dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I smoked Bufo Alvarius 8 times last week.
First 2 times high doses, I begged to die, screamed, ask my companions to please kill me.
Today I smoked about six times, from a all dosis and increasing the dosis. First five not so good. Number six I puked, felt awful , drooled and then worried no more, doors of love opened up, amazing gratifying experience, I will smoke again tomorrow. I even called my mom and said I love you.
 
Boonks

Boonks

Lowlife
Mar 2, 2019
236
Probably not. Yet I cannot overcome my existence. Great. Life is not without pain, suffering, evil, injustice. She believes in God though...and that there is a solution to every problem...so when I go I guess she can thank God for the suffering he's caused and hopefully he'll be able to help her.
I can't even believe that I just wrote that. It shows that I'm fucked in the head. I can't think straight, I can't feel straight, my suffering is unbearable. I'm deeply sorry for those who will hurt because of my hurting. But why would God do this. What is the point. I don't understand. And if you don't understand me, you don't have mental illness. So be grateful and move on.
 
Last edited:
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
stop it with the God thing, its not like that
she'll be sad
her cute little boy man killed himself, what a shame on society
sorry mother
actually I was getting better mom, but now , this week, I said, let's move on, lets continue
so monday i came to work, and instead of work,
I tried looking to buy a house
just to realize
the money I lost could have been used to work real state
but now im poor
and cant afford a house
sorry mom

I was getting better but setbacks and going back to work, having a challenge I cant overcome is disastrous to my soul, i rather dont live like this all the rest of my life, maybe people learned to enjoy this challenges... im just..
 

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