I have a friend who only wants to talk to me once during the weekend but I always see her being online on WhatsApp talking to other friends during the week. As a result, it feels like she does not like me as a friend that much since it seems like I am not much of a priority to her in terms of the scarce communication she prefers in our friendship compared to others. I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you
Interloper
■
- Jul 23, 2021
- 688
What does she say when you try to talk to her during the week, does she just ignore you until the weekend?
edu0z
carried away by a moonlight shadow
- Aug 25, 2021
- 552
Don't suffocate her... I know it's hard to see that they prefer other people to you. Especially if she is your only friend or is someone very important to you. That jealousy is normal, it happens to all of us. But I recommend that if you do not want to push her away just enjoy the time you have with her and try to make her enjoy it too without forcing things so much. Invite her to places you both like or things like that or try to get her to introduce you to her other friends. If you join the group, then it will be much better... Above all, try to have a life, things that you like and that you can talk about so that she does not feel overwhelmed by being your only distraction.
Thank you very much for the advice. I don't like being treated like an option so staying in a friendship where they prefer other people over me is not something I am willing to settle for in the long run.
i'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this, it can be tricky finding good friends. 
of course i don't know the full situation, but it doesn't sound very nice that your friend is treating you like this. you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend.
i'm not the best at advice, but i would maybe suggest that you talk to your friend about how you she is making you feel. i know it might feel a bit weird and awkward to bring something like that up, but i think it's important to know where you stand in a relationship.
i also don't know if she or you are the one to initiate conversations, but if you are always the one who has to start the conversation i know from experience that it's no fun, you shouldn't have to always be to one to reach out.
sorry this probably isn't very helpful, but sending you a big hug.
of course i don't know the full situation, but it doesn't sound very nice that your friend is treating you like this. you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend.
i'm not the best at advice, but i would maybe suggest that you talk to your friend about how you she is making you feel. i know it might feel a bit weird and awkward to bring something like that up, but i think it's important to know where you stand in a relationship.
i also don't know if she or you are the one to initiate conversations, but if you are always the one who has to start the conversation i know from experience that it's no fun, you shouldn't have to always be to one to reach out.
sorry this probably isn't very helpful, but sending you a big hug.
Last edited:
faex42
Experienced
- Oct 19, 2018
- 213
Sounds like good advice to me.i'm sorry to hear that you're dealing this, it can be tricky finding good friends.
of course i don't know the full situation, but it doesn't sound very nice that your friend is treating you like this. you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend.
i'm not the best at advice, but i would maybe suggest that you talk to your friend about how you she is making you feel. i know it might feel a bit weird and awkward to bring something like that up, but i think it's important to know where you stand in a relationship.
i also don't know if she or you are the one to initiate conversations, but if you are always the one who has to start the conversation i know from experience that it's no fun, you shouldn't have to always be to one to reach out.
sorry this probably isn't very helpful, but sending you a big hug.
Sounds like good
i'm sorry to hear that you're dealing this, it can be tricky finding good friends.
of course i don't know the full situation, but it doesn't sound very nice that your friend is treating you like this. you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend.
i'm not the best at advice, but i would maybe suggest that you talk to your friend about how you she is making you feel. i know it might feel a bit weird and awkward to bring something like that up, but i think it's important to know where you stand in a relationship.
i also don't know if she or you are the one to initiate conversations, but if you are always the one who has to start the conversation i know from experience that it's no fun, you shouldn't have to always be to one to reach out.
sorry this probably isn't very helpful, but sending
i'm sorry to hear that you're dealing this, it can be tricky finding good friends.
of course i don't know the full situation, but it doesn't sound very nice that your friend is treating you like this. you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend.
i'm not the best at advice, but i would maybe suggest that you talk to your friend about how you she is making you feel. i know it might feel a bit weird and awkward to bring something like that up, but i think it's important to know where you stand in a relationship.
i also don't know if she or you are the one to initiate conversations, but if you are always the one who has to start the conversation i know from experience that it's no fun, you shouldn't have to always be to one to reach out.
sorry this probably isn't very helpful, but sending you a
"you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend"i'm sorry to hear that you're dealing this, it can be tricky finding good friends.
of course i don't know the full situation, but it doesn't sound very nice that your friend is treating you like this. you definitely deserve to have a friend who talks to you more than just once on the weekend.
i'm not the best at advice, but i would maybe suggest that you talk to your friend about how you she is making you feel. i know it might feel a bit weird and awkward to bring something like that up, but i think it's important to know where you stand in a relationship.
i also don't know if she or you are the one to initiate conversations, but if you are always the one who has to start the conversation i know from experience that it's no fun, you shouldn't have to always be to one to reach out.
sorry this probably isn't very helpful, but sending you a big hug.
Thank you very much. This is helpful and affirming. I needed to hear that.
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
As shameful as this is, I have to admit that sometimes there are some people to whom I have an easier time speaking to. So I might have two (internet) friends, and as much as I want to speak to friend B, it can be much more easier for me to speak with friend A. So, instead of going like this:
Friend A: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: No, haven't had time.
Friend B: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: No, haven't had time.
it goes like:
Friend A: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: No, haven't had time.
Friend B: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: Gee, I want to answer you and I honestly like talking to you, but I'm still nervous around you since we've only known each other for four months and I get easily stressed and I'm feeling a bit tired, so I'll answer you tomorrow. Five days later: Oh, shit! I forgot to answer! This is embarrassing. I don't want to appear impolite and rude and uncaring. Oh, but now I'm even more stressed and nervous around you. And I can't communicate with new friends when I'm stressed.
So, maybe they are like me. Sometimes only able to communicate with someone people when they are less stressed/busy. The fact that she can communicate with you during weekends when she is likely less stressed supports that theory.
I know it can make you feel unliked. I'd feel the same. There's this saying "People say I'm important, but no one ever says that I'm the priority, so I don't actually feel important." It would be nice if everyone had one person who made them their priority.
And if you feel brave, you can of course say something like "Do you think our conversations are boring?" or something. If all your conversations with her are the type of "What did you eat for lunch?" then it might be boring for her to talk and she might prioritize others.
That said, I hope you can find another person to talk with. I know from experience that having only one person to talk with, and especially if that one person is the type to not be chatty with you, can feel shitty. You deserve to feel like you are important and liked.
Friend A: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: No, haven't had time.
Friend B: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: No, haven't had time.
it goes like:
Friend A: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: No, haven't had time.
Friend B: Have you drawn anything recently?
I: Gee, I want to answer you and I honestly like talking to you, but I'm still nervous around you since we've only known each other for four months and I get easily stressed and I'm feeling a bit tired, so I'll answer you tomorrow. Five days later: Oh, shit! I forgot to answer! This is embarrassing. I don't want to appear impolite and rude and uncaring. Oh, but now I'm even more stressed and nervous around you. And I can't communicate with new friends when I'm stressed.
So, maybe they are like me. Sometimes only able to communicate with someone people when they are less stressed/busy. The fact that she can communicate with you during weekends when she is likely less stressed supports that theory.
I know it can make you feel unliked. I'd feel the same. There's this saying "People say I'm important, but no one ever says that I'm the priority, so I don't actually feel important." It would be nice if everyone had one person who made them their priority.
And if you feel brave, you can of course say something like "Do you think our conversations are boring?" or something. If all your conversations with her are the type of "What did you eat for lunch?" then it might be boring for her to talk and she might prioritize others.
That said, I hope you can find another person to talk with. I know from experience that having only one person to talk with, and especially if that one person is the type to not be chatty with you, can feel shitty. You deserve to feel like you are important and liked.
faex42
Experienced
- Oct 19, 2018
- 213
Who needs one-sided "friendships"? If I know there's a valid reason why I'm doing all the reaching out. then ok. If there isn't one that can be learned, I don't
need that person simply because they're showing me they don't need me or want me as a friend. Just speaking for myself, I've tolerated it in the past and it's never worked out. I can be alone if I have to be. I can survive loneliness if I have to and that makes it possible to let phony friendships slowly turn into dust.
need that person simply because they're showing me they don't need me or want me as a friend. Just speaking for myself, I've tolerated it in the past and it's never worked out. I can be alone if I have to be. I can survive loneliness if I have to and that makes it possible to let phony friendships slowly turn into dust.
Last edited:
