Discussion WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE IF YOU HAD SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU

[figurehead]

Yea, I've got my family and my dogs. When I first met my husband, I showed him my scars and tried to d=scare him off. It didn't work and here we are more than 23 years later. During this time I had some serious crises and he had to learn to deal with that. I was deeply unhappy all I could do was plan suicide, my favourite obsession. When it strikes I'm totally defeated

 

[venomousSSërpent74]

I've had my share of love in Life and well honestly it doesn't change a thing i'd still want to die and it will just leave more room for concerned people in my life it's also normally a trigger once they leave but yes in a way i'd still want to be alive for them but in the end i'm still going to want to kill myself and they'll just be like get help and you shouldn't do this bla bla the world will still spin and keep going people will still live and move on with their lives it wouldn't matter one bit if i was to be alive or not.

I honestly don't know. I'm fortunate enough to have parents who love me but, especially when it comes to my mother, she expresses love in ways that irritate and sometimes hurt me far more than it helps. At the times when I want to CTB the most, they are hardly on my mind. I think that if I had someone who loved me and whom I love back in equal measure, that may just be enough to keep me around for a bit longer, though I have not the slightest inkling of what that's like, so I don't know.

I feel my parents do the same thing and they get upset when I call them out on it and honestly love isn't always worth it leaves more room for pain and in my case getting attached and obssessed along with a range of other issues which than lead to a trigger.

 

[that_guy2611]

hell yeah but only if i loved them back

 

[shekindabadtho…]

not really, the way I want to be loved would be damn near impossible for a human to do for me to reconsider

 

[jessisme]

There is way, way, WAY more to life than love. The circumstances of my life in the future will be horrific and love cannot and will not change that. Love itself is imperfect and the people who love are imperfect people. You just can't rely on love to always be there or if it is there to be healthy and in everyone's best interest. People put too much stock in love, I believe. It's better to be self sustaining and happy on one's own.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I have this (yes, I am BEYOND lucky), but my depression has determined it isn't enough to make me want to stay.

 

[Tobacco]

It would make life so much more tolerable. But it has to be real love and I'm convinced that is rare on this earth.

Actually, now I know that it wouldn't fix everything but it's one of the things that I want the most.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

My wife says she loves me but, she cheated on me. I have been trying to reconcile. And she seems sincere but, every time she touches me or says anything nice to me, I don't believe her. She was the first person in my life that I let in. I can't bring myself to do that again. Love is just another avenue of suffering and torture. All it does is open a person up to be tortured by another. I've been tortured enough thank you.

 

[reallysleepy]

I feel loved by my family, friends and partners but I still really want to die. I don't love my self at all and the world seems too hostile to endure, so the love of others is not enough.

 

[skies]

i feel bad that i want to leave while i have a s/o, it'd break her if i died but its fucking torture staying alive

 

[flower_g1rl]

i dont think i want to be loved as i am, i would like to be someone else, somewhere else. its impossible but being dead is an option

 

[Seered Doom]

I have partner that loves me, yet I still want to CTB, even if they don't approve

 

[Lifeis_Jouissance70]

I dont think I can be loved by anyone theres no hope for that and I already understand theres no way to love anyone if I cant have self love. I prefer to ctb soon, and my ctb desire only come out in the night so its obviously gonna be at night, I still want to ctb during the day its just worse at night.

 

[leloyon]

No. I think it might make me feel a little better about my circumstances, and if they were someone who had a property I could live in with them, and were the "breadwinner" or "provider", then a lot of the things that make my current situation so dismal would likely be gone. That being said, I've accepted that I'm never going to truly be happy. Every action I take just seems like I'm killing time until my suicide. I don't think anything could truly change my mind, only delay it.
I inherently hate this current life I've been born into, the things I hate the most cannot be changed at all.
Anyway, this is all a pipe dream in any case, I know there's no one that would ever love me. I imagine that's a good thing, for any hypothetical person who could have. It's more likely I would just drag them down with me rather than me being "fixed" or "saved". I read a quote "only the worthy are saved". It's bullshit, and somehow that's even worse, knowing that plenty of people who are unworthy of being saved will still get the chance to live happily ever after, knowing I can't be saved. The only light at the end of the tunnel is the train speeding towards me.

 

[iloveloving]

Absolutely. All I ever wanted is to be truly loved by one.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Only if that person is someone I also love back.

 

[EmptyEater]

I already do. Living is exhausting and I can't do basic things that come intuitively to others. I'm useless and can't hold down a job or be part of a team without eventually being hated.

 

[KudzuTrailblazer]

Just curious. Who would want to live if you had someone who accepted and loved you for who you are? I, for one, would.

I have a partner who loves me and I love them, but I dunno. It's kinda weird since I still continue to have these feelings of wanting to be dead.

 

[SteamaHorns]

A lot of people in my life love and care about me, but I don't trust any of them to continue doing so after confronting the real side of me. The very few people of whom I've tried actually opening up to seemed to either ignore and somehow forget about what I had revealed or had just flat out didn't understand me, which would progress into them arrogantly asserting faulty points about me. I wish these people no longer loved me, so that I wouldn't have to worry about them being hurt if they were to ever find out that I had taken my own life.

 

[banger12]

If I thought I was worth loving and deserved love then maybe. But tbh there are no assurances that they'd stay in the end.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, love means nothing to me and I'd be the exact same regardless of whether I'm loved or not

 

[L'absent]

I loved only one person and now he left me. I will never love anyone again, for me it all ends here.

 

[Parnate]

Don't know, I hate myself so much. I think I am damaged beyond repair.

 

[jujujabebe]

This may sound ungrateful, but I have a lot of people who love me. My family loves me, and so does my boyfriend of 6 and a half years.

I feel like they're keeping me chained to this planet. Particularly my family. I can't die on them. They've had to deal with too much death already.

So I try to cope by hurting myself instead, which hurts my boyfriend because he has to witness my self mutilating behaviors, which sometimes put me in the hospital.

 

[dimgobaith]

No, I need to die to save those that do

 

[11April]

Not someone, but one specific person. In that case, I will live, no matter what else. But that will never happen.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No.
I just want to cease existing forever.
Nothing interests me anymore.
Not love, not money, nothing.

I agree I only want to cease existing forever.

I don't care about romantic love or anything.

I don't care about getting a romantic partner . I want to avoid that like the plague.

Nothing matters to me except avoiding
unbearable pain, avoiding suffering problems pain and suicide asap reaching non-existence asap.

Non-existence forever is the most beautiful thing by a trillion times

Several people in this thread said no to the romantic relationship/ romantic love .

To me that shows that wanting a romantic partner or love is not objective fact as they continuously tell us and show in the movies

Nothing matters

Another one that they say is in the genes Is wanting children. Imo It's not. to me for me to have or wanting children is something unfathomable terrible.

As a male chimpanzee I don't want children glad I never had any what for?

And that birth rates are declining rapidly in many countries shows this is not an instinct like being thirsty for water or hunger for food.

These 2 go together. U fall in love then have children and u are trapped in life suffering more and also create more slaves

 

[kunikuzushi]

No. I've had people love me. The problem is life itself. Even if I had an amazing happy life, the fact that it's all meaningless and can be destroyed instantly by disease, loss, etc disturbs me and makes me sure I want to die asap

 

[redkitsune98]

The only part of my life I ever wanted to live a long happy life was when I had my precious Bruno with me