Venting Yet another day

[release_me]

Sorry good people of this forum for taking up time and server space. This is where I am most safe and least judged.
After spending a lot of money and hours, I managed to obtain a coveted professional certification, only to find out it actually isn't worth much or would give me the career break am looking for.
Recovering from that costly disappointment, Im again reminded by my lovely wife that I am good for nothing and hardly a man. All this because I couldn't make more or atleast close to what her friends and family make. She can't live the life of her dreams because I just can't make enough money. It's not her fault. She and her family thought my education would make millions, boy what a poor judgement. My wife rejected many proposals from wealthy, good looking suitors just to settle for me, what an irony. Had she said yes to one of them, she wouldn't be in tears and shame today.
She has to think twice thrice before even spending a few bucks just to be sure to not run out of money.
Her friends and family are uber rich and go on vacations, dress classy, shop, eat out without care, which makes her feel small, embarrassed and insecure.
All this and rightfully so turns into anger which she lashes out on me as I cannot just earn as much. I have a huge mortgage too.
Everytime they get a raise or a promotion or a higher paying job, which happens quite frequently because they're hard working, talented and smart, i will be sure to get from my wife and earful. Some people are just built for failure and disappointment, its just who they are.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Just another reason I'm glad I never got married. If I had a wife who was bitching at me all the time for not making enough money, I'd strangle the bitch.

Also the situation you're in isn't even your fault either so she should understand that. You worked hard to earn that certification, believing it would benefit both of you and it didn't. That isn't on you. And you don't need to be sorry for posting here because that is what Sasu is for.

 

[bodys_prisoner]

Broski, without specifying what education you got and whether you managed to get a job afterward, the topic feels incomplete.

 

[release_me]

Just another reason I'm glad I never got married. If I had a wife who was bitching at me all the time for not making enough money, I'd strangle the bitch.

Also the situation you're in isn't even your fault either so she should understand that. You worked hard to earn that certification, believing it would benefit both of you and it didn't. That isn't on you. And you don't need to be sorry for posting here because that is what Sasu is for.

Thank you my friend

Broski, without specifying what education you got and whether you managed to get a job afterward, the topic feels incomplete.

Sorry, I have a masters degree in engineering and I managed to get a job right after. Low paying job then and now.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'm a female. When I was married, I made more than double what my husband made and I was happy he was in the profession he always dreamed of. Keeping up with the Jone's is something I never aspired to. Does she even work to contribute to this lavish lifestyle she expects? It's her problem she feels embarrassed, not yours. It's sad she doesn't realize what matters most in life like love, kindness, charity, health ect. Material wealth means nothing and doesn't determine anyones worth. I've never read an obituary that bragged on how rich the person was.

 

[release_me]

I'm a female. When I was married, I made more than double what my husband made and I was happy he was in the profession he always dreamed of. Keeping up with the Jone's is something I never aspired to. Does she even work to contribute to this lavish lifestyle she expects? It's her problem she feels embarrassed, not yours. It's sad she doesn't realize what matters most in life like love, kindness, charity, health ect. Material wealth means nothing and doesn't determine anyones worth. I've never read an obituary that bragged on how rich the person was.

Hey Sister, thank you for your kindness. She does work and earns as much as I do which is why she gets annoyed at my earning all the more - that I as a man with my education should be earning much more.
Also she doesn't want a lavish lifestyle, just that enough funds should be available to spend/splurge once in a while, go on a nice trip someday, wear nice clothes and shoes once in a while.... She just wants to secure the future with the rising inflation and costs... Live with head held high among her rich family and friends.... None of which I could provide...
It is just not possible for me to progress and even when I try and take action it ends up in failure. That am only worth this much and this is my capacity or ability is what she isn't able to reconcile with. She thinks am being lazy and don't put efforts, which is not the case.
Me CTB would be the best, she wouldn't have to "hope" for a better tomorrow and face her reality ... Human beings always move on...

 

[bodys_prisoner]

Damn it, I just read your posts from '23, and I really feel for you. But I'm afraid you really are responsible for the decisions you've made in life. You chose that woman yourself and married her, and now you're responsible for her. You want to help your sick parents, and that is the right thing to do.

If you keep:

1. Loving your wife, giving her attention, and buying her gifts within your budget.
2. Trying to move up in your career (ask at your workplace if that's possible, find people on LinkedIn, or create a thread on Reddit).
3. Helping your parents.

Then, for me and for any other reasonable person looking at your situation, there would be no doubt that you're doing the right thing. Most importantly, you yourself should understand that you're doing everything you possibly can, and that you can't do the impossible.

Even if your wife keeps criticizing you (although she seems to be the only person criticizing you), just listen to her calmly, reply in a calm tone by explaining what you're doing to improve your situation, ask her whether she knows a better way to handle it, and then move on.

At least you'll be sure that you're doing everything right, even if other people don't see it.

 

[release_me]

Damn it, I just read your posts from '23, and I really feel for you. But I'm afraid you really are responsible for the decisions you've made in life. You chose that woman yourself and married her, and now you're responsible for her. You want to help your sick parents, and that is the right thing to do.

If you keep:

1. Loving your wife, giving her attention, and buying her gifts within your budget.
2. Trying to move up in your career (ask at your workplace if that's possible, find people on LinkedIn, or create a thread on Reddit).
3. Helping your parents.

Then, for me and for any other reasonable person looking at your situation, there would be no doubt that you're doing the right thing. Most importantly, you yourself should understand that you're doing everything you possibly can, and that you can't do the impossible.

Even if your wife keeps criticizing you (although she seems to be the only person criticizing you), just listen to her calmly, reply in a calm tone by explaining what you're doing to improve your situation, ask her whether she knows a better way to handle it, and then move on.

At least you'll be sure that you're doing everything right, even if other people don't see it.

Thank you so much for taking time and interest in my situation even going back to 2023 to get the context. This is the most positive advise and encouragement I've heard in a while... I want to do the right thing, but most times I can't, I just fail and give up.