
ExitiumVitae
Member
- Dec 14, 2021
- 50
Hello Internet!
Today is my last day.
I wanted to spend my two days talking to my ex-best friend who I had a falling out with, we were friends for 10 years. I was drunk yesterday and messaged her, I told her I wanted to talk to her one more time and that I wanted her e-mail. She just spent the whole time that she was talking to me asking questions and arguing about our past friendship. I had a nap and I was getting nightmares about her stopping me so I told her that I changed my mind and I'm not going to ctb.
I tried to get her to have a normal conversation, but she was being nothing but panicky and angry at me. I decided this is not how I want to spend my last day so I stopped talking to her. I really wanted to send her my suicide note and maybe even talk one more time, but that isn't happening because I got a message that said ''I'm a fool for wasting my time with you. I am so done.'' and blocked me.
On the one hand, I am so sad that I never could send her a suicide note and that our friendship ended on this note on the other hand it's a relieve that she won't stop me since that was the biggest reason why I regret contacting her. I think she thought that I was lying about passing away to manipulate her into talking to me, and sadly she will spend the rest of her life talking badly about me while I'm dead. But there is nothing I can do about it and I won't suffer from this anymore. I'd rather be thought of as a manipulative monster than being stopped from ctb.
Today is my last day.
I wanted to spend my two days talking to my ex-best friend who I had a falling out with, we were friends for 10 years. I was drunk yesterday and messaged her, I told her I wanted to talk to her one more time and that I wanted her e-mail. She just spent the whole time that she was talking to me asking questions and arguing about our past friendship. I had a nap and I was getting nightmares about her stopping me so I told her that I changed my mind and I'm not going to ctb.
I tried to get her to have a normal conversation, but she was being nothing but panicky and angry at me. I decided this is not how I want to spend my last day so I stopped talking to her. I really wanted to send her my suicide note and maybe even talk one more time, but that isn't happening because I got a message that said ''I'm a fool for wasting my time with you. I am so done.'' and blocked me.
On the one hand, I am so sad that I never could send her a suicide note and that our friendship ended on this note on the other hand it's a relieve that she won't stop me since that was the biggest reason why I regret contacting her. I think she thought that I was lying about passing away to manipulate her into talking to me, and sadly she will spend the rest of her life talking badly about me while I'm dead. But there is nothing I can do about it and I won't suffer from this anymore. I'd rather be thought of as a manipulative monster than being stopped from ctb.