With everything, an ending occurs. (A goodbye thread and my story) Content Warning// SA and SH

[LunaRose]

Hello. My name is Luna Rose and I live in California. Today is the date December 1st 2023 and it's 11:30 pm PST. This is goodbye as of when it's 6:30 AM PST tomorrow I will CTB using night night method. No one will be awake or home in that manner. But I know you probably want to ask one thing, what got you here. March 26 2023 my gf at the time had a seizure and died in her sleep. The last time I talked to her was when I said goodnight and I said I want to be with you till death. This devastated me and began my spiral downwards into where I am now. I remember her voice being so nice and soothing that night as he hugged and kissed. I still wish I never let her go from my living embrace. After this happened about 2 months later. One of my friends asked me out. Still devastated about her death I said yes thinking this could take my mind off of everything. It did not as the first week I stayed with him he got on me while I was half asleep and proceeded to fuck me without my consent. I wanted to scream and cry so fucking much and I told my sister about what happened over the phone. The next day I tried to forget about it and we were sitting on the couch. I close my eyes and I remember what happened and before I say anything I see him about to shove his cock down my throat. I open my eyes and told him no but he grabbed my throat and made me suck him. I left his house after the second night and drove my car as fast as possible wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. I heard nothing from him. Nothing else happened for about a couple months. I tried to kill myself after that night but my sister saw me and hugged me and asked if I was okay. Couple months later and I see him at my neighbors house. Turns out he moved in with my neighbor which is the person that I pretty much lived with. I flipped out but not that bad. The first week wasn't bad but after that he was very mad at everything and very sexual towards me and my neighbors Niece who is underaged. We found this out and planned to kick him out but the last day of his stay my neighbor saw him take my skirt off and spread my ass and start fucking me as I was sleeping. She recorded it to show the cops and they didn't do anything. This happened 3 weeks ago and I still am hurt from this and I want to throw myself into a ditch. After this my mind has gone into a spiral where I started planning on how I could die and last week I joined here and made my mind saying I'm going to do it. Tomorrow is December 2nd and that is my day. I will keep in touch either In dms or here. I am also going to ctb with the presence of the stuffed hydra plush my gf gave me before she died. I will update this thread till I die. Cya and I hope you all have a good life.
Luna

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im so sorry this has happened to you.. I can imagine the pain it has brought. I hope it will bring you peace and that you can see your gf again. Best wishes <3

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is awful. I hope that guy gets what's coming to him and I hope you find peace.

 

[F@#$]

I can't believe people, what the fuck is wrong with that motherfucker?

 

[ropearoundatree]

Jesus Mother-Fucking Christ

 

[etrnllxid]

What the fuck???

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find peace from all the suffering, best wishes with your plans.

 

[ropearoundatree]

Just thought I'd let you know that it's not your fault, and that I'm sorry you've had to suffer so… I know you in all likelihood realize this however, so that, even though it is a spectacularly shitty reason for you to be put in this position (that of one in which such crimes & atrocities have been done to you!) - I understand your reasoning. For it is you that is left to deal with all this trauma now. Best wishes to you, and my heart breaks for you~

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

I know you probably see people saying how sorry they are for you so I won't bore you with that. I hope you see your partner soon and I hope you both rest easy good luck on your journey

Hello. My name is Luna Rose and I live in California. Today is the date December 1st 2023 and it's 11:30 pm PST. This is goodbye as of when it's 6:30 AM PST tomorrow I will CTB using night night method. No one will be awake or home in that manner. But I know you probably want to ask one thing, what got you here. March 26 2023 my gf at the time had a seizure and died in her sleep. The last time I talked to her was when I said goodnight and I said I want to be with you till death. This devastated me and began my spiral downwards into where I am now. I remember her voice being so nice and soothing that night as he hugged and kissed. I still wish I never let her go from my living embrace. After this happened about 2 months later. One of my friends asked me out. Still devastated about her death I said yes thinking this could take my mind off of everything. It did not as the first week I stayed with him he got on me while I was half asleep and proceeded to fuck me without my consent. I wanted to scream and cry so fucking much and I told my sister about what happened over the phone. The next day I tried to forget about it and we were sitting on the couch. I close my eyes and I remember what happened and before I say anything I see him about to shove his cock down my throat. I open my eyes and told him no but he grabbed my throat and made me suck him. I left his house after the second night and drove my car as fast as possible wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. I heard nothing from him. Nothing else happened for about a couple months. I tried to kill myself after that night but my sister saw me and hugged me and asked if I was okay. Couple months later and I see him at my neighbors house. Turns out he moved in with my neighbor which is the person that I pretty much lived with. I flipped out but not that bad. The first week wasn't bad but after that he was very mad at everything and very sexual towards me and my neighbors Niece who is underaged. We found this out and planned to kick him out but the last day of his stay my neighbor saw him take my skirt off and spread my ass and start fucking me as I was sleeping. She recorded it to show the cops and they didn't do anything. This happened 3 weeks ago and I still am hurt from this and I want to throw myself into a ditch. After this my mind has gone into a spiral where I started planning on how I could die and last week I joined here and made my mind saying I'm going to do it. Tomorrow is December 2nd and that is my day. I will keep in touch either In dms or here. I am also going to ctb with the presence of the stuffed hydra plush my gf gave me before she died. I will update this thread till I die. Cya and I hope you all have a good life.
Luna

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry sorry that life brought you to this point. I hope you find peace!

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

It's horrible.
I can't put into words how much of a scum he is.
Have you thought about taking revenge on this scum before you die?

I wish you the best.
I hope you find peace.

 

[LunaRose]

I couldn't do it at 6:30 as people are home but I shall do it now. Shall keep you updated. I am now setting it up

 

[Kasumi]

..what everyone else already said, why are those people allowed to live,.. ruining the lives of others like that, I hope he experiences the same pain you had to endure.

and to you, I hope you'll be able to forget about everything on the other side.
the only good thing is that your precious girlfriend didn't have to experience any of this, hopefully you'll be able to see her again.
Safe travels ♡

 

[LunaRose]

The strap is around my neck
It's tightened. It feels like it's 2 clicks more. Is 2 hours a good amount of time to die?

 

[Kasumi]

The strap is around my neck
It's tightened. It feels like it's 2 clicks more. Is 2 hours a good amount of time to die?

as far as I know with anything that directly removes or blocks oxygen supply to the brain less than an hour should be plenty, inert gas usually goes with 40 mins.

 

[LunaRose]

SI made me take the ratchet off. I'll try again but this time I'll keep it out of reach.
I'm going to try tomorrow same time but earlier.

 

[tiger b]

Best wishes from me

 

[King Ashoka]

Some guys are literally just animals. They should be killed. Write his name in your suicide note. This will fuck his life.

We all deserve peace.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

If that happened 3 weeks ago and you prob gave a statement, can you call in to see if there's an update to see if it was assigned to a detective yet? Did it get stuck in backlog? I know chasing that won't take away your pain, but maybe you can save someone else. You deserve peace, but that AH doesn't.

 

[HerculePoirot]

SI made me take the ratchet off. I'll try again but this time I'll keep it out of reach.
I'm going to try tomorrow same time but earlier.

My very best wishes. Please make sure you leave a note with the name of your abuser(s).

 

[Abyssal]

Not to be that person, but if you feel it's not time there is no shame in backing out. Don't feel pressured to ctb if you aren't ready, we won't think less of you for it, after all many of us have experienced SI firsthand and know how shitty it can be. My pms are open if you wish to speak with someone.

That said, if you are determined to go through with it I wish you a peaceful farewell. It was brave of you to share your experience with us. Thank you, LunaRose, may you be reunited with your girlfriend once more.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

Not to be that person, but if you feel it's not time there is no shame in backing out. Don't feel pressured to ctb if you aren't ready, we won't think less of you for it, after all many of us have experienced SI firsthand and know how shitty it can be. My pms are open if you wish to speak with someone.

That said, if you are determined to go through with it I wish you a peaceful farewell. It was brave of you to share your experience with us. Thank you, LunaRose, may you be reunited with your girlfriend once more.

Couldn't have said it better myself

You have our support <3

 

[iusedtobehappy]

This is my first post. Hello everyone. I've been lurking for the last 7 weeks trying to find a method that isn't horrific.

Luna, I just want to say what everyone else has, that I'm so sorry someone screwed with you the way that guy did. You did not deserve that. If anyone should have a ratchet around his throat, it's him. It's hard enough to lose the person you love. My husband died unexpectedly a few years ago, so I totally get how that is enough on its own. I don't have magic words, except that I hope you find peace. Just know that none of that crap was your fault. You did nothing wrong. Just remember that.