Winter's effect on depression and mental health... Just confirms I want to CTB

[BeautifulMosaics]

Yeah.. It's getting darker and I'm getting those same feelings again. Depression but also mostly anxiety and phobias that stop me from going outside as much as I want. I won't describe the phobias but it's not related to winter, just that winter and not being able to see makes it worse. The colder weather and my bad memories of this itchy, nerve level skin thing I sometimes get that causes so much heightened panic and anxiety that I'm literally rushing home and pulling down my trousers at the front door; clawing at my skin so badly you can see the scratch marks. It's all so horrible and no way to live life.

Before I had decided I was going to ctb, I'd feel so much dread and fear, knowing I'd have to suffer those feelings always at the back of my mind - never being able to relax and live normally. But now I know I've decided to ctb, I feel okay. I've accept I'm going to ctb and tbh winter coming around just confirms it. Who wants to live like this? It will never fully go away.

I will never be normal. I don't want those anxieties and fears in my mind - that weight. I've accepted that I will selfishly have to make this decision - but these are my experiences that I'm going to have to tolerate.

Before I thought if I could move to a sunny country it could be a remedy, but I don't even want that anymore. I don't have the interest or the passion or fire. It's sad.. But I'm glad I've given myself this permission to ctb and not be so hard on myself.

Feel free to share your experiences of winter's effect on your mood.

 

[FuneralCry]

Seasons do not affect me that much, I feel the same amount of hopelessness all year round. However I really hate the heat, it is very unpleasant. I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Hurt]

I've been feeling suicidal and depressed for year no matter the season. Sometimes I feel more suicidal and sometimes I feel less suicidal. Hope you can feel better.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I feel depressed regardless of the seasons. But I prefer winter because it just suits me more. Winter is soothing in a way for me.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I have an incurable skin disease which gives me alot of discomfort and itchiness. No one understands how a skin disease can ruin your life and make you almost like disabled.

 

[Lifessocruel]

Winters bloody awful for me, working outside alot and not able to play one of the sports that keeps me going tennis, I think it's unlikely I'll survive it! And same i don't think even if i moved to the Bahamas it wouldn't change me much.
Depression is awful! I didn't sign upto this shit

 

[z1000j3wz2]

google SAD (seasonal affective disorder). very popularly diagnosed condition - something to do with the light levels!

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

google SAD (seasonal affective disorder). very popularly diagnosed condition - something to do with the light levels!

Yeah I've heard about that My issues are mostly to do with going outside so I'm not sure if SAD applies however. I'll stick look into it though x