Yes, I'm still here and very pissed off about it

[sadsamantha]

Ok I'm SUPER pissed... at my own body... for not being able to fucking die! Sunday night, I took 2000mg of Adderall at once the ONLY drug that I have possession of that the internet has information on of how much it takes to kill you. Several articles state that a lethal dosage for someone my size is about 1200mg and 1500mg. Again, just like last week's attempt with sleeping pills, I felt like shit for A DAY and now I'm feel PERFECTLY fine! Wtf???? Oh and I have no Adderall for the next month. I've never gone more than a week without in almost 10 years, and that week was absolutely HELL. If I live even another month, I'm doomed. At worst will be going back to jail, at best will be homeless because I have no money. I guess my ONLY option truly is hanging but I'm starting to wonder if that will even work, since NOTHING seems to kill.

 

[orca87]

Ok I'm SUPER pissed... at my own body... for not being able to fucking die! Sunday night, I took 2000mg of Adderall at once the ONLY drug that I have possession of that the internet has information on of how much it takes to kill you. Several articles state that a lethal dosage for someone my size is about 1200mg and 1500mg. Again, just like last week's attempt with sleeping pills, I felt like shit for A DAY and now I'm feel PERFECTLY fine! Wtf???? Oh and I have no Adderall for the next month. I've never gone more than a week without in almost 10 years, and that week was absolutely HELL. If I live even another month, I'm doomed. At worst will be going back to jail, at best will be homeless because I have no money. I guess my ONLY option truly is hanging but I'm starting to wonder if that will even work, since NOTHING seems to kill.

It's very, very hard to ctb from prescription meds. They're becoming "safer and safer" every year. Sorry that you had to go through this

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a horrible situation to be trapped in, I certainly hate how it's so difficult to finally exit this world, all those who wish to be gone should just be able to exit in peace without struggle. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you desperately search for as it's true that existing really can be torture.

 

[sadsamantha]

I really did think I was dying on Sunday night. It was one of the best feelings in the world. (Obviously, it was uncomfortable because my chest was pounding like crazy, I was shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn't sit up) but it wasn't unbearably painful like I hanging is and I was in my favorite place, laying in my bed. I thought I was FINALLY getting my wish. But then I woke up Monday morning, but I was still having those symptoms, so I thought maybe it could still happen. But then as the day went on, the symptoms slowly started to disappear, and today, they are completely gone. I just don't understand. I've been crying all day. I didn't really think I could bring myself to ever get back on here. I feel like such a failure because I can't even end myself, no matter how bad I want to. I would not consumed all my Adderall if I didn't think with almost absolute certainty that it would kill me.

 

[TapeMachine]

I just went through adderall withdrawals about a week ago. It wasn't fun, but I've experienced way worse.

I've only been taking my meds for about a year (got a late adhd diagnosis at age 37 ), so I can't attest to what your 10 year habit will feel like. For reference, I take 60mg a day.

This is how my withdrawals went the past week:
*I pretty much spent the whole time sleeping, but off and on, waking up at random times.
*I've had little motivation to do much, no surprise there (my executive dysfunction can be brutal.)

I'm on day 8 w/o meds, and my energy has started increasing. I feel pretty decent, though I'm ready for my med refill this weekend, ngl.

Anyway. I just wanted to offer you some support and say that I'm sorry your attempt didn't go as planned. I know how disappointing and imprisoned that can make one feel. I'm around if you need to vent your frustrations.

 

[vaguebluur]

Ok I'm SUPER pissed... at my own body... for not being able to fucking die! Sunday night, I took 2000mg of Adderall at once the ONLY drug that I have possession of that the internet has information on of how much it takes to kill you. Several articles state that a lethal dosage for someone my size is about 1200mg and 1500mg. Again, just like last week's attempt with sleeping pills, I felt like shit for A DAY and now I'm feel PERFECTLY fine! Wtf???? Oh and I have no Adderall for the next month. I've never gone more than a week without in almost 10 years, and that week was absolutely HELL. If I live even another month, I'm doomed. At worst will be going back to jail, at best will be homeless because I have no money. I guess my ONLY option truly is hanging but I'm starting to wonder if that will even work, since NOTHING seems to kill.

Adderall would never work my friend , without specific pharmacological knowledge death by overdose is very hard. It took me 12 overdoses till I found the right drugs to stop my heart. I wish you well bro.