Wish i could stop thinking about this girl i met last week

[Hyd999]

I didnt even meet her in real life. I met her on a discussion board. We talked for like 4 hours the first night. I didnt want to get my hopes up that it would last so figured id see how it goes the next time we talk.

On the second night we talked for a good 5 hours. It felt amazing cus we had an amazing connection. I felt i truley loved her even tho we didnt meet and are very far apart in distance.

On night 3 she said she didnt feel well mentally and didnt want to talk much. I can relate to that so i didnt think anything of it.

Night 4 i asked her to talk about why she was so sad. She said cus her x was talking with her and she has feelings for him despite our connection. And she didnt want to make me sad.

Then she said she doesnt want to talk anymore but she wishes me the best.

unlike most people i genuinly believe she didnt want to hurt me. I think she got lonley just like i was

But now i want to kms more then ever. Its sad that i cant find a girl like her in real life. If i could my problems would be over. But i cant get her out of my mind and cant stop randomly crying cus i miss the connection we had.

I tried everything to get over her. I even went back on the site i met her on, and tried talking with others. But its not the same.

I want to die soooooooo badly that i cant even explain in words how much i want to be gone.

 

[jodes2]

Go on a daring site and look for someone else like that!!

 

[kat17383]

Go on a daring site and look for someone else like that!!

Lmao you clearly haven't tried to date on a dating site...

 

[leaf23]

I didnt even meet her in real life. I met her on a discussion board. We talked for like 4 hours the first night. I didnt want to get my hopes up that it would last so figured id see how it goes the next time we talk.

On the second night we talked for a good 5 hours. It felt amazing cus we had an amazing connection. I felt i truley loved her even tho we didnt meet and are very far apart in distance.

On night 3 she said she didnt feel well mentally and didnt want to talk much. I can relate to that so i didnt think anything of it.

Night 4 i asked her to talk about why she was so sad. She said cus her x was talking with her and she has feelings for him despite our connection. And she didnt want to make me sad.

Then she said she doesnt want to talk anymore but she wishes me the best.

unlike most people i genuinly believe she didnt want to hurt me. I think she got lonley just like i was

But now i want to kms more then ever. Its sad that i cant find a girl like her in real life. If i could my problems would be over. But i cant get her out of my mind and cant stop randomly crying cus i miss the connection we had.

I tried everything to get over her. I even went back on the site i met her on, and tried talking with others. But its not the same.

I want to die soooooooo badly that i cant even explain in words how much i want to be gone.

I'm so sorry for the way you're feeling. You probably already know this but it sounds like you're mourning your relationship with her, no matter how short or how tenuous or fragile that connection might be. Give yourself time to grieve. She sounded like a great person and your sadness in losing a connection to such a person is entirely understandable. I don't know if things will feel better for you, but one thing to remember is that she thinks her decision will make her happy. If you really like or love her, I think focusing on the thought that she'll be happy will someday make you, if not entirely happy, accepting of this entire situation too and you'll be able to move forward.

 

[Zegers]

Emotional poverty is definitely a problem, when you can barely relate, as soon as you meet someone you want a connection but this doesn't happen and you go back to square one.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

It's very easy to get attached when you're starved for affection.

I'm unsure if her intention was to hurt you and I don't know all the specifics, but you giving her your time and attention, just for her to sever ties with you when her ex comes calling, doesn't sit right with me. It sounds like the whole ex thing was potentially an excuse to 'ghost' you.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a horrible feeling.

 

[jodes2]

Lmao you clearly haven't tried to date on a dating site...

I certainly have! You just have to play the numbers game. Go on multiple dating sites, go through every profile, and repeat for as long as it takes!

 

[Zegers]

I certainly have! You just have to play the numbers game. Go on multiple dating sites, go through every profile, and repeat for as long as it takes!

People here barely have a drop of energy to get out of bed, you think they are going to have the energy to experiment like a techie on those crappy apps.

 

[jodes2]

People here barely have a drop of energy to get out of bed, you think they are going to have the energy to experiment like a techie on those crappy apps.

Once you get going it's not so bad. It becomes repetitive and easier. I did it when I was depressed and managed ok. You form a script in your mind and it becomes pretty easy

 

[Zegers]

Once you get going it's not so bad

Dating apps and results depend largely on your physique and energy to keep it up, you probably don't have a problem with that.

 

[jodes2]

Dating apps and results depend largely on your physique and energy to keep it up, you probably don't have a problem with that.

I had awful self confidence! And had great trouble looking after myself. I had deep depression and crippling social anxiety. But if you set boundaries, and make a bit of an effort when required now and again, it's doable. One trick is to realise that you're not superman and you need some degree of flexibility from people. If they're not accepting of you right now with what you can do, then it's just not going to work with them right now, and move on. No harm done. Don't take rejections personally, play the numbers. You want to select people based in compatibility with YOU. Be yourself, the best you can be at the time, and if that's not enough for someone, that's fine. Move on, they're not right for YOU. Don't feel like meeting up or talking right away? Be honest! Rule them out if you have to. Can't get yourself to have a shower? Fine! Just do the best you can for the day, accept your limits, set your boundaries. Just don't give up! Have a break, fine, but don't give up. We all just need to meet the right people. Understanding people. Often, people who have been in a similar position. It's just a numbers game

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think the reality is that people are disappointing and you just cannot trust and rely on them. People just create more suffering so of course it's for the best to be alone. The truth is that humans are responsible for so much of the torment that sadly exists in this world and it's just so incredibly unfair how many people suffer so much all through no fault of their own.

 

[violetchiwawa]

I didnt even meet her in real life. I met her on a discussion board. We talked for like 4 hours the first night. I didnt want to get my hopes up that it would last so figured id see how it goes the next time we talk.

On the second night we talked for a good 5 hours. It felt amazing cus we had an amazing connection. I felt i truley loved her even tho we didnt meet and are very far apart in distance.

On night 3 she said she didnt feel well mentally and didnt want to talk much. I can relate to that so i didnt think anything of it.

Night 4 i asked her to talk about why she was so sad. She said cus her x was talking with her and she has feelings for him despite our connection. And she didnt want to make me sad.

Then she said she doesnt want to talk anymore but she wishes me the best.

unlike most people i genuinly believe she didnt want to hurt me. I think she got lonley just like i was

But now i want to kms more then ever. Its sad that i cant find a girl like her in real life. If i could my problems would be over. But i cant get her out of my mind and cant stop randomly crying cus i miss the connection we had.

I tried everything to get over her. I even went back on the site i met her on, and tried talking with others. But its not the same.

I want to die soooooooo badly that i cant even explain in words how much i want to be gone.

I think you should consider yourself lucky. Maybe I'm wrong but I feel as though you'll recover from this much quicker than you think. You were only talking for 4-5 days. You may face an initial grieving period but I'd say within a week it will taper off.

Try this exercise: imagine what could've gone wrong. I think it'll help especially to imagine scenarios regarding her ex and how he could've gotten in the way of your relationship.

Furthermore. Study bogus personality archetypes, if you don't mind. Are they sort of pseudoscience? Yeah ! But they'll teach you more about yourself and ALSO about the people you're more likely to get along with. I recommend Myers-Briggs and enneagram, mainly. (Please don't make either one of these systems your personality you're a full human being not a neat little category).

I hope you get better soon.