LonelyKitten
Seeking one final escape
- Aug 13, 2023
- 284
Myself I have traumatic experiences in the kind of response society gives to someone suicidal.
Based off this, I don't want to do the same to another.
I do not want to betray someone's trust at their lowest.
Getting punished, having traumatizing encounters with police/forceful medics, locked up, rights taken away, etc. does NOT help someone in crisis!
Now what is crucial here is, if I know the person at all. I do not feel very comfortable attempting to help someone I don't know well in a delicate situation, because I could make it a lot worse.
So as for this hypothetical, I'm gonna assume I know them reasonably well.
Were I to ever be faced with this, I wouldn't force them to keep living, or restrict them in any way.
I would offer to talk... Offer to spend time.
Consider primarily what they ask of me, if anything.
I think really listening, rather than dismissing, or judging them for self-harm/ctb is the only thing that could truly be helpful, or at least put them at further ease, or peace.
That is what I would aspire to do, at this point in my life.
There was actually... A fellow trans friend of mine, who struggled deeply with self-harm and suicidality...
We'd speak every single day. Every day.
Both of us adjusted our sleep schedules to each other, since she was in Australia, a 14-hour difference!
Oh, how I miss her... She..
Eventually just stopped coming around.
I thought she died.
I knew her situation was awful.
She was not safe.
But many months later, she re-surfaced...
Still in a terrible spot, she struggled with self harm, even showed me gruesome images.
I had found a safe refuge of my own, yet was still reeling from my own situation.
I didn't know how to react.
I didn't know how to help.
Even though I just found safety, I could not use said safety to be there for one of my cherished peers.
I wasn't able to offer any meaningful support, and we lost contact forever soon after.
To this day, I am not aware what became of her...
But I curse myself for failing her.
I'm sorry, Milly.
I hope you're either in a better place, or at peace.
So realistically, I know what to do in concept.
But in practice, it is fucking hard. It's so hard.
Based off this, I don't want to do the same to another.
I do not want to betray someone's trust at their lowest.
Getting punished, having traumatizing encounters with police/forceful medics, locked up, rights taken away, etc. does NOT help someone in crisis!
Now what is crucial here is, if I know the person at all. I do not feel very comfortable attempting to help someone I don't know well in a delicate situation, because I could make it a lot worse.
So as for this hypothetical, I'm gonna assume I know them reasonably well.
Were I to ever be faced with this, I wouldn't force them to keep living, or restrict them in any way.
I would offer to talk... Offer to spend time.
Consider primarily what they ask of me, if anything.
I think really listening, rather than dismissing, or judging them for self-harm/ctb is the only thing that could truly be helpful, or at least put them at further ease, or peace.
That is what I would aspire to do, at this point in my life.
There was actually... A fellow trans friend of mine, who struggled deeply with self-harm and suicidality...
We'd speak every single day. Every day.
Both of us adjusted our sleep schedules to each other, since she was in Australia, a 14-hour difference!
Oh, how I miss her... She..
Eventually just stopped coming around.
I thought she died.
I knew her situation was awful.
She was not safe.
But many months later, she re-surfaced...
Still in a terrible spot, she struggled with self harm, even showed me gruesome images.
I had found a safe refuge of my own, yet was still reeling from my own situation.
I didn't know how to react.
I didn't know how to help.
Even though I just found safety, I could not use said safety to be there for one of my cherished peers.
I wasn't able to offer any meaningful support, and we lost contact forever soon after.
To this day, I am not aware what became of her...
But I curse myself for failing her.
I'm sorry, Milly.
I hope you're either in a better place, or at peace.
So realistically, I know what to do in concept.
But in practice, it is fucking hard. It's so hard.
