Look into DMT, I just wrote a post on the thread titled afterlife about it. Having experienced it and done extensive research on it, basically it shoots your body into an entirely alternate dimension than this one and it oddly feels like "going home" and when you come back you feel like this place is alein. I am non religious and not even really spiritual but this experience is nothing to sell short, I am not saying anything is certain but DMT does release in large amounts from multiple organs in the body upon death and I think this surely best explains and hints at the POSSIBILITY of a beautiful afterlife. All of this is too complex for me to believe we live for this tiny portion on the cosmic scale and die and boom nothingness for eternity. Consciousness is the most important part of the universe, its needed for the universe to actually be percieved into existing and to be experienced, and from subatomic levels to the most outter edges of the known universe, this universe is fucking unbelievably complex and I personally think its constantly evolving and infinite. I like to believe that if you were dealt a fucking bullshit hand in this life, which certainly can happen, then some of your energy may be directed to other means of existing and having an infinite number of chances. If you truly hate life on every level I'm sorry, youve been fucked, because there are things in life that ANYONE would enjoy. I've been on both ends of the spectrum of experience, and while I have some of the deepest hatred burning within me for certain things, I tend to want to exist forever in one way or another.. maybe that is selfish of me. I love the stars and nature I just fucking hate the majority of humanity, they're the reason I was lead to the dead end I'm in now, sure some of it was my fault, but honestly without certain people in my life I'd never be in this specific position. Anyways, those are just thoughts and theories, any ones are as good as mine, it seems were not really supposed to know the answers to these deep questions so life just remains a mystery, maybe knowing would spoil it.