it can be quite unpredictable what you feel, and you might have an extremely overwhelming desire to talk to someone about what you are experiencing.
This is a normal effect of empathogens and very much desirable for this type of treatment. You just don't want to start running outside and talk to random strangers suddenly ;)

---

Very helpful, I am assuming the MDMA was taken orally, was that the same for ketamine?

It seems that ketamine is very commonly done via IV (and maybe sublingual). I wonder if the method of administration has a big effect on the outcomes.

Ketamine should be snorted.

To help with the uncomfortable taste you can lick on a lollypop as that neutralizes the taste of the backdrip from the ketamine. Yep... some of it will slowly go down your throat.
To help with the uncomfortable sensation of snorting a substance you can use a seasalt nasal spray beforehand. When you finished tripping it is also advisable to clean your nostrils with a nasal shower. Harm reduction is important fellas!