Discussion Would you CTB if you were terminally ill ?

[Rational man]

Many of you may know that ive got a terminal endocrine disease. Not sure how long left, but i was curious to know if anyone else had any thoughts. The pain and symptoms are bad. Im still looking at assisted dying though legal means but its taking forever. Its the loss of dignity and control in dying that i fear. So would you ctb knowing that your life was ending in pain and suffering because of physical illness, or quickly or would you just let the disease TAKE its natural end. Im very much drawn to ending my life early due to illness.

 

[headwood]

My condition is not (as far as I know) terminal at this point, but it is most definitely chronic and the symptoms and damage seem to be worsening with no end in sight. I have neurological Lyme disease and additional tick-borne co-infections that have progressively rendered me more and more helpless as multiple systems as well as my brain itself has been severely destabilized and thrown into wild dysfunction because of the infections. I'm a slave to the constant onslaught of persistent symptoms that have made it so I am unable to work or live independently, and I've given up investing hope into them resolving or improving. Have had no success with treatment thus far.

So to answer your question: I think you will find a variety of answers from a variety of contexts. For me personally, ideally I'd take CTB into my own hands and elect not to pursue the legal route. On one hand, I am not ready to die, but on the other, I am being forced to live and perceive through a narrow tunnel of near-constant suffering. I was dead set on CTB a few months ago, but after procuring N and doing a couple of practice runs, I've realized that I'm trapped; I'm unable to actually go through with it. I am 40 and have no financial debt, no friends, no children and no spouse/partner, so have no real worldly attachments or loose ends to really worry about. The primary reason that I can't CTB, other than my own fear and SI, is because of the pain and suffering that my mother would endure as a result of my death. I am not close with her, but she has taken on a massive burden in the collapse of my health as I lost my former life and have had to move back in with her. I have not had a very happy or fulfilling adult life, but she gave me a wonderful childhood and has been there for me throughout my whole life. I have come to realize that I could never be at peace killing myself after the sacrifices that she's made for me.

I'm really sorry that you've been burdened with the endocrine disease, and the pain and symptoms that go along with it. That has to be incredibly difficult to manage and endure. It's so hard to wake up every day from sleep and re-enter the reality that your body has betrayed you.

 

[throwaway_2620]

I'm not advising you to do anything, but if I was terminally ill, I would personally CTB due to the fear of losing dignity and control over my own death. If I couldn't access voluntary assisted dying or if it was taking too long for me to access it because there were too many hoops and hurdles I had to jump through, I would take matters into my own hands and CTB because I would not want to face the prospect of unbearable suffering as well as the prospect of the loss of dignity and control in dying as I would want to have the option to die on my own terms if I was in that predicament.

For what it's worth, I'm so sorry about your terminal endocrine disease, my heart goes out to you. It sucks that voluntary assisted dying has to be so hard to access (or downright illegal, depending on where you live). I can understand why so many terminally ill people choose to take matters into their own hands and CTB. It's the fear of unbearable suffering as well as the fear of losing dignity and control in dying that pushes them to take such measures.

It's so fucked up that many terminally ill people are either forced to take matters into their own hands or suffer until the bitter end because they either can't access voluntary assisted dying or have to jump through so many hoops and hurdles that it may be too late by the time they can. In my opinion, the right to die with dignity should be acknowledged and treated as a basic fundamental human right. After all, we have the compassion to put our pets to sleep when they're suffering and their quality of life is poor and expected to get worse, so why shouldn't humans have that same right to a peaceful, dignified death?

 

[Alex6216]

Yea I would

 

[outrider567]

Yes, I would CTB sooner then

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, it sounds so horrifying dying from an illness and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Life is just so cruel and unfair. I think that, if I was in that situation, I would find a way to ctb before then. People should be able to exit peacefully when the time is right for them, no one should have to die a slow, painful death from an illness.

 

[Huntfish34]

It all really depends on what my illness is and how much pain I'd have to endure.

Sorry you are having to deal with this,. Thoughts and prayers to you. -

 

[Rational man]

My condition is not (as far as I know) terminal at this point, but it is most definitely chronic and the symptoms and damage seem to be worsening with no end in sight. I have neurological Lyme disease and additional tick-borne co-infections that have progressively rendered me more and more helpless as multiple systems as well as my brain itself has been severely destabilized and thrown into wild dysfunction because of the infections. I'm a slave to the constant onslaught of persistent symptoms that have made it so I am unable to work or live independently, and I've given up investing hope into them resolving or improving. Have had no success with treatment thus far.

So to answer your question: I think you will find a variety of answers from a variety of contexts. For me personally, ideally I'd take CTB into my own hands and elect not to pursue the legal route. On one hand, I am not ready to die, but on the other, I am being forced to live and perceive through a narrow tunnel of near-constant suffering. I was dead set on CTB a few months ago, but after procuring N and doing a couple of practice runs, I've realized that I'm trapped; I'm unable to actually go through with it. I am 40 and have no financial debt, no friends, no children and no spouse/partner, so have no real worldly attachments or loose ends to really worry about. The primary reason that I can't CTB, other than my own fear and SI, is because of the pain and suffering that my mother would endure as a result of my death. I am not close with her, but she has taken on a massive burden in the collapse of my health as I lost my former life and have had to move back in with her. I have not had a very happy or fulfilling adult life, but she gave me a wonderful childhood and has been there for me throughout my whole life. I have come to realize that I could never be at peace killing myself after the sacrifices that she's made for me.

I'm really sorry that you've been burdened with the endocrine disease, and the pain and symptoms that go along with it. That has to be incredibly difficult to manage and endure. It's so hard to wake up every day from sleep and re-enter the reality that your body has betrayed you.

My condition is not (as far as I know) terminal at this point, but it is most definitely chronic and the symptoms and damage seem to be worsening with no end in sight. I have neurological Lyme disease and additional tick-borne co-infections that have progressively rendered me more and more helpless as multiple systems as well as my brain itself has been severely destabilized and thrown into wild dysfunction because of the infections. I'm a slave to the constant onslaught of persistent symptoms that have made it so I am unable to work or live independently, and I've given up investing hope into them resolving or improving. Have had no success with treatment thus far.

So to answer your question: I think you will find a variety of answers from a variety of contexts. For me personally, ideally I'd take CTB into my own hands and elect not to pursue the legal route. On one hand, I am not ready to die, but on the other, I am being forced to live and perceive through a narrow tunnel of near-constant suffering. I was dead set on CTB a few months ago, but after procuring N and doing a couple of practice runs, I've realized that I'm trapped; I'm unable to actually go through with it. I am 40 and have no financial debt, no friends, no children and no spouse/partner, so have no real worldly attachments or loose ends to really worry about. The primary reason that I can't CTB, other than my own fear and SI, is because of the pain and suffering that my mother would endure as a result of my death. I am not close with her, but she has taken on a massive burden in the collapse of my health as I lost my former life and have had to move back in with her. I have not had a very happy or fulfilling adult life, but she gave me a wonderful childhood and has been there for me throughout my whole life. I have come to realize that I could never be at peace killing myself after the sacrifices that she's made for me.

I'm really sorry that you've been burdened with the endocrine disease, and the pain and symptoms that go along with it. That has to be incredibly difficult to manage and endure. It's so hard to wake up every day from sleep and re-enter the reality that your body has betrayed you.

I.appreciate.your profound.words. Lyme.disease.is awful. We have.warning signs in our forests because of potential tick bites. A little tick can devastate a human body. My heart goes out to you because of your suffering. I feel trapped in a body that was once healthy and fit. Then suddenly, shortly after the covid vax, i fell ill. Im not an anti vax person but ifind it strange how the doctors have remained silent. I need to leave my body because of the pain. My tormented mind and body shrinking and belly is almost paralysed due to nerve damage now.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I.appreciate.your profound.words. Lyme.disease.is awful. We have.warning signs in our forests because of potential tick bites. A little tick can devastate a human body. My heart goes out to you because of your suffering. I feel trapped in a body that was once healthy and fit. Then suddenly, shortly after the covid vax, i fell ill. Im not an anti vax person but ifind it strange how the doctors have remained silent. I need to leave my body because of the pain. My tormented mind and body shrinking and belly is almost paralysed due to nerve damage now.

the hell happened after the covid vax?

 

[Rational man]

I'm not advising you to do anything, but if I was terminally ill, I would personally CTB due to the fear of losing dignity and control over my own death. If I couldn't access voluntary assisted dying or if it was taking too long for me to access it because there were too many hoops and hurdles I had to jump through, I would take matters into my own hands and CTB because I would not want to face the prospect of unbearable suffering as well as the prospect of the loss of dignity and control in dying as I would want to have the option to die on my own terms if I was in that predicament.

For what it's worth, I'm so sorry about your terminal endocrine disease, my heart goes out to you. It sucks that voluntary assisted dying has to be so hard to access (or downright illegal, depending on where you live). I can understand why so many terminally ill people choose to take matters into their own hands and CTB. It's the fear of unbearable suffering as well as the fear of losing dignity and control in dying that pushes them to take such measures.

It's so fucked up that many terminally ill people are either forced to take matters into their own hands or suffer until the bitter end because they either can't access voluntary assisted dying or have to jump through so many hoops and hurdles that it may be too late by the time they can. In my opinion, the right to die with dignity should be acknowledged and treated as a basic fundamental human right. After all, we have the compassion to put our pets to sleep when they're suffering and their quality of life is poor and expected to get worse, so why shouldn't humans have that same right to a peaceful, dignified death?

Thank you for your thoughts. In UK, 10% of suicides are linked to chronic disease. I read of a story where an actress was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She went home and drank a bottle of acid. Such a drastic way but in UK we are awaiting law to be passes on assisted dying. Unfortunately, probably.too late for me. PEACE❤

It all really depends on what my illness is and how much pain I'd have to endure.

Sorry you are having to deal with this,. Thoughts and prayers to you. -

Thank you❤

Yea I would

THANKS❤

It all really depends on what my illness is and how much pain I'd have to endure.

Sorry you are having to deal with this,. Thoughts and prayers to you. -

thanks❤

It all really depends on what my illness is and how much pain I'd have to endure.

Sorry you are having to deal with this,. Thoughts and prayers to you. -

thanks❤

To me, it sounds so horrifying dying from an illness and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Life is just so cruel and unfair. I think that, if I was in that situation, I would find a way to ctb before then. People should be able to exit peacefully when the time is right for them, no one should have to die a slow, painful death from an illness.

thanks. I fear,long painful death. I saw my mum die awfully.

the hell happened after the covid vax?

i took.the Vax in good faith but i cant help but think this chemical vax triggered something in me.

 

[RagingCat]

I'm sorry, you have to go through this.
I personally would ctb if I were in that situation, not just because of pain, I have seen how people mentally change because of illnesses and I couldn't stand to be like that.
No one can tell you what to do, the decision is yours only, either way, I hope you will find the peace you deserve

 

[Rational man]

I'm sorry, you have to go through this.
I personally would ctb if I were in that situation, not just because of pain, I have seen how people mentally change because of illnesses and I couldn't stand to be like that.
No one can tell you what to do, the decision is yours only, either way, I hope you will find the peace you deserve

i appreciate your feedback. Its difficult anyway, just awful.❤

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

If the illness was definitely terminal and would lead to ultimately a way diminished quality of life - being dependent on someone else for daily care, being in pain, etc... - then Yes I definitely would find a way to go out before the illness took me too far. I've actually often thought that having a terminal illness would let me ctb with less guilt.

I am sorry you are suffering and I hope that you find peace with whatever you decide.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Depending on what the illness is, I'd rather just forgo treatment and let the disease take me as soon as it can.

 

[Life interrupted]

I'm sorry your health was ruined by the vax. I have a terminal disease caused by covid. I was fit and had no health issues. My quality of life is declining and I prefer to ctb before I become too weak to have control over my life. I want to live but can't enjoy life anymore. What's holding me back is the lack of a peaceful method.

 

[Ta555]

It depends what the disease was. If it was one that would leave me paralysed I'd CTB for sure. If it was cancer or something like that I'd probably hang on as long as I could and then go the assisted suicide route.

So often I wake up and just wish and hope I get cancer so I can refuse treatment and eventually get assisted suicide. So far no such luck :( I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Btw, may I ask, how did you figure out it was endocrine?

 

[YourNeighbor]

Illness is why I am preparing to suicide when life becomes too difficult. I doubt I will have the guts to do it even then, but having a plan gives me some comfort in the meantime.

 

[Al Cappella]

Absolutely I would. I'd apply for MAID shortly after having a diagnosis.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

There's no question about it for me. I don't have a terminal illness, that I know of, well, except life, I guess, but I have a minor chronic one, which I can deal with. But, if I had a terminal disease, I would certainly plan on ctb long before it got so bad that I wouldn't be able to carry it out anymore. I mean, I'm on SS now and actively planning my demise because of depression and loneliness and a litany of other non-terminal life conditions. I'd place having a terminal condition over and above my reasons for needing to ctb, at least for me.

 

[MisFortunate]

Illness is why I am preparing to suicide when life becomes too difficult. I doubt I will have the guts to do it even then, but having a plan gives me some comfort in the meantime.

Same circumstance. I'm sick but SI is so strong.

 

[Chronic]

Perhaps...depends on how good hospice care was treating me. Sure wish I could get a palliative care doctor to do home care now since I can no longer drive and have to depend on others for too much. Good healthcare can make a big difference in my opinion, with the right meds living life is somewhat tolerable for me, with inadequate healthcare, however, I start cutting to distract myself from my spine pain and fine tune my exit strategy. If I could just buy some poppy seeds from the grocery stores and legally grow my own opium to treat my pain it sure would improve my quality of life. I'd give hospice a go first if I were you. In some states like in the PNW ddmp2 is a legal option for physician assisted suicide, I wish I had *all* the meds needed for that method for when the time comes. The swiss method or some N would also be good but come with more difficulty as far as ease of access.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Depends. Are we talking decades to kill terminal? Or days to months to kill terminal? If the former, yes. If the latter, dope me up and let me die in comfort.

Technically severe depression is a terminal illness.

 

[Rational man]

Depends. Are we talking decades to kill terminal? Or days to months to kill terminal? If the former, yes. If the latter, dope me up and let me die in comfort.

Technically severe depression is a terminal illness.

Weeks.to 3 Months but how effective is medication in palliative care. My Mother suffered awfully and thats my fear.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Weeks.to 3 Months but how effective is medication in palliative care. My Mother suffered awfully and thats my fear.

Then depends on how much suffering you're going through in that time frame.

 

[Capsaicin78]

Yes, definetely. Dying painless with dignity left should be a right to every human. But nooooo.... we have to get every penny out of people until they're dead.

 

[Rational man]

There's no question about it for me. I don't have a terminal illness, that I know of, well, except life, I guess, but I have a minor chronic one, which I can deal with. But, if I had a terminal disease, I would certainly plan on ctb long before it got so bad that I wouldn't be able to carry it out anymore. I mean, I'm on SS now and actively planning my demise because of depression and loneliness and a litany of other non-terminal life conditions. I'd place having a terminal condition over and above my reasons for needing to ctb, at least for me.

i recall the story of a patient with cancer who was prescribed enough medication to ctb. He described it as comforting ro know he had this in reserve but in the end he lived for the next 3 or 4 Months and died.from the disease.

 

[Chronic]

Weeks.to 3 Months but how effective is medication in palliative care. My Mother suffered awfully and thats my fear.

You can ask for hospice if your life expectancy is less than 6 months. My last pain doc had a palliative care background and was excellent. My current doc is nowhere near as good. Hospice should be able to get you liquid morphine for pain without any issue at all and are more liberal at prescribing meds than most healthcare professionals. Most of my relatives died comfortably in their sleep thanks to hospice care, and morphine.

 

[Rational man]

You can ask for hospice if your life expectancy is less than 6 months. My last pain doc had a palliative care background and was excellent. My current doc is nowhere near as good. Hospice should be able to get you liquid morphine for pain without any issue at all and are more liberal at prescribing meds than most healthcare professionals. Most of my relatives died comfortably in their sleep thanks to hospice care, and morphine.

i hope i go quickly. The prospect of a long drawn out death is concerning . Thanks❤