Women of SaSu: When did you first see males as a threat?

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Disclaimer: Men can be victims, and women can be perpetrators. There are so many nuances to this conversation, and I could take up dozens of posts talking about each one. In this post, however, I want to focus on those of us born female living in a society where violence by men, especially sexual violence, is prevalent. If you guys are interested, I'd be more than happy to do a post about male victims and/or female perpetrators.

So...

I've been afraid of men for as long as I can remember. Not random men walking down the street. Not daddy. Not my uncles or cousins. But I grew up in the era of stranger danger and I also lived in a household where shows like Cold Case Files and Law and Order were constantly playing. I remember being four and just...not wanting anything to do with men or boys. Even though I was a daddy's girl. Neither of my parents ever specified a gender when they told me strangers were bad. But I knew, deep down, without verbalizing it, without having to be told, that the real danger was men. I knew that if I was in the park and I approached a stranger, if the stranger was a mom pushing a baby stroller, it wouldn't have been a huge deal. If the stranger was a man standing alone at the edge of the park? Totally different story.

To be fair, young boys are also at risk of being overpowered by men. Adam Walsh and the victims of Westley Alan Dodd are prime examples. They also are taught stranger danger for their safety. But since I am female, I am focused on how it feels to be female and to perceive men.

The fear of men takes on a different dimension when you hit puberty. By now, I have interacted with a lot of males and have a certain comfort level with them. But now that I'm in puberty, I have a large pool of men seeing me as a potential sex partner. And now I can get pregnant. I was 11 when I first thought of what I would do if I were raped and got pregnant. And I was a minor in a rural state run by Republicans. Eleven. That's just wrong.

I'll close with a poem.

I remember being tiny
I was nonverbal then
I could sit under the tree
Just stay away from men

I came home after school
Watched TV in the den
But if someone knocks, you hide,
And stay away from men

I rode my bike downhill,
Picked cattails round the bend
My parents trust my friends
But stay away from men

My dad gave me an email
MySpace was hot back then
Play flash games with Hermoine
Just stay away from men

I realized I love parties
Hey there, how you been
I can dress the way I want
Just stay away from men

I'm home alone at night
Said 'I love you' to my kin
Lock the door and put your hood up
And stay away from men

I just got out of work
My mom needs me at ten
Dimly lit and dark and empty
Please stay away from men

 

[LaetumCat]

I was always a very girly girl, you know, the type to wear princess dresses and play with barbies, so I never much interacted with boys... I guess around 6 or so when I started elementary school, I started being scared of them. Two boys were "bullying" me (maybe bully is too strong of a word, they made fun of me when I didn't understand stuff and laughed at me). All through my elementary school boys would make fun of me verbally, so I just never talked to them because well... Why would I?
When I was like, 12 or so, I was pretty scared of boys, being in middle school and realising how many guys were actually pretty cruel, so I just hung out with girls.
At 13, I found an online friend on Instagram, a boy, and honestly I wanted to stop talking to him after I found out he was a boy (a few days after meeting him), but I decided to face my fear and continue talking to him. Even actually, I started talking to more boys, even irl, so by 15 I was completely okay with them. Of course, I still preferred talking to girls, but I didn't mind boys anymore.
Ah, I forgot to mention, I do have a younger brother, so, he was the only boy who I didn't mind growing up.

I'm now completely okay with talking to men, however I still talk to women more because I share more interests with them :3