wishing i never knew what life was like

[honeynmilk]

its so dark all the time, so empty. when i do find something, someone to live for i love it so hard, i want it all to myself. it feels so magical, but it burns out so quickly. im too much for them, they gte bored maybe, or i ruin it. i wish i could explain it better.
the anxiety waking up in the morning is almost like a reminder of all the things im so ashamed of, and that ctb is really the only way out. im sorry. im struggling to explain my feelings. cutting makes me feel better when its really bad, i cant afford uppers anymore so benzos help me fade out. im such a burden to my family. my real life is a secret to all of them. im scared what theyll find out when im gone .. but i dont think theyll be surprised. i dont know. i didnt think these thoughts would still be here after so many years.

just a vent post sorry guys...

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's true that anything someone sees as being positive only exists in this world to be taken away and cause them to suffer more, life is just too cruel like that and there seems to be no real relief from suffering in a world like this. But anyway, best wishes.

 

[Darkover]

so ture life just cause pain and suffering in this helllish world

 

[honeynmilk]

I think that it's true that anything someone sees as being positive only exists in this world to be taken away and cause them to suffer more, life is just too cruel like that and there seems to be no real relief from suffering in a world like this. But anyway, best wishes.

best wishes and love to u

so ture life just cause pain and suffering in this helllish world

wishing so much happiness for u :((