Would people around you be suprised when you die?

[Candleburn]

Hi! Only a few really close once know how i'm feeling. Moste people around me have no clue since I'm good at hiding it and pretend im fine and even happy. Co-workers etc will be in completely shock when I die since they see me as the happy and chatty one.

Will people in your life be shocked?

 

[Ash]

I think so. I have BPD so my emotions flip quickly, unpredictably and sometimes several times a day but I'm usually very careful to mask my unhappiness around other people so they tend to see the cheerful, jocular me and not the one behind closed doors who cuts deeply, sobs to the point of hyperventilation, gets angry for no reason, and spends hours researching different suicide methods. Very few people ask how I am as most people have no idea that my thoughts and feelings are so dark - or if they did once know, they assume I've recovered as I learnt* the hard way that while people are extremely sympathetic when you first become, for want of another phrase, mentally ill, if it continues, they quickly run out of things to say, even patience.

*I say "learnt" but it's a trap I keep falling into.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not sure. One one hand, they may not know the full extent of my suffering but they do know that I never made a single friend during my life (not even during childhood) which is something that would fuck anybody over and make them suicidal I think. Not to mention they know that I also rot in my room all day as I don't really enjoy anything to do anything else so they probably could infer that I don't really want to be alive

However, on the other hand, they could be surprised that I pulled off a suicide attempt successfully as they know that I'm too inept to do anything, even the smallest of things, so they'd be surprised at how I managed to do something as complicated as a suicide attempt

 

[trashprincess]

My family would be. They remain willfully ignorant about how their actions effect others.

Everyone else I think knows how depressed I am, they just don't really care.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Not really. When the news hit, probably weeks or months after it happens, they won't care and easily move on.

 

[steppingoff]

Generally yes. Like most suicides, it will be unexpected. I only plan to be found in a hotel

 

[rozeske]

Not really. It will be more of an 'I knew it' kind of thing. More of a 'well, the feared has happened' kind of moment.

 

[boddibo]

I wonder. I've always been showing symptom of depression but never shown any that would hint at suicide, but suicide is something common in the family, so maybe it is expected.

 

[Meteora]

No because they know that I ve been suicidal since years.

 

[tronix]

Yes, they would be. They think I'm stronger than I am.
And because they think so, I feel left alone while going through something difficult. I am left alone. No one calls me, no one writes me, no one cares.

 

[Meteora]

And because they think so, I feel left alone while going through something difficult. I am left alone. No one calls me, no one writes me, no one cares.

Same.
I realized later that people want to believe I m strong because then they don't have to do anything.

 

[tronix]

Same.
I realized later that people want to believe I m strong because then they don't have to do anything.

Exactly. They have their own stuff to deal with. But it hurts anyway.

 

[Meteora]

Exactly. They have their own stuff to deal with. But it hurts anyway.

It hurts like mad.

 

[FuneralCry]

If people are surprised by the fact that we are all going to die eventually then they clearly lack any awareness, death is all that's inevitable, existing beings are just waiting to die.

 

[Kit1]

Apart from the medics, everyone else will be surprised/shocked. I am the person who people turn to for support and people don't even realise that I am capable of having any issues let alone that I am a walking/living disaster.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really don't know. Some know I was suicidal when growing up and if they really thought about it, they'd probably realise something's been off for decades. But- because it's been so long, I suppose people do just assume you'll keep carrying on.

 

[Final_Choice]

Doubt it, there's quite a few people around me which know (to differing degrees) about how I'm doing. To them I doubt this would be a surprise, there are some people who don't know and they might be surprised, but when I do it hopefully it can come across as an accident and they won't think it was on purpose.

 

[pluscat]

Hi! Only a few really close once know how i'm feeling. Moste people around me have no clue since I'm good at hiding it and pretend im fine and even happy. Co-workers etc will be in completely shock when I die since they see me as the happy and chatty one.

Will people in your life be shocked?

My family probably would be, because they think my depressed self is my normal self, but my 1 friend probably won't be shocked because she knows everything I'm going through, everyone else would be happy I'm gone.

 

[marchshift]

Nope. They've known my intentions for a while.

 

[Return2themoonlight]

Being surprised would be the baseline for how people would feel about my outcome. Truth be told, everyone around would be outright traumatized, they would blame themselves as well as others for my outcome.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Hi! Only a few really close once know how i'm feeling. Moste people around me have no clue since I'm good at hiding it and pretend im fine and even happy. Co-workers etc will be in completely shock when I die since they see me as the happy and chatty one.

Will people in your life be shocked?

No. They know I have been struggling.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Hi! Only a few really close once know how i'm feeling. Moste people around me have no clue since I'm good at hiding it and pretend im fine and even happy. Co-workers etc will be in completely shock when I die since they see me as the happy and chatty one.

Will people in your life be shocked?

No. I have been talking about CTB for 18 months now. I think the only surprise is that I haven't done it yet.

 

[henry22]

They would have seen it coming from a mile away. My life is falling apart right now and my friends and family all know.

 

[LOVELYDARKDEEP]

Oh hell yeah. I think I'm going to blindside the fuck out of a lot of people.

I ended up getting admitted against my will to a psychiatric ward in my first CTB attempt ten years ago. I lost my job, my apartment, almost everything I owned even because they wouldn't let me leave. I ended up homeless and it took me years to pull myself out of that hole. Learned my lesson on how important subtlety is.

It's unfortunate that there's no good way for me to cushion the blow to my loved ones, but if I do this, I'm doing it right and I want to give myself the highest possible chance of success.

 

[sapphoslastpoem]

Probably not. I've been this way since I was 9 years old, mental illness runs rampant on both sides of my family, I've been struggling with various conditions for my whole life—I've been on a ticking timer for a while now and I think most people around me are expecting me to be gone at any minute

 

[Malaria]

Not at all. They know I'm suicidal. I've attempted more times than I can count. I talk very often about wanting to die with them, though I've stopped since I can tell I'm clearly a burden to them whenever I do talk about it.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

Maybe? I've gotten exceptionally good at masking my suicidality and seem like I'm progressing in life on the surface. So, those who only (want to) see that will be surprised, but those who really know me probably won't be.