Discussion would a partner, possibly make you feel better?

[overmorrow]

I don't mean sexually or whatever, ofc, i mean, would they make your life less painful, would you consider living for them? or at least not contemplating suicide?

ps sorry if i didn't make any sense i just woke up

 

[itsgone2]

I don't mean sexually or whatever, ofc, i mean, would they make your life less painful, would you consider living for them? or at least not contemplating suicide?

ps sorry if i didn't make any sense i just woke up

I don't want to put this life on anyone.

If they were successful and supportive, maybe but no one in that position should need to deal with my issues and life.

 

[overmorrow]

I don't want to put this life on anyone.

If they were successful and supportive, maybe but no one in that position should need to deal with my issues and life.

yeaaa, same, in my current state i don't want to burden anyone else, if i had a lover nothing would change for me, I'd be equally miserable, I'm pretty sure

 

[Dejected 55]

My particular problem revolves entirely around my always having been alone. If I wasn't always facing everything by myself, I wouldn't have worn myself down and burned out and want to die. So, yes, for me... a partner in life would have made all the difference.

 

[ashendreams]

i always feel like a relationship would fix me and then i get one and i end up even more miserable than before :/ cant seem to learn my lesson

 

[waqs]

yeah, i feel that losing my ex gf from my life was a major catalyst to ending up here. i hadn't had a healthy relationship up until then and when we broke up i feel as i lost a fire in the middle of a snow storm. i hope to find that warmth again.

 

[strayed]

I'm currently taking a break with my partner and it made me realize how much of a support system a relationship is. She definitely made me feel better and was always there to hear me out, but part of me felt really guilty and afraid. I feared that she wouldn't want to break up with me because I might hurt myself. I also felt horrible hearing her cry when I would open up about my personal struggles so I began to push her away and slowly ghost her whenever shit hit the fan.

Rant aside, relationships for me at least made life far more bareable.

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Yes, but in my current state, better not have anyone.
I'm too determined to ctb.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I used to think so. Now, I'm not sure. I could envisage a number of things happening. The unlikely one would be that my whole attitude to life would change and I would be happy. The more likely one would be that I would retain a lot of my pessimism/ cynicism and unhappiness.

From there, I would need to decide: How much do I burden them with that? Will I feel guilty for bringing them down? From there- will they drown with me or, will they remain buoyant? To remain buoyant, they will presumably need to, in some way disassociate themselves from me. So then, it isn't sounding so much like a close relationship. So- what's the point? Do I want someone to drown with me then instead? No.

Moving on to the alternative- that I hide a large chunk of who I am from them to spare them either drowning too or becoming so overwhelmed that they disassociate.

If I happen to reveal that I do feel low, I presumably also have to pretend that they've helped- if they do try to support me. But, what if they haven't? What if nothing they do helps? Then, I'll be living a lie so as not to upset them. That would be exhausting. I like being able to express my emotions without burdening anyone with them.

They'll (likely) be of limited or no support and yet- they'll have become a huge tether here. One that I wouldn't want to hurt by CTB. So ultimately- it just sounds like a trap to me. The same goes really for forming any close connections now. I don't want more tethers here.

I just feel like a relationship would be waiting around for one another to let the other one down and- if we genuinely care about one another- all the concealment/ bluffing/ guilt we would go through during that.

I actually feel such a sense of relief being single now. Not having that other person to worry about worrying or not worrying about me. Plus, I don't look on even good relationships I've witnessed with envy. Couples are seemingly always bickering about the tinniest of things. I'm glad I'm free to make decisions for myself without all that crap.

As it happens, I'm not attractive anyway so, the chances of pulling someone would be slim regardless. It's also a relief not to have to put in effort there though too. I never enjoyed trying to look attractive.

I'm pretty lucky really that I have a vivid imagination too. I can imagine being with the most attentive, wonderful guy without the hassle of real life. I think my ideas in youth about love were very fairy tale. Maybe it can be like that at times but, the reality doesn't look to be that with the couples I've been around.

 

[Pluto]

 

[darksouls]

I gave up hope of having a loving partner a long time ago.
my ex-boyfriends treated me like trash.
they only used me as a sex object.
I feel exploited.
I hope their dicks will rot while they are still alive.

 

[Lions303]

Yes it could for sure. If a partner means giving up my peace & well being then hell nah

 

[Dejected 55]

For clarity... If you have problems, mental or otherwise, being in a relationship doesn't make those problems go away. Those are problems you already have and need to deal with... BUT... the right partner can make it easier for you to deal with your own problems too. With shared responsibility for all the other things, your burden can be lighter to allow more time to focus on healing yourself. Of course, you have to want to do that and your partner has to want to be there for you as needed.

 

[FoxSauce]

Not sure myself...I dont wanna hurt anyone yet, I feel a longing for companionship.

I have no idea where I stand. I dont cant my significant other to see me at my worst or deal with my intense emotions.

Plus, intimacy scares me

 

[noreason.toexist]

Great topic,

For me, (real) loved ones give me purpose. I am a little weird, I like to give. It fulfills me.
I am simple. When I love someone, I am there for them.

I have lost everyone, along with the things that were fun to me, which robbed my of my reasons to exist.
I've always been thinking about ctb, but I couldn't because of my loved ones. I could've never deeply hurt them just because I didn't want to be here anymore.

I don't think a partner alone will make me better, but it would give me purpose again. I feel like even though a partner can't fix you, they can give you the push to get out of the rut, allowing you to take action and improve.

I do long for it, I wouldn't mind living longer if there's another person that I can be there for and them being there for me. Although I am not searching actively, and I don't do much to get to know others. I couldn't even approach someone if I wanted to.

So I don't think that opportunity will present itself again.

 

[OvercastingClouds]

Hm, I don't know.

I know that I'm not mentally healthy enough to tackle a relationship right now, even if I constantly fantasize about it. The last thing I want is to drag my partner down and be a burden emotionally and mentally. It'd also be exhausting for me because I'm probably gonna be constantly overthinking and being insecure about myself and saying they should be with someone better and wondering why they would choose me out of everyone else.

I'm more worried about making friends than love. I haven't had a crush on someone since elementary school lol. I've become so depressed and insecure, anytime I see someone attractive I immediately shut myself and say that it would never happen so I shouldn't even try thinking about crushing on them, so I guess that's why. This is the result of bullying due to my appearance.

So the thought of a partner is nice, to imagine that is. However I just know that won't be reality for me but that's okay, I don't care too much. I'm too socially awkward I'd probably turn them away lol

 

[Zen0]

I don't mean sexually or whatever, ofc, i mean, would they make your life less painful, would you consider living for them? or at least not contemplating suicide?

ps sorry if i didn't make any sense i just woke up

It depends, yeah a partner could help shoulder the burdens of your pain and/or depression. But ultimately it won't make you happier, it'll just make you more reliant on them. You could choose to make that someone a reason for yourself to live. But that just means you're 1 bad fight or 1 big breakup away from ending it. Personally I don't want to get involved in relationships anymore, I've learned from my experiences that as long as I am the way I am, I won't be a good partner. But maybe you're different idk.

 

[R-7]

Assuming that it was healthy and both of us really did care for each other then it's possible that would cause a change.

It's a nice thought but perhaps not in the cards for me.

 

[MyShadow]

I don't mean sexually or whatever, ofc, i mean, would they make your life less painful, would you consider living for them? or at least not contemplating suicide?

ps sorry if i didn't make any sense i just woke up

I used to believe in love and in relationships. For years I thought I had a partner. I gave her everything I had and was loyal to a fault. But that love and loyalty made me blind to her red flags, so when she lied and ultimately betrayed me, I didn't see it coming.

If I am going to live for someone, I am going to live for myself because everyone else is doing the same. I will take my broken heart and my empty bed and focus on keeping myself safe.

 

[PI3.14]

In my current circumstances? I don't think so, but can't be sure.

Plus, I'll probably need a very loving and sympathetic partner, I don't want to experience more pain than I already have in my life.

 

[Irisse]

No, a partner can't delete traumatic memories and I'm paranoid in general with trust issues so there's no way I would trust someone at that level. And I'm asexual anyways (though not sure if I'm aromantic as well).

 

[Forveleth]

My current partner is half the reason I want to kill myself. He has shown me that when people say "I love you" they are doing it to manipulate and coerce you to live your life the way they want. They do not have your best interests in mind, which is what love is supposed to be. If I had never met him I most likely would not be here.

I know I could leave and find somebody who actually loves me the way you are supposed to be loved, but at this point death is more appealing.