Venting wish I could blow my brains out

[KleinerWolf]

It would be so amazing if I can get a handgun.

Cyanide/N/SN + handgun is my ideal way to kill myself.

I want the blood to splatter and drain down my face.
Dying with poison doesn’t seem to do me justice yet I’m not gonna slit my artery, jump off a building nor will I consider train method, they are a little too violent for me.

I want a handgun so bad.

Pfft, fantasizing again.
Hope my SN at least come through.

spare me from all this bs.

These last few weeks are hell,
filled with frustration, anxiety and despair.

 

[sadworld]

I hope everything works out for you. You seem to be very desperate.

Best wishes!

 

[KleinerWolf]

I hope everything works out for you. You seem to be very desperate.

Best wishes!

Thanks dude.
I hope it works out too.

not desperate per se,
I have a rope in my luggage but I don’t trust suspension hanging.

I’ll wait and hope for the best that my SN saves the days..

 

[Ghost2211]

Your situation seems really frustrating. I can relate to having to wait for an inevitable. Hopefully SN works out.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Seems very dramatic.

My desire is to go as quietly as possible. I'm thinking about taking my tent and finding a secluded spot in a nearby national park where I'll eventually be discovered by a farmer or dog walker. They won't see very much if I'm in my sleeping bag so hopefully won't traumatise them.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Seems very dramatic.

My desire is to go as quietly as possible. I'm thinking about taking my tent and finding a secluded spot in a nearby national park where I'll eventually be discovered by a farmer or dog walker. They won't see very much if I'm in my sleeping bag so hopefully won't traumatise them.

Without notifying anyone how do they know there’s someone who died inside? are you gonna draw on the outside of tent or something

imo the less the body decompose, the better.
I’ll be using delayed email.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'd also like to get a gun but it's soooo hard.
I guess the rope will be my only ally to CTB.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Without notifying anyone how do they know there’s someone who died inside?

are you gonna draw on the outside of tent or something

I'll be unresponsive and it will smell.

I'll take my passport and next-of-kin details with me so I can be identified (a brother I've not been in contact with for a long time).

 

[KleinerWolf]

I'll be unresponsive and it will smell.

I'll take my passport and next-of-kin details with me so I can be identified (a brother I've not been in contact with for a long time).

Seems difficult to identify people at a later stage of decomposition.

Nonetheless we’ll be dead.

but make sure the secluded place has no wild animal that will attack u though. That’s a concern.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Seems difficult to identify people at a later stage of decomposition.

Nonetheless we’ll be dead.

but make sure the secluded place has no wild animal that will attack u though. That’s a concern.

We don't really have dangerous animals in the UK. Cows are actually the most dangerous animals by death rate and that's because of mother cows protecting their young. I don't think we have anything that would eat me through a tent.

My brother lives a long way away so he wouldn't be identifying the body anyway. I just meant identified in a more general way.

 

[KleinerWolf]

We don't really have dangerous animals in the UK. Cows are actually the most dangerous animals by death rate and that's because of mother cows protecting their young.

My brother lives a long way away so he wouldn't be identifying the body anyway. I just meant identified in a more general way.

Oh UK is okay.
If u live in North America, or eastern EU, or Africa,
I would recommend against dying in the wild..

 

[Meditation guide]

These last few weeks are hell,
filled with frustration, anxiety and despair.

You and me both buddy. I hadn't cried in years and now it's every day. I never thought I could gun myself but now it's different and I would do it immediately if I could. BLAM!!!

 

[KleinerWolf]

You and me both buddy. I hadn't cried in years and now it's every day. I never thought I could gun myself but now it's different and I would do it immediately if I could. BLAM!!!

*hugs* for you, meditation

Emotions and feelings are rather intense when people considers suicide to a greater extent.

I haven’t felt anything for a long time and I still feel nothing.
Kinda numbed out, but my despair is there, for sure.

 

[Meditation guide]

*hugs* for you, meditation

Emotions and feelings are rather intense when people considers suicide to a greater extent.

I haven’t felt anything for a long time and I still feel nothing.
Kind numbed out, but despair is there, for sure.

I've been numbed out too for years but since being here, gradually I am now feeling all the pent up emotions I've suppressed and it's not pretty.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I've been numbed out too for years but since being here, gradually I am now feeling all the pent up emotions I've suppressed and it's not pretty.

I like the saying “What goes up must comes down” without its negative tone.

 

[bov]

Seems very dramatic.

My desire is to go as quietly as possible. I'm thinking about taking my tent and finding a secluded spot in a nearby national park where I'll eventually be discovered by a farmer or dog walker. They won't see very much if I'm in my sleeping bag so hopefully won't traumatise them.

CO?

 

[Disco Biscuit]

CO?

SN. I got it before the recent crackdown.