Work or Die.

[Yasuke]

That's all life is anyways. It's all about working all day and I'm sick of it. There's no escape from this hell and you have no choice besides becoming homeless or starving. How can you even enjoy your life when everything is about working every single fucking day? It's not possible and I'm tired of people acting like it is.

I'm going to kill myself before I work a meaningless job for the next 40 to 50 years then have the luxury of being old and suffering on my death bed. You have to be absolutely insane to work every single day knowing it has no purpose but to survive in a world you don't even want to live in.

I rather die. I'm so close to getting over this primitive fear of the unknown. Anything but this wretched reality. I hope carbon monoxide works because that's what I'm doing no later than my birthday unless I find a way to be a pussy again when I know the only solution to this is to die.

 

[Esc9434]

Find a hobby, and dedicate yourself to that hobby.

Use the Internet to learn new skills to help you land better job.

 

[Painless_end]

I feel a lot like this. I am 30 and I hate full time jobs. How old are you ?

I've been feeling this way since my 1st ever job when I was 23.

 

[zeroambition]

You took the words right out of my mouth!

 

[Yasuke]

I feel a lot like this. I am 30 and I hate full time jobs. How old are you ?

I've been feeling this way since my 1st ever job when I was 23.

24 living at home had my first job at 23 too

You took the words right out of my mouth!

I can't deal with this world anymore and the shame doesn't help from people who work or mankind. And now I seem like an attention seeker or whatever since why don't you just do it instead of talking about it.

 

[theguineapigking]

Exactly. Society is f'd up. This world is f'd up. I'd rather die than be a wage slave(another term for working to survive). People that claim life is so good are just wired differently. They aren't smart enough to fathom what we understand.



I really hope I can ctb ASAP. I'm so tired of saying that and NOT ******* doing it.



You're not a pussy for backing out. It's normal to be scared of the unknown. It's human instinct. Human bodies suck dick. Just don't feel bad about yourself at all.

Hopefully everyone on this forum finds peace. I'm sick of seeing posts on here all the time because that means those people are suffering. Of course posting here can help people feel not so alone. But I wish nobody felt the need to use this website.


If only the world wasn't so shit...

 

[Yasuke]

Find a hobby, and dedicate yourself to that hobby.

Use the Internet to learn new skills to help you land better job.

I don't have one nor do I want one. All my hobbies aren't really profitable realistically nor do I have the motivation, desire, and will to do that. Even if I did muster the energy I would still be right in knowing that life is inherently meaningless since we all have to die anyways and life is just suffering at it's core.


Every job I tried or had made me instantly or eventually despondent. All jobs give me aniexty and I'm not really good at anything even basic skills so I have a massive fear of failure to even overcome just to work.

 

[waterbottleman]

That's all life is anyways. It's all about working all day and I'm sick of it. There's no escape from this hell and you have no choice besides becoming homeless or starving. How can you even enjoy your life when everything is about working every single fucking day? It's not possible and I'm tired of people acting like it is.

I'm going to kill myself before I work a meaningless job for the next 40 to 50 years than have the luxury of being old and suffering on my death bed. You have to be absolutely insane to work every single day knowing it has no purpose but to survive in a world you don't even want to live in.

I rather die. I'm so close to getting over this primitive fear of the unknown. Anything but this wretched reality. I hope carbon monoxide works because that's what I'm doing no later than my birthday unless I find a way to be a pussy again when I know the only solution to this is to die.

I feel the exact same way as you do.

I think I could tolerate living and working 40 hours per week with an IT job that I have little to no passion for if I actually had something to look forward to in my personal life but I don't.

I feel I'm really close to the end. My depression and chronic loneliness has completely consumed me. I have lost all my energy, motivation, I can't concentrate anymore, i have lost interest in almost everything that I used to be interested in, I have dropped virtually all my hobbies. I literally have nothing to live for.

For the past week I've been buying and reading books on suicide, and i relate to many people's experiences but there's one guy who I particularly relate to. The guy was a Golden Gate Bridge jumper and he supposedly wrote in a suicide note "If one person smiles at me I won't jump."

I am so lonely that on the rare events I see a woman acknowledge me, actually look at me, and smile or even initiate a "hello" it makes my day and for the rest of the day I'm happy, actually feel hope like life is worth living. But this is rare for me and almost never happens, I don't think it even happens to me once a month even though I go out in public every day in a crowded city. 99.9 percent of the time women walk past me without even looking at me, eyes deadpan straight ahead, it's depressing as hell.

I went out in public today for a couple of hours walking around, passed hundreds of people. Not a single person looked me in the eyes.

Guys acknowledge me more often, however it's always the same question of how I am doing and like everyone else I give the bullshit "good and how are you?" answer and they say "good" as well. It doesn't mean much to me when normal heterosexual masculine men talk to me.

However when I get attention from feminine gay men I can tell that also makes me feel a lot better as well.

I don't think it's being found attractive or desiring sex that I crave although I think that is part of it, but I think the biggest element of this is craving attention from people who have that feminine/nurturing aura to them. People who seem nurturing and affectionate naturally make you feel like you actually matter and they care about you. Women and gay guys who are feminine make me feel like that whereas normal masculine guys don't.

Idk maybe this sounds dumb to people but I can't help how I feel. I crave affection since it has been absent from my life for 99 percent of it. I crave affection more than sex by a long shot.

 

[kamakura]

I agree with you. Working in jobs which you find meaningless and unintellectual just to get a thin paycheque, so you can sustain your basic needs and survive to keep it going...hoping that sometime someday somehow it will just improve...most likely things won't change and you just bullshit yourself into believing that it will and finally realise you are 50-60. It is great if you study a subject you like (think neuroscience), work in that field and devote your time to that subject you think intellectual/meaningful, and make a decent living off that to raise a healthy family. If you don't fall into that group, work is indeed tiring/boring and life is meaningless.

 

[-L-]

I don't really post much on here, but this thread/post really resonated a lot with me.
I used to believe work actually meant something, and I was determined to work hard and be "successful" by this society's standards.
Now I'm just a burnt out NEET, but I am overall happier and a lot less stressed.

Life to me is like painting a picture, however when you finish it, the picture just gets burned and discarded.
It doesn't matter how much effort you put into it, it doesn't matter how beautiful it was, or anything else.
The end result is always the same.

So why take life or anything else for that matter so seriously or put tons of effort in, if the end result is always the same?
I could be a billion dollar CEO or a homeless junkie and the final outcome of either will always be the same. I will always die. And everyone who remembers my legacy, or lack there of will eventually die too. Everything will eventually die and be forgotten regardless, and that is outside of anything that can be controlled by you or me. And no amount of work, or lack thereof, will or could probably ever change that cycle.
And even if you could break the cycle of life and death, and live (and be remembered) forever why would you want to? Nothing we really do matters in the grand scheme of the universe anyway (as far as I can tell). We are just a spec of dust in an infinite void. But again that is only as far as I can tell, given my limited knowledge….

So I guess to sum up what I am trying to say.. Work doesn't matter in the bigger overall picture, however it does to our man-made society. We need work to keep all the services and things that a lot of people overlook and take for granted running.

For example: The computer or phone you wrote this post on, the internet or cellular connection, used to send the data, to the various ISP's, the servers used to host this site, the forum management software that powers this site, and even the mains power grids that supply power to all of the above, are just a few basic examples of why we "need" work in our society to maintain our current standard of living.
As sad as it is, all of these things require people to work in order to maintain.

Is work bullshit? Yes, however humans seem to want to continue to advancing, so from a purely human perspective it is a necessary evil even though none of it truly really ever mattered.


Anyway I think I am just rambling now, but I will mention some of the things that make me happy and give me some meaning and purpose in life.
I am trying to avoid suicide, and even make a sad attempt at "recovery" as I do have some goals and things I would like to do in my life for no other reason then just because I want to.
The main thing that gives me meaning and motivation to "try" is my family.
I also cut ties with some toxic people in my life which has improved my outlook on things.
Another thing that has helped me over the last few months is just good luck. I seem to just be having a lot of good luck and just overall good coincidences lately, it feels strange but for some reason things have just been pretty good and tolerable for me lately. So I am really happy and thankful for that.

Another thing that gave me a good perspective shift was this video:


Someone (I forgot who, sorry) posted it awhile back on here and that was how I came across it. So thank you to whom ever that was.
Although I'm not sure I really believe in this theory, I still find it humbling and fun to think about.
This video also removed a slight bit of the hatred I have towards humans, as I now just often think of a lot of them as just a little less developed lol.


Hope someone found something in this post insightful or helpful haha..

If you've made it this far thank you for reading my rambles.

-L-

 

[Inmyhands]

I agree. I've been working full time since I was about 19/20. I'm now 29 and I'm so tired. I'm not even old yet but I'm so exhausted. How on earth can I manage until I'm elderly? I've had enough of trying so hard and working so hard and getting nowhere. I've built up a good career but the money is low and intermittent. I don't have family, no partner and I don't want children, so what am I doing this all for? What is the point? Am I doing it for me? Because if that's the case, I don't want to live like this - living hand to mouth and being at the whim and mercy of my employers for the rest of my life. Living in constant fear of being let go (which is all too easy in my line of work).
As you say, there's no other way to live than just dedicating your life to your work. I read the other day "choose a job that you love and you'll never work a day in your life" and someone had changed it to say "choose a job that you love and you'll take every criticism deeply to heart, drive yourself into the ground because of your passion and also ultimately lose the love you had for it in the first place as a result". That got me in the gut. Even if we try to find a job we love, chances are that we will end up in a similar position anyway because of that fact. So only other options are effectively becoming homeless and/or starving. What a world we live in.
What you said really resonated with me and I felt compelled to respond.

Also, backing out doesn't make you a pu$$y, don't be ashamed about it. It's human nature and maybe there is some niggling hope deep down.
Do what you've got to do either way - we'll always be here for you on SS no matter what.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I've worked jobs i didn't like and it really was soul destroying i feel for those who have no choice but to do this. I've also had some great jobs that enriched my life so it can work both ways. Getting qualified/learning a skill may help towards getting a job you enjoy.

 

[kamakura]

I have worked in big and small firms...office work and nothing disgusting about them, but i just never enjoyed them and everyday i just felt being carried by trains and work like a soul-less production input to produce something that matter very little to anyone. Last job was better in that i actually enjoyed the work itself (say half of it) but politics totally turned me off. Barring those scientists, muscians, sportsmen, who actually can claim they are doing what they love and never work a day.

 

[Epsilon0]

@Yasuke

"There's no escape from this hell and you have no choice besides becoming homeless"



When I was in my 20's I worked for a year at a multinational company and I loathed every second of it: the workload, the inhumanity of my bosses and the constant push for profit.

One day I just quit. I felt like you do - rather starve or be homeless.

Now, work for me is the opposite of death. Work is what keeps me going, but that's because I am lucky enough to actually enjoy what I am is doing and I also have very nice co-workers.

 

[JSauter]

There are people that enjoy their jobs.. My father is 79 and still working -- he's self employed and has been working since he was 14. He had a long hospital stay and when he came home, he couldn't stand being in the house for more than 2 days without desperately trying to go back to work because he was "so bored". To them, it's quite the opposite - hell is not being busy with work.

 

[kamakura]

I thought about that a lot. I think work and interests are the subjective excuses to keep one alive by occupying one's mind. Unlike you are Steve Jobs, none of your work at the end has any objective value.

 

[andy69]

That's all life is anyways. It's all about working all day and I'm sick of it. There's no escape from this hell and you have no choice besides becoming homeless or starving. How can you even enjoy your life when everything is about working every single fucking day? It's not possible and I'm tired of people acting like it is.

I'm going to kill myself before I work a meaningless job for the next 40 to 50 years then have the luxury of being old and suffering on my death bed. You have to be absolutely insane to work every single day knowing it has no purpose but to survive in a world you don't even want to live in.

I rather die. I'm so close to getting over this primitive fear of the unknown. Anything but this wretched reality. I hope carbon monoxide works because that's what I'm doing no later than my birthday unless I find a way to be a pussy again when I know the only solution to this is to die.

I'm the opposite. I'm fifty and have been unemployed for a while. I would love for someone to give me a chance/opportunity.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I'm in the same feeling.

 

[Sunset Limited]

'It's that the world is basically a forced labor camp from which the workers—perfectly innocent—are led forth by lottery, a few each day, to be executed. I don't think this is just the way I see it. I think it's the way it is. Are there alternate views? Of course. Will any of them stand close scrutiny? No.'

From the movie Sunset Limited - Cormac McCarthy

 

[RainAndSadness]

I agree with you. My therapist just recently suggested that I need to find work... as a disabled person. Hilarious.

 

[Sunset Limited]

I thought about that a lot. I think work and interests are the subjective excuses to keep one alive by occupying one's mind. Unlike you are Steve Jobs, none of your work at the end has any objective value.

Absolutely. It's just a different drug. To test this, we can ask a question like this. How many people would continue to work even though they wouldn't get paid? Ninety-nine percent of people no! Living in this way is not a form of struggle. This is a surrender.

 

[Mr2005]

Life isn't to be enjoyed it's to be endured. Truth is I just can't be bothered

 

[Mistry420]

I've worked in the same office for 4 years and I'm struggling to return after being off sick. Same thing I don't want to work or do this job, I've always wanted to be a teacher or hairdresser somethin I enjoy and is equally rewarding
It's hard to take a career leap as it takes time and money to get there and it can be demotivating because bills need to be paid and I gotta Eat
But I totalllyyy F*CKING agreee !! I can't do this for another 40:50 years defo Part of my CTB reasoning, we can't continue unless we participate in this societal construct or don't work can't live

 

[Inmyhands]

It's hard to take a career leap as it takes time and money to get there and it can be demotivating because bills need to be paid and I gotta Eat

Exactly. It's okay if you've got financial stability/excess or a support network that can help you reach this goal, but if you don't (like 99% of people) then you're screwed and you're stuck in an area of work you don't want to be in for, potentially, the rest of your life. That's not living.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I agree. I've been working full time since I was about 19/20. I'm now 29 and I'm so tired. I'm not even old yet but I'm so exhausted. How on earth can I manage until I'm elderly? I've had enough of trying so hard and working so hard and getting nowhere. I've built up a good career but the money is low and intermittent. I don't have family, no partner and I don't want children, so what am I doing this all for? What is the point? Am I doing it for me? Because if that's the case, I don't want to live like this - living hand to mouth and being at the whim and mercy of my employers for the rest of my life. Living in constant fear of being let go (which is all too easy in my line of work).
As you say, there's no other way to live than just dedicating your life to your work. I read the other day "choose a job that you love and you'll never work a day in your life" and someone had changed it to say "choose a job that you love and you'll take every criticism deeply to heart, drive yourself into the ground because of your passion and also ultimately lose the love you had for it in the first place as a result". That got me in the gut. Even if we try to find a job we love, chances are that we will end up in a similar position anyway because of that fact. So only other options are effectively becoming homeless and/or starving. What a world we live in.
What you said really resonated with me and I felt compelled to respond.

Also, backing out doesn't make you a pu$$y, don't be ashamed about it. It's human nature and maybe there is some niggling hope deep down.
Do what you've got to do either way - we'll always be here for you on SS no matter what.

So true.

 

[Yasuke]

There are people that enjoy their jobs.. My father is 79 and still working -- he's self employed and has been working since he was 14. He had a long hospital stay and when he came home, he couldn't stand being in the house for more than 2 days without desperately trying to go back to work because he was "so bored". To them, it's quite the opposite - hell is not being busy with work.

Yeah i dont understand how everybody doesnt see it this way. I don't care that people want to survive if people see it this way they would just realize that we have to stop breeding and human suffering would just cease.

 

[TAW122]

That's all life is anyways. It's all about working all day and I'm sick of it. There's no escape from this hell and you have no choice besides becoming homeless or starving. How can you even enjoy your life when everything is about working every single fucking day? It's not possible and I'm tired of people acting like it is.

I'm going to kill myself before I work a meaningless job for the next 40 to 50 years then have the luxury of being old and suffering on my death bed. You have to be absolutely insane to work every single day knowing it has no purpose but to survive in a world you don't even want to live in.

I rather die. I'm so close to getting over this primitive fear of the unknown. Anything but this wretched reality. I hope carbon monoxide works because that's what I'm doing no later than my birthday unless I find a way to be a pussy again when I know the only solution to this is to die.

I can relate to you as well. I too, don't enjoy the prospect of working for almost another four decades (or more if retirement isn't an option or social security dries up by the time I'm 65-70 years of age) and then just die of old age and infirmity while being cared for at a hospice, or nursing home. That isn't something I wish to endure nor experience. Anyways, whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best and peace.

 

[Epsilon0]

I agree with you. My therapist just recently suggested that I need to find work... as a disabled person. Hilarious.

When my illness had reached a peak and left me unable to get out of bed or perform simple tasks such as making a sandwhich, I applied for disability. After a few weeks I received a call from the Insurance Company and they suggested I work as a phone salesperson, since "that does not require you to get out of bed".

I was left speechless... I felt anger like never before in my life.

Needless to say I retracted my application and vowed to never, ever beg for scraps from them again.

 

[Yasuke]

Exactly. It's okay if you've got financial stability/excess or a support network that can help you reach this goal, but if you don't (like 99% of people) then you're screwed and you're stuck in an area of work you don't want to be in for, potentially, the rest of your life. That's not living.

The thing bothers me the most is people are ok with just surviving measley.

 

[kamakura]

I was in the fortunate position that i didnt have to work for 3 years to study something i wanted, a position i always wanted to be in. I didnt feel much better. I realised life (self consciousness) is always going to be the same, hoping for the next stage eternally..the process goes on and on until you are old and die.