Would you encourage this if it were your best friend or a family member?

[Cornbread4708]

sort of a philosophical hurdle, i'm curious how others react to this question. wouldn't you help them with all you had?

 

[FuneralCry]

If by this you mean suicide, then people can make decisions for themselves, they aren't obligated to exist here, wanting to escape from all future harms and suffering is always a perfectly logical and valid way to feel anyway rather than something people need "helping" from. Suicide should always be respected as a personal decision.

 

[paintedbutterfly676]

I wouldn't wish this nothingness on anyone. I wouldn't know what to say to someone I love in the same condition

 

[Mrpickles]

I have not, nor would I ever encourage someone to CTB. This is just a place to discuss without being bombarded by the same toxic positivity you would find everywhere else. Everyone has the right to feel how they feel.

So to answer your question: No, I wouldn't if it was a friend, relative, acquaintance, enemy, etc. I'll be a non-judgmental ear to listen to them. Life's hard, there's no reason to make it harder for anyone else.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It depends on the person in question and their situation. I have friends who support my decision, but "support" is not the right word really. What they're doing is deferring to my authority and expertise on my life and what is best for me. Of course that can certainly come off as encouragement to some people and it has. But it's not really. I would do the same with someone I recognized in a similar position to me. If I felt it was more temporary and not rationally sound I would do more to deter them.

 

[sash]

If someone I cared deeply for and I knew they were suffering and had done for a while. We would talk and talk over time. Then yes.

But that's me. I'm on this site. I held my dog while he slipped away peacefully, by injection. His suffering ended. 2012 & still broken over this, but it had to be done. It was about him, not me.

I hate seeing anything suffer. Its cruel.

 

[idk3]

I haven't seen anybody on this site encouraging people to end their life. Can't say the same about facebook/twitter/IG ect.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wouldn't encourage anyone to CTB. I don't think anyone else here would either. We do however respect a person's right to choose. I hope I would let them know that I was there for them. That they could tell me anything.

How about you? How would you 'support' your suicidal friend or family member? Do you really think you could make enough difference to their life to make them want to stay? How long would or could you do that for? I'm genuinely curious.

I think- as a suicidal person- it's kind of hard to convince another suicidal person that there is still hope without it sounding fake. I suspect our 'support' would be similar to what you see here. People who are genuinely empathetic and care about the suffering of others. It really depends on the person though.

What kind of person are we talking about? How old? How long have they had ideation? What caused it? Can they realistically solve their problems? Have they already received treatment in the form of therapy/meds? Are they open to that? Are they open to trying recovery?

Let's say they are- great- support them in finding ways to help them. What if they're not though? Then- what would you say to them without strong arming them into doing what you want them to do?

 

[Morgengrauen]

"encouraging" is the wrong word here. but support - it depends on the person. I've lost dozens of friends to suicide, some of them i tried to save because i knew their decision came from a place of impulse reaction to an easily solvable problem and - dare i say - teenage stupidity. But some of them i'm standing fully behind their decision, as much as it hurts and are still not over the grieving, since it was simply in their greatest interest to end their misery, planned out carefully and with a clear mind.

so if somebody i know opens up to me about any plans, who's truly suffering and being 100% sure they want to ctb, then i can't really say or do anything that would change their mind. all i'm asking is for a proper goodbye and would try to offer them a last good time. But if i know this person isn't sure, not in the mental space to think clearly or this just being a situational impulse i'll do my all to step in and help them out of this crisis.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I wouldn't 'help' anyone but would respect their decision so long as they were an adult and of sound mind/not vulnerable.

 

[リンさん]

"Encourage" is a bad choice of words here. It's very, very rare to see people encouraging suicide on SS, and those outliers are usually HEAVILY frowned upon anyway.

Now, for the question. If my hypothetical loved one was suffering so immensely that they couldn't be helped, I would wholly accept their decision to leave this world. Because I don't want them to continue suffering. Making them stay would be an extremely selfish thing for me to do.

That doesn't remove the grief I would have if they were to pass. That doesn't mean I wouldn't feel guilt or wouldnt wonder if there were ways for me to help them better.

My ex was a big proponent of assisted suicide because she witnessed her own mother slowly withering away from cancer, and wished this was an option for her. This is the most humane thing that can be done in those situations.

 

[alivefornow]

No, not really. I know it sounds hypocritical and contradictory, but feelings aren't logical. I want to be respected in my desire to die, but I don't want anyone I know and/or love to pass in such a disastrous way.

 

[Deleted User#81194]

It would make me sad, but I'd be content because I know not everyone is here forever. Whether or not I feel "okay" with them doing it would really depend on their situation.

 

[haibane]

I wouldn't ever encourage or tell anyone to kill themself. But if that what they want i can only accept his/her decision. Even if its my brother/a friend or anyone else. They have to decide by themselves if they want to do it or not.

 

[purgedXO]

It would really depend on the situation, and I know how hypocritical it sounds, but I'll admit it. If they were in a situation where they are constantly in pain, or dealing with something that seriously affected their quality of life, I'd support them. I wouldn't necessarily encourage it, it isn't something I'd ever want a family member or loved one to go through with, but if there is no other way to improve their quality of life and they are constantly suffering, I wouldn't want them to continue suffering.
I would never outright encourage or support them choosing to end their life if it weren't under those kinds of circumstances.

 

[Foreverix]

Would I encourage a best friend or family member to commit suicide, hypothetically?

No. I'm not cheering anyone on to end their life. Maybe myself to an extent. But it isn't my place to make imperatives on another person's life. I can only do that for me.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I wouldn't *encourage* anyone to ctb bc I know that suicide is difficult and if it goes wrong it can lead to disastrous consequences. If someone opens up to me I would share my views on such topic (as a pro-choice promortalist), share the resources and knowledge I have (so that they don't do anything incorrectly and risk having to deal with damaging consequences because of misinformation/lack of knowledge), but at the end of the day it's their choice to make. If they decide to ctb, I'll respect them fully and support them as much as I can.

 

[ftm68_99]

It depends on the person in question and their situation. I have friends who support my decision, but "support" is not the right word really. What they're doing is deferring to my authority and expertise on my life and what is best for me. Of course that can certainly come off as encouragement to some people and it has. But it's not really. I would do the same with someone I recognized in a similar position to me. If I felt it was more temporary and not rationally sound I would do more to deter them.

Your reply pretty much sums up my feelings, LaVieEnRose. I'd *like* to think that I would respect their wishes, though while I would not want to *discourage* them, I'd fear that if I encouraged them, they might think I want them to be gone. And I'd also like to think that, as you put it, if they seemed temporary or not rationally sound, I'd try to deter them. At least until I felt that they were indeed being rational. Hope that doesn't come off as patronizing.

 

[kipper]

I wouldnt encourage nor discourage it.. I would simply offer to be there for them. I have close friends who are struggling just as I am, I have never outright told them to do it nor to not do it. Ultimately, it's their choice. I dont want anyone to suffer, I just want them to know I love them and am willing to be by their side through hard times.

 

[ClownWorld2023]

I wouldn't encourage neither CTB or recovery. I'd just accept their decision.

 

[Aim]

I would never encourage anyone ever, or validate it out loud. But i would in the back of my mind understand it if they experience extreme pain on a daily basis. That also stops the person from having a functioning life.

 

[iamsofkntired]

That hit , I thought about it and I will absolutely not do it , if someone i love came to me and said they were suicidal i would be manic I will hug them and tell them not to do it and that i love them and I would do anything to stop it , wich Is ironic cuz I'm suicidal rn and my family is doing the same thing but i don't want it and kinda annoys me lol

 

[SVEN]

Being pro choice I'd try to offer support in whatever way I could.

 

[cosifantutti]

I wouldn't encourage it but if they'd been suffering long term I would support them.

eg if they wanted me to pass on information about where they could be found I would do that and keep that information to myself until necessary.

If someone I knew was intent on suicide and I found them unconscious I really believe I'd come back later.

 

[not_telling]

It's something I'm dealing with right now, a friend of mine confided that they want to die. The idea of losing them scares me so deeply, I've been getting panic attacks every time I can't escape the thought of them being gone. But still I couldn't find it in me to tell them it's wrong or that they shouldn't do it. I showed them the website, and said that, if they have to go, I want to be there for them. I told them I would miss them deeply and that would change everything and it would all be worse, but that I'll never be the one who takes her knife off their hands, I just don't want them to have to do it alone, so if they want company, I'm here. It makes me sick to think they might go and I just didn't do enough to save them, but I just can't bring myself to force her to live, not when I want to die too, at least. It's been eating me inside, I'm glad you made this post. It feels good to write this out.

 

[MiMif]

I have no best friend. If it were a family member....I think I would be surprised and then I would think we were similar and probably lose just about all hope and freak out and ctb about a week later.

I'm ngl I have a very bad personality....I can't see outside of my own head and suffering I don't think I would care about them too much....my personality sucks all my relationships suck I always end up distancing myself even if the other person tries their hardest to reach me. That's probably the main reason I want to ctb to be honest. As long as they are of age I would be chill.

Though if it were my younger sister I would try my hard3st to get her therapy no matter how much my parents tried to refuse

 

[BGooG]

Let me ask other parents - would you encourage, or support your child, to do this? If they were 17-18? Or in their 20s? 30s? And so on.

I know I'm not internally consistent, but I would do anything in my power to keep my child from ending their life. At any age. And yet I'm here, and generally supportive of all here. But my child ….

Nothing is absolute.

 

[vitbar]

Under the right circumstances I would try and be supportive. I wouldn't if it was being suggested in the heat of the moment. I know too well the draw it has when things are especially dark and I'm glad nobody helped me up to the edge when like that. My best friend too feels the same having been in those dark places. However if it was a properly considered choice I'd be supportive.

Things are tricky in the UK because of the law so it would be more like moral support. I have sympathy for some who have broken these laws for family and friends too disabled to commit themselves and could see myself doing the same in their shoes.

 

[dilemmadarlin]

i'd never ENCOURAGE anyone, but it'd be selfish of me to keep a loved one suffering.