Wish for me

[woxihuanni]

Dear SS family, please, please wish for me that I am not thrown away like trash and driven to die. Please, each of you in your own ways. I am so scared and forlorn. Those who were here might remember last November my partner was about to throw me out, and caught me about to drink poison. They seem to be planning the same thing, in a worse way. They are not acting on their own will but AF's. It is a person they cannot break co-dependency and master-slave relation with. Please wish for me that that plan does not come to fruition. I don't want to die. I want to live so much. I want to bake, I haven't seen the southern star yet, I want to swim again. I don't want to die.

 

[Ghost2211]

Sending you hopes, best wishes, and love. i can see how trapped you feel. I wish there was more help I could offer Than sympathy. Be safe and well

 

[woxihuanni]

Sending you hopes, best wishes, and love. i can see how trapped you feel. I wish there was more help I could offer Than sympathy. Be safe and well

Thank you, it means a lot...

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

wishing you the best and peace in the future. i'm so sorry you're in this awful situation.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Here is hoping and praying your situation changes and you get all the things you wish and want. Stay as strong as you can. Sending you love

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I also hope and pray that things turn around for you, for what it's worth..

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

So if I understand correctly, you are a slave to somenone who is a slave to someone else.

I've never asked but I've always wondered: What prohibits you from getting out of this situation?

Of course no demand or expectation that you answer.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish you happiness.

 

[whywere]

I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. You are very special to me as a sanctioned suicide global family member. Please take care of yourself. Sending all the love in the world to you.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Sending a prayer your way.

 

[XYZ]

I love your posts! Not just the few conversations we've had, but also your old ones. And I love seeing your (Chinese?!) user name (perhaps you could tell me what it means).

If my words can offer you a little strength, please know they come from the heart:

Keep on fighting! You deserve to live, if that is what you want. You deserve to bake again. You deserve to swim again. You deserve to smile and be happy. Don't go gentle into that night. Fight! Chin up!

(Hugs)

 

[woxihuanni]

So if I understand correctly, you are a slave to somenone who is a slave to someone else.

I've never asked but I've always wondered: What prohibits you from getting out of this situation?

Of course no demand or expectation that you answer.

I gave up literally everything to marry this person. They could break away from their slavery without consequences other than facing what situation they have been in. For me, walking away is only walking into abyss. I do acknowledge the situation, unlike them...

 

[Deleted member 14573]

I'm hoping things turn out the way you want them to

 

[miguel6565]

I will wish you peace love

 

[grungeCat]

I wish you would succeed in anything you want to achieve. I would love to help you and be a support for you and your partner but due to my social disability I would only make things worse. Just know I wish you as strong as I can. I hope you two will be happy again!

 

[woxihuanni]

I wish you would succeed in anything you want to achieve. I would love to help you and be a support for you and your partner but due to my social disability I would only make things worse. Just know I wish you as strong as I can. I hope you two will be happy again!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart...

 

[grungeCat]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart...

You're welcome, my sweetheart! I don't know if 'sweetheart' is a proper term for such a situation because I don't speak English very well. Yet I feel I understand it enough well I can help a little bit. But in such a situation I believe my English is, well, good enough but my social skills won't make me able to support you. I'm a terrible speaker. I wish, as f*****g strong as I can, that you would find happinesss with your husband. It's such a pain I cannot help you. I would really LOVE to help you. But I can't.

 

[Soul]

@woxihuanni, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this again. I don't know what you mean by "AF's" (in your first post) but whoever it is who's pressuring your partner should stand the fuck back and let the two of you deal with your relationship. You can quote me on that! (((Hug)))

 

[woxihuanni]

You're welcome, my sweetheart! I don't know if 'sweetheart' is a proper term for such a situation because I don't speak English very well. Yet I feel I understand it enough well I can help a little bit. But in such a situation I believe my English is, well, good enough but my social skills won't make me able to support you. I'm a terrible speaker. I wish, as f*****g strong as I can, that you would find happinesss with your husband. It's such a pain I cannot help you. I would really LOVE to help you. But I can't.

'sweetheart' is lovely, and your English is perfectly clear. You already help by being so kind to me, thank you. I wish everything works out in the ways you desire and need, too...

@woxihuanni, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this again. I don't know what you mean by "AF's" (in your first post) but whoever it is who's pressuring your partner should stand the fuck back and let the two of you deal with your relationship. You can quote me on that! (((Hug)))

Thank you... A.F. is just the initials of this person. I have this mental picture of you going up to them and saying this It makes me happy.

 

[bluejane]

Message me if you need anything at all. Im sending you my love.

 

[woxihuanni]

Message me if you need anything at all. Im sending you my love.

Thank you so much

 

[AprilsBlessings]

i wish you all the best sending you love and light

 

[woxihuanni]

Thank you everyone, update: They told me to die again. They are very dissociated and dearly wish me to die, that's all. A.F. gave fresh orders last night. We were going to have dinner and look at the stars, but A.F. told them to be quick about killing me.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. You don't deserve to be treated that way or be told that you deserve to die. I wish that there was something more I could do to help other than try to offer a few words of comfort. Message me if you need to chat

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. You don't deserve to be treated that way or be told that you deserve to die. I wish that there was something more I could do to help other than try to offer a few words of comfort. Message me if you need to chat

Thank you so much, all that helps now is to talk. There is little I can do, hardly know what to do with myself.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

If talking helps then you can talk as much as you like. We're here to listen

 

[woxihuanni]

If talking helps then you can talk as much as you like. We're here to listen

When I take a break from wishing A.F. drops dead, I remember to wish I knew how to break a dissociative state. Because without dissociation, I don't know how they sit down to eat my bread when we have just talker about how I am going to be dead by october latest.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Is AF an identity that your partner takes on when in a dissociative state?

 

[woxihuanni]

It is a person he gives up his agency to. My guess it that, since AF's orders are to get rid of me and getting rid of me means my death, they find dissociation the only way to cope. They'd rather dissociate and kill than say no to AF.

Search me why they are a slave like this. I know I am controlled as well, but I have been trapped. I didn't know what I got myself into, now there is no way out. They could just walk away. It is not that they can have sex or get married or anything. AF is with somebody else, whilst simultaneously forbidding my partner from marrying anyone.

My head hurts.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Are you in a position where there's a chance of you being physically hurt by AF?