Discussion Would you think it's weird if a random person approached you and wanted to get to know you?

[Patat]

Just like "Hey, you seem really nice and i wanted to get to know you, would it be alright if we talked for a bit?"

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Of course I would think it was weird. It would be even weirder if this person was an attractive woman.

 

[soulkitty]

People are scaryy

 

[Lady Laudanum]

Whether I think it's weird would depend on the situation. If it's a stranger at a networking event, perfectly normal. If it's someone at the bar, they're likely looking to hook up but it wouldn't necessarily raise alarm bells. If it's when I'm at the mall shopping and minding my own business, I would definitely be weirded out.

 

[eatantz]

I have so much trust in humanity i wouldn't find this creepy unless they were holding a weapon or something

 

[innominesatanas44]

Always assume its a ruse and disengage

 

[Forever Sleep]

How can they seem really nice if you haven't spoken to them at all? Maybe you've witnessed them being nice to someone else? Or more likely- you like the look of them I imagine. But yeah- it depends on the circumstances. I've struck up conversations with people on buses and coaches a lot but- more casual than- 'I want to get to know you.' How do you know at the start? You don't know anything about them! Better to talk about the weather or something. 'You seem like a nice person and I'd like to get to know you' sounds more like a chat up line to me. Depends if you want to be chatted up I suppose. Personally, I don't really find compliments about my character all that genuine until someone does actually know me.

 

[lovedread]

No but im naive, id probably be flattered

 

[surroundedbydemons]

If I were walking down the street in a ghetto neighborhood, I would not even let the other person close the distance.
If it is a networking event, it would not be weird at all (as Lady Laudanum said)

It always depends on the environment.

 

[iloverachel]

I would think they probably have ulterior motives. No one ever wants to get to know a worthless piece of trash loser like me

 

[Meteora]

I m generally open to that. When I was younger (in my 20ies) it happend a lot that I sat on a bench in the city and homeless peole came to talk to me. Was not always so pleasant because I could not set boundaries and just walk away when I had enough. In the meantime it is a bit better, if someone bothers me with what he's saying or talks without asking me anything or giving me space to talk, I just leave.

What is strange with me, its easier to talk to strangers than to friends or people I have some kind of relationship with.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I do find it weird if somebody tried to get to know me like that. I don't trust anybody at all. They must have a hidden, sinister agenda under their sleeves

 

[Meteora]

Yes, I do find it weird if somebody tried to get to know me like that. I don't trust anybody at all. They must have a hidden, sinister agenda under their sleeves

They do. I just never noticed it.
On the other hand, strangers can do me less harm than so called loved ones or close people.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

"A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one"

 

[Ironweed]

Just like "Hey, you seem really nice and i wanted to get to know you, would it be alright if we talked for a bit?"

My first thought would be, "And what religious cult are you recruiting for?"

 

[Alltheywanted]

Not at all, in most cases I'd be glad if sb approached me.

 

[Meteora]

My first thought would be, "And what religious cult are you recruiting for?"

There are lot of such people in my city, from scientology to Jehova's witnesses..... but everybody knows that and takes it as an opportunity to be rude if they try to talk to you :)

 

[voc_89]

It has happened to me a few times. I often disengage or fake having no social skills. For most of my life I've just wanted to be left alone. In my mid-30s I am somewhat close to that now (often I would not get a call or message for weeks on end).

 

[derpyderpins]

The world has changed. Being in grad school in the mid 2010s I'd frequently go out to a bar and just end up chatting with the guy sitting next to me and being buddies for the night. I think people are getting more guarded by the day.

 

[AprilsOrangeSpring]

This has happened to me a few times, and I've done it a few times too. It really depends on the situation.

Things I wouldn't do: Approach someone while they are with friends/doing work/ on a phone call. Just generally don't approach busy people. Also, definitely don't approach anyone that looks significantly younger, obviously. Anyone that looks distressed/ in a bad state probably would want to be left alone. Or if you approach them then probably ask if they're okay and need help, not ask to be friends. Also, and this one isn't as straightforward (especially for someone like me with no awareness to social cues), just try to read the room. Don't say anything controversial or inappropriate, unless you are confident that person is okay with it. Also, I find too many compliments (or very dramatic compliments) tend to creep people out.

Also, most people would definitely find it weird, but there's a few that won't. It's not always your fault. I've made some good friends this way, but I've also been rejected and humiliated multiple times bc of it. I've found it's made me a lot more confident in social situations though. I wouldn't recommend doing this if you're already feeling bad that day, it has a good chance of making you feel worse..

 

[acephale]

Yeah, it is weird.

 

[jar-baby]

Depends on the environment. I'd have people do that when I used to sit by my college's lawns and I didn't think it was weird. I liked it, tbh.

Don't say anything controversial or inappropriate, unless you are confident that person is okay with it. Also, I find too many compliments (or very dramatic compliments) tend to creep people out

To add to this, also don't overshare. That can discomfort people.

 

[AnonThinker]

Just like "Hey, you seem really nice and i wanted to get to know you, would it be alright if we talked for a bit?"

If it was at the pub, it would be weird for me (people don't usually talk to me), but not weird in general. If I'm walking down the street or some public place that isn't social, it would be weird and creepy.

Also, how do they know you're nice? You shouldn't assume things about people you don't know.

 

[AprilsOrangeSpring]

Also, how do they know you're nice? You shouldn't assume things about people you don't know.

100%, but some of us are extremely naive (me) and just want to have a little faith in humanity (bad idea)

 

[AnonThinker]

100%, but some of us are extremely naive (me) and just want to have a little faith in humanity (bad idea)

I get that there are people who want to believe the best. I have done that as well. (dated a complete walking red flags everywhere for 3 months) However, I've also learned that when people (opposite sex) approach me in a social setting such as a pub, they're probably looking to hook up and that's it. They might even ask for your phone number to make it look good, but then you never hear from them.

I've met some lovely people at the pub as well. Though usually other women. I have a few male friends I've met at the pub, but I friend-zoned them. But make no mistake, the original interaction from them wasn't just to make friends. Some of the other men are just regulars like me, and we chat only at the pub. No phone numbers exchanged etc. I know they have girlfriends/wives or I've met the girlfriend/wife. So I'm not saying all men.

These days you also have to be careful online. I started chatting on irc well over 20yrs ago, so I'm a little bit wise. But there are still people who will take advantage of your good nature. The other side is, you might meet lovely people online. I'm on a discord where I've never met any of the people, but they're all lovely and ask how I am, or how I'm feeling when I say I've been sick. They don't mind that I disappear for a few days, they'll still check in to see if I'm ok.

 

[slightoverlooked]

no, not weird. rather than looking at this with distrust, I think it's better to have an open heart and take it as a compliment. of course, it also depends on the situation and in what setting someone asked. If the first convo is shit and you feel a general distrust then u can always leave and never talk to them again. Normally our gut feeling can give us a good feeling if ur vibing with them or not.
some extroverted ppl are just forward like that, especially in social settings like school, uni and parties.

 

[psp3000]

I am an open minded person so no, but also it depends on the circumstance/context

in public I would be a bit weirded out
but I like random and spontaneous events when it comes to social stuff so I would totally be interested in trying to find out if there's any ulterior motives or not

although it's dangerous to trust strangers on the street these days even if it's just a stranger from your small town



online I wouldn't be weirded out but I would definitely have a guard up or either do my own private investigating because I have been approached by many strange people online (I do not know why I attract them, it is probably because I am open minded and try not to assume the worst but now that many bad things have happened I wait for them to do worst or bring up something that I am uncomfortable with or don't agree with) who I assumed were normal by my personal definition of it
although I am very open minded and like to give everyone a chance and meet all different kinds of people wether if they are weird in the good way or weird in the bad way

I think it will be the death of me because I am too curious

(I think even if they were from The Church of Scientology or Jehovah's Witnesses I'd entertain them as well)

 

[LaVieEnRose]

De gustibus non est disputandum

 

[InAgony]

No, I wouldn't think it weird.

 

[thenamingofcats]

It's weird. Not the intention, that's fine, but the fact that this is so socially strange makes it suspect. Better to protect yourself and assume something is up. There are lots of other ways to make friends where your safety isn't at risk and you don't have to do mental gymnastics to figure out if it is or not.

I can't tell if someone said this to you or you're considering trying it but if it's the latter, people respond better if you start up a conversation. That way the other person can get the hint you're interested and it's less intense.