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Will you say goodbye to your friends?
Thread starterlavenderlilylies
Start date
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Don't have anyone I could say goodbye to anymore due to self sabotage and general mental illness, but when I did I always leaned towards not saying anything. When imagining myself as the bereaved, I feel like I would be the type of person to become mentally obsessed with the final conversation just to see if I could've done more, and live in what-if scenario's for the rest of my life, never finding closure. Same thing with leaving a detailed note or text. I always thought it'd be best to just leave a short note saying that you love them, you're sorry and that there was absolutely nothing they could've done to save you, and leave it at that.
Reactions:
eggsausagerice, Who_I_Am, darksouls and 2 others
Don't have anyone I could say goodbye to anymore due to self sabotage and general mental illness, but when I did I always leaned towards not saying anything. When imagining myself as the bereaved, I feel like I would be the type of person to become mentally obsessed with the final conversation just to see if I could've done more, and live in what-if scenario's for the rest of my life, never finding closure. Same thing with leaving a detailed note or text. I always thought it'd be best to just leave a short note saying that you love them, you're sorry and that there was absolutely nothing they could've done to save you, and leave it at that.
Thank you for giving me a different perspective. As for me, I imagine I'd be more hung up over not having a final conversation I could get back to when they're gone. Although I think that's more due to the fact that my only friend is more of an online one, so i have very few actual memories with them
i think that, and this is something me and my other suicidal friend have talked about a lot, that i will at least leave them something since they are the closest person to me in my life, even with my delusions of "i dont have friends actually".
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eggsausagerice, Redacted24 and lavenderlilylies
No, I won't. When mine happens it will be abrupt. That's the only way I can deal with SI.
Too much planning and thinking is what causes failures in my opinion. Gives us too much time to ruminate.
A single scheduled message to my mother. That's it. She's in touch with my friends as well, so they're going to know through her at some later point. I'm sure she won't tell them that I took my own life. She'll probably tell them it's an accident or something lol.
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EmptyBottle, darksouls, Redacted24 and 1 other person
My mother and sister are against sinful acts so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Voted IDK, since we don't live together, the best I would do is message them an "I love you, but I just can't anymore" on D-day.
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EmptyBottle, Redacted24, bankai and 1 other person
No. Mainly because I don't want to put that stress or burden on any of them if I decide to CTB. Nor do I want anyone interfering with my plans. With SI, its hard enough to go through with this, giving people hints would make it even more difficult.
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brokencookie, lavenderlilylies, EmptyBottle and 4 others
No. It'll only cause them pain and worry and they'd try to stop me. I can't prevent the pain my death might cause them but I can prevent any suffering from knowing that I'm going to die soon.
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lavenderlilylies, knickknack81 and Redacted24
no, i don't see any point.
I don't have friends, only maybe one but he is just as suicidal, he knows and he will go about his life i think.
my family? absolutely not. for what? why? what's the point? they didn't care and they never will. i don't have anything to say anymore, i am so empty and exhausted i don't even have thoughts anymore.
i will probably leave my money on the table or something so they can pay for the cremation, then throw my ashes out in the trash or i don't even care anymore yeah i would actually prefer if they could just throw it away
no memories of me are needed
i am so worthless and disgusting, not a single soul should remember my existence in any way. they won't probably, they never loved or liked me
i dont see much point in saying goodbye. if anything i feel like it makes it worse, there's a helplessness to it that just feels cruel to push onto someone else. i love my friends very much but it feels easier to let them just find out after the fact. i may be biased though given my method is dependent on not being found until im fully dead.
the only circumstance i think you'd really need to say goodbye to someone is if they'd have no way of finding out otherwise.
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brokencookie, lavenderlilylies and Redacted24
It's sad really but I won't be able to say goodbye to the few people I enjoyed in my life, they will report me and track me down, and then I'll be stuck in this existence. If I could yes, because if I value people, I'll value them til the day I die, but because they don't value my choice, ig I can't risk that…
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lavenderlilylies, bankai, edelhide and 2 others
It's sad really but I won't be able to say goodbye to the few people I enjoyed in my life, they will report me and track me down, and then I'll be stuck in this existence. If I could yes, because if I value people, I'll value them til the day I die, but because they don't value my choice, ig I can't risk that…
Yes. It is too bad that suicide can't be accepted. It would be better for the person leaving and the people staying I'll there could be a good set of conversations before hand. But there cant
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brokencookie, lavenderlilylies, 33K1LLM3 and 1 other person
Wont be directly telling anyone, but I will be leaving notes and even a few gifts for my girlfriend. I really dont want to tell anyone right before I ctb because I know they would lose their mind searching for me.
The explanation is the worst part and most of the time it ends up being an interagation. Or they will guilt the ctber for doing it, or even not leaving a note. The note is something way too many people Think they deserve.
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lavenderlilylies, usernamesarehard and Forveleth
I already have my goodbye letter ready. I'm going to send it went I'm at the point of no return. Like I just ingested the poison and will probably pass out soon.
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lavenderlilylies, 33K1LLM3 and EmptyBottle
No, I imagine they might try to stop me or experience massive anxiety over what they should do. Some know I was suicidal from childhood so- it shouldn't come as a total surprise. Others know suicide is a real possibility in the future. I felt that was the fairest thing to do- allow them to choose whether they still wanted to stay in touch. But no, I expect my end moments to be alone. Thank goodness we are able to connect here. That's some comfort.
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brokencookie, lavenderlilylies and tanshakti
Back in 2019 or so, I would have and even thought about letters and stuff, but after 2020 or beyond, I've since changed my mind and stance. This is partially because of the effort and time invested into preparing that and then on top of planning, executing, and also fighting my own SI among other things... So in short, no I wouldn't and also in addition to that, the risk of intervention should things go awry and revealing my information unnecessarily, just too risky. Finally, what happens after death has no bearing on me, it's irrelevant for me. If people are judgy or come to the wrong conclusion either way, there is nothing I can do to influence that, so basically it's more work for nothing at all and irrelevant mostly...
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