Discussion Would you rather be found or just go ‘missing’?

[BPDbitch]

This is probably already a thread but I couldn't find a recent one sorry!

What's everyone's opinion? Would you rather be found after catching the bus, or just mysteriously vanish into the night?

I'm torn on whether to do it somewhere near my flat (could still take a while to be found but they probably would eventually), or buy a one way to another country and go Jane Doe. Both have pros and cons for me, pretty equally so it could go either way in the end.

What do you guys think/would do personally?

 

[WhyIsLife56]

It would be nice to vanish actually.. :)

 

[realjunes]

This is probably already a thread but I couldn't find a recent one sorry!

What's everyone's opinion? Would you rather be found after catching the bus, or just mysteriously vanishing into the night?

I'm torn on whether to do it somewhere near my flat (could still take a while to be found but they probably would eventually), or buy a one way to another country and go Jane doe. Both have pros and cons for me, pretty equally so it could go either way in the end.

What do you guys think/would do personally?

Oh, my friend...since I am alone and don't have to concern myself with that, you provoke the romantic view in me, I would definitely, if at all feasible, simply "disappear, and resurrect in another country as J. Doe. and start anew. Thanks for asking.

 

[R_N]

I prefer being found but not by family members. That is why I am going to leave a note including where am I "hanging" so relatives don't go there first.

 

[BPDbitch]

Oh, my friend...since I am alone and don't have to concern myself with that, you provoke the romantic view in me, I would definitely, if at all feasible, simply "disappear, and resurrect in another country as J. Doe. and start anew. Thanks for asking.

I think disappearing is the best option. But then, the 2-3 people I'd actually feel bad about leaving may never get closure. Would I rather them knowing I punched my own ticket, or thinking that I'd been abducted into human trafficking? It's a lot to think about.

 

[forever21]

For the sake of my family, being found.
But I am afraid about people in my home town finding out. My previous classmates from school and uni, professors, teachers. I feel uncomfortable with the thought people knowing about me doing ctb. I fear being seen as a failure. Although I will be dead, so should I even care?

 

[BPDbitch]

For the sake of my family, being found.
But I am afraid about people in my home town finding out. My previous classmates from school and uni, professors, teachers. I feel uncomfortable with the thought people knowing about me doing ctb. I fear being seen as a failure. Although I will be dead, so should I even care?

I get you, like I'd want my parents to at least get a bit of closure. But otherwise I'd also feel a bit uncomfortable with people knowing even though, like you said, we'll be dead and not around to see it.

 

[verminoid]

i would rather vanish. in a lot of ways, it feels like i'm already disappearing from the memories of the people around me anyway. no point in troubling them further by forcing them to witness my corpse.

 

[Xena87]

Oh how I would love to "vanish". Is the only way to die, I wish to die by fire or water. Only then will our spirit release from our body and we shall leave no remains. Beautiful!

 

[Jean4]

100 percent found. Because that would mean I had someone in my life to find me. Part of my reason for wanting to CTB.

 

[waterbottleman]

I don't really care, I'm indifferent as long as it isn't my family who finds my body.

 

[Skyview]

So happy you starting this thread , vanishing is part of my plan to ctb as I don't wish my body to be found .Studying maps to find the right location , somewhere where I can view the ocean would be perfect yet I cannot find an area which is not populated so , into the woods or mountains it shall be . Hopefully it will be next century before someone finds my bones though I'm sure the coyotes or something else may destroy them , on the plus side , my body may be a meal for whatever creature and all that will be left of me will be a pile of shit ...yay , fertilizer ! So it's all good !

 

[realjunes]

So happy you starting this thread , vanishing is part of my plan to ctb as I don't wish my body to be found .Studying maps to find the right location , somewhere where I can view the ocean would be perfect yet I cannot find an area which is not populated so , into the woods or mountains it shall be . Hopefully it will be next century before someone finds my bones though I'm sure the coyotes or something else may destroy them , on the plus side , my body may be a meal for whatever creature and all that will be left of me will be a pile of shit ...yay , fertilizer ! So it's all good !

Absolutely, share with me via PM so you don't give it away to anyone else, except me!. LOL.

 

[BPDbitch]

So happy you starting this thread , vanishing is part of my plan to ctb as I don't wish my body to be found .Studying maps to find the right location , somewhere where I can view the ocean would be perfect yet I cannot find an area which is not populated so , into the woods or mountains it shall be . Hopefully it will be next century before someone finds my bones though I'm sure the coyotes or something else may destroy them , on the plus side , my body may be a meal for whatever creature and all that will be left of me will be a pile of shit ...yay , fertilizer ! So it's all good !

I love the idea of my body going back to the earth like that. Finally something useful coming out of my existence!!

 

[SinisterKid]

Where I am going, no one is finding me anytime soon. Born of nature, back to nature.

 

[Farmmaa]

Where I am going, no one is finding me anytime soon. Born of nature, back to nature.

I would agree... I plan to head as far up into the mountains as the snow and my wheels will get me, and then hike for a few hours from there.

BUT - I do want my body found within a week or two so that my family doesn't come out to join in the search.... and so that they can all have closure.

 

[beatenghost]

I've not really thought about it and when I did I came to a conclusion I don't fully understand myself... I'd like for my remains to be found in such a way that they were not identifiable as me. I am not entirely sure why myself but that's what my heart says. I would rather not be found at all than found and identified

 

[Skyview]

Where I am going, no one is finding me anytime soon. Born of nature, back to nature.

I would agree... I plan to head as far up into the mountains as the snow and my wheels will get me, and then hike for a few hours from there.

BUT - I do want my body found within a week or two so that my family doesn't come out to join in the search.... and so that they can all have closure.

I've not really thought about it and when I did I came to a conclusion I don't fully understand myself... I'd like for my remains to be found in such a way that they were not identifiable as me. I am not entirely sure why myself but that's what my heart says. I would rather not be found at all than found and identified

I have no family so it's easy for me to disappear , friends I slowly drifted away from them citing work related rather than appear anti social . At work I have already informed them that I am leaving and moving to another country . It takes time to set all of this together so no one will be looking for me . This is the way I want to go , others may like another way , to each their own I say .

As SinisterKid stated "born of nature, back to nature."

@Farmmaa , delighted to read you want to give your family closure .

 

[MegaManMaverick94]

It's my fantasy to disappear and never be found again. So definitely that.

 

[Moonicide]

Mysteriously vanishing would be nice, but at the same time I would rather have my mother find me as I know it will help her come to terms with my death. I want to give her that comfort and closure. A few years back I told her that maybe one day I'd go in the woods and just off myself, she looked at me trying not to cry and said, "Please don't do that... I couldn't live without knowing or finding you. Please don't leave me wondering." Me dying without a trace would make my mom lose it more than me ctbing. I love her dearly and while she shouldn't be saying goodbye to her daughter on such terms, I know her finding me and being able to hold my body once last time while crying will help. She deserves that much as heartbreaking as it is.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

It's not exactly what you asked, but I would rather be found, but not suspected of CTB. If I could be found and have a finding of natural causes, that would be my dream come true.

 

[Nozzlehead]

I wouldn't want my family to find my corpse but I want them to know that I died so they can have closure.
Other than that, I don't really care.

 

[Untitled]

I would rather be found, because I know it will be hard for my family to not know what happened to me.

But what I want the most is to be forgotten.

 

[Ky204]

I wouldn't want my family members to have to see my body. I'd prefer an isolated forest where my body would eventually decompose and become part of the earth.

 

[Ghostmedic]

I have been thinking about vanishing... to the point where I have been watching tons of unsolved disappearance cases and taking note of what the police and people check in those cases to track the individuals last known location, as well as intentions... part of me wants to vanish so that no trace of me is ever found and no one can tell if I did it to myself, was murdered or abducted by aliens... I feel like that is better than being found, a shitshow so to speak, but then the closer I get to it... the less I care what people think, I mean what does it matter anyway? I wont be here... certainly caring about what they think of me while I'm here has contributed to the urge to ctb, so idk... maybe vanishing seems like a way to make sure that no one takes that from me as well.

It's not exactly what you asked, but I would rather be found, but not suspected of CTB. If I could be found and have a finding of natural causes, that would be my dream come true.

Yes, I see this being useful if I wanted to leave someone a nice life insurance gift

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've considered this topic a few times off and on, weighed the pros and cons. I'd honestly prefer to just go missing. But there are certain people I don't want to leave without some kind of closure.

 

[Shinbu]

Both are painful to them, I prefer to dematerialize to non existence and have the option to wipe everyone's memory of me so they could move on easier. They wouldn't know I exist because my body isn't there, and the memory wipe if it were possible.

 

[mathieu]

I would rather be found so there is closure for my family.

 

[idek]

I guess that depends... but I think mostly I'd rather go missing so no one has to find my body.

I guess I'm ambivalent in that respects because maybe it'd be better for everyone if they just had that closure...

But I dunno... I'm insane, so if i "just went missing" they could think I'm still alive living it up and be so angry that they won't miss me as much or mourn me as much.

How do I say: whatever reduces the pain of those who survive me.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

'Missing' most probablyy