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Doll Steak

Doll Steak

Student
May 31, 2025
138
This may just be me, but I care a little bit about how I would look after CTB, of course not that much... but its a small consideration I have.

Like I think of the outfit I would wear, how the method I use would result in me looking after the fact, the location, is it a nice one? is it ugly?

Again though, I really couldn't care that much, and after death it wouldn't matter. Maybe this is just me trying to make CTB into a fun thing, more dissociation crap... but it does help it feel more casual and less like a serious decision, I think it kind of numbs my SI too, not sure exactly. I like to think of it as just falling asleep and me dressing up for the next day ahead of time even though I know I wouldn't be there.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,492
No . Nothing matters . Especially nothing matters after i die because I'll cease to exist forever . We're all going to die and most will be rotting corpses anyway being eaten by worms

After my brain dies To my perspective it will be as if this horrible world and universe ended as if it never existed in the first place all forgotten

The world, others, me only exist as models in my brain , software etched in neural networks in my brain
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Elementalist
May 10, 2025
810
since my sepsis I look like a corpse
I feel bad
I dont care what I look like when I am dead
 
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J

Jadeith

Arcanist
Jan 14, 2025
404
Yes and no.
Like I think of the outfit I would wear, how the method I use would result in me looking after the fact, the location, is it a nice one? is it ugly?
No, nothing like that. But...
I wouldn't like to leave a mess after i'm gone so i got me a nice comfy body bag, just in case my body decides to empty itself.
 
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cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Warlock
Mar 15, 2025
709
I think of it like this: When I die, everything dies with me, meaning: Any concern I might have about how I will look, my worries about how my actions might affect others, everything, goes down with this ship.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,713
If I'm dead then I cannot care about anything which is all I hope for, all will be forgotten in non-existence anyway no matter what, all I want is to be permanently free from this torturous, futile existence.
 
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SadBumblebee

SadBumblebee

Member
Jul 10, 2025
17
To be the devils advocate here, I do care about what I would look like as when a family member sees my corpse I wouldn't want them to feel even more horrified. I know people don't care because when they are dead nothing matters, but for me it does matter as I care about my family and want to minimise their pain.
 
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hemlocked

hemlocked

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Jun 30, 2025
31
For me it's not so much only how I look, but the general experience for those who find me first. So I intend to empty my bladder and bowels just before I CTB so that I don't smell too gross.

As for looks, I plan on trimming my hair and beard and nails, and to wear decently okay clothes. But that's about it.
 
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NoHorizon

Experienced
Nov 22, 2022
288
I'd hate for my family/friends to find me if I was going to be traumatic to look at, but hopefully it'll be the emergency services who are trained to deal with unpleasant scenes, in which case I don't care what I'll look like.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,056
If I had means to a peaceful and reliable, accessible method, then I would prefer a peaceful, dignified exit. However, most of us, including myself don't have that luxury, so I will choose the most efficient, reliable, and painless way to go, even if it is brutal and messy. But ultimately, no, I don't care how I really looked after my death as I just want to exit suffering on my own terms, and also, I would not have the capability to care or experience the aftermath once I'm dead.
 
K

kopebaldy

Member
Jul 5, 2025
31
I care in the sense that it would traumatize the person who will discover my body. But other than that, meh.
 

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