N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,198
I think there are tests that can give you a certain probability whether you develop illnesses like dementia. It could comfort me prior to my suicide that my future would have been probably hellish anyway. However I think I probably would not do such a test. I think such probabilities could drive me crazy. I am already a person with very high anxiety levels and I think such statistics could hang over me like a sword of damocles.

One could ask the question more general would you want to know your future? I think this could depress me. A therapist once told me he finds it comforting that one does not know the future. Ironically he was the guy who once gave me up and thought that I will kill myself anyway. On the one hand side it makes a pessimistic view of the future less certain and gives hope by that. On the other hand I am an insecure control freak who is obsessed by fears and panic. The past psychosomatic pain was so extreme and it is likely it repeats due to the fact I am bipolar that I am always extremely anxious about the future. When I read how often bipolar people usually relapse this gives me the feeling there is no escape of suicide anyway for me.

I think I would not want to know them (to the title question). I already have a lot of sorrows. However I have the feeling I won't reach the age when people usually develop dementia anyway. So I am not sure what the prediction would tell me in that case. You would get it with 80 but wait you gonna kill yourself in 5 years anyway when all your desperate attempts to recover finally backfire. Sorry for being sarcastic my life is pretty shitty and I suffer a lot.
 
AnnonyBox

AnnonyBox

Specialist
Apr 11, 2018
334
I think knowing would give me some amount of peace, if for no other reason than confirmation my pessimist views on life. I would at least have some evidence to back my claims. I might look into one of those DNA tests now that you mention it.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,384
I actually think the fact that such a thing as dementia even exists is enough to make suicide seem like the most logical and appealing option. The flesh prison that is the human body disgusts me with how it can torture people, the thought of even reaching old age is incredibly horrific to me and yes I would like to know what lies ahead in the future as I hate the unpredictability of life.
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,415
Well, if I found out I'd get dementia soonish, I'd CTB asap. Dementia sounds absolutely terrible. If I knew if I'd get cancer in the future, I'd wait it out depending on how soon it is.
 

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