Woke up thinking suicide

[Ch92921]

I woke up and thinking about suicide.

 

[Bone]

i have about 2-3 seconds before i think of it these days. its instant. is on my mind 24/7 now.

 

[bed]

i have about 2-3 seconds before i think of it these days. its instant. is on my mind 24/7 now.

same. Once my mind understands I'm awake, it's all downhill from there.

 

[Bone]

Yep. this is no way to live. somethings gonna give soon with me.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I think of it every day. It's just frustrating because it feels like I can't do it. But I'm sure I will do it sooner or later. No way am I going to continue enduring this humiliating hell for the rest of my 'natural lifespan'.

 

[Hateyouprolife]

Regular day for me. Althroug its usually 0.5-1 seconds after waking up I remember vowing myself to ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I always think about suicide as soon as I wake up. In the case of my life, wanting suicide is perfectly rational. All I want is to be free from this horrible existence and to be at peace. Nothing will ever make me want to live. I want nothing to do with this life. Suicide is the only way to end my suffering. I just wish it was easier to get there.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

the only time I don't think about suicide is the first few seconds before waking up and getting out of bed

 

[Beeper]

the only time I don't think about suicide is the first few seconds before waking up and getting out of bed

Same here. There is no escaping the thoughts of suicide, except sleep.

Nearly everything in my life is a reminder of how bad things have gotten.

On a good day I can distract myself with some task, usually helping someone else. But left to my own devices I revert to thoughts of ending my life.

 

[Emu]

As soon as I wake up suicide is there and just that constant longing for it

 

[Hercules]

Yes, it is the same for me. As soon as I wake Up in the morning, I start having thoughts of suicide In about 2 seconds. I know this is silly, but as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I realize I am still here, and I immediately become depressed, because the thought of having to live another day is just so painful. I have these suicidal thoughts all day long. I They never stop not even for a minute. The only time I can get some peace and be happy is when I am asleep. it has gotten so bad now, that even when I wake up in the middle of the night, I start having suicidal thoughts and have trouble falling back asleep. The worst part is I feel trapped. I really want to be gone, but deep down I am too chicken to do it. I just feel trapped
between life and death. I can't stand it anymore. It's like being mentally tortured everyday.

 

[Emu]

Yes, it is the same for me. As soon as I wake Up in the morning, I start having thoughts of suicide In about 2 seconds. I know this is silly, but as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I realize I am still here, and I immediately become depressed, because the thought of having to live another day is just so painful. I have these suicidal thoughts all day long. I They never stop not even for a minute. The only time I can get some peace and be happy is when I am asleep. it has gotten so bad now, that even when I wake up in the middle of the night, I start having suicidal thoughts and have trouble falling back asleep. The worst part is I feel trapped. I really want to be gone, but deep down I am too chicken to do it. I just feel trapped
between life and death. I can't stand it anymore. It's like being mentally tortured

I get this… I say this as soon as I open my eyes it's there, the trapped, being between life and death and the mental touture..
I'm sorry you feel it

 

[MeltedJello]

This happens to me everytime I wake up. I just want to die, and I'm tired of being alive.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Me too. Everything else is an utter void. I have nothing else to do actually. Just lying in bed. All day. I need to start planning my CTB. Getting N. It's just such an incredible hassle and I have so little motivation. I'll go for a 40 minute jog and then just crawl back into bed. If I get hungry and I don't have any food I'll try to find some. But other than that nothing.