Discussion Will you leave behind a lot of pain?

[dogemn]

I know my death would cause my mother the most immense grief imaginable and I'm absolutely horrified by that prospect. I'm experiencing grief after losing a friend recently and now I know how terrible it can feel, so I want to do everything I can to try to stay alive.

 

[BurntToCinders]

It's a really hard concept to think about. On the one hand, I personally feel really selfish, but on the other hand I have enough faith in my loved ones that they'll be able to move on. If you want to stay alive, then I'd avoid rationalizing or mental gymnasting your way out of understanding the pain you'll leave behind.
My condolences for hearing you lost your friend, it's never easy. Just know you're not alone.

 

[ZeroRedz02]

I know my death would cause my mother the most immense grief imaginable and I'm absolutely horrified by that prospect. I'm experiencing grief after losing a friend recently and now I know how terrible it can feel, so I want to do everything I can to try to stay alive.

It's not about sentimental pain but.. If i had alot of physical pain and was extremely bad, my mind wouldn't have thought twice about taking itself out.

 

[HaircutHaircut]

I know my death would cause my mother the most immense grief imaginable and I'm absolutely horrified by that prospect. I'm experiencing grief after losing a friend recently and now I know how terrible it can feel, so I want to do everything I can to try to stay alive.

I'm struggling with this as well. I feel somewhat trapped.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm also trying to avoid causing that pain to my Dad. After him though, I feel like the balance will tip in my favour- to feel able to go. Partly because I've purposefully drifted away from other people.

 

[hdead]

I'm teetering between being guilt-tripped and being somewhat understood. It's a crazy limbo I find myself in, but ultimately it should be my decision to make.

To hang around because other people wouldn't be able to handle the grief means asking myself to be miserable for people who don't even bother to ask me how I am feeling or how they can help me. It's one empty advice after another cliche. I'm tired. It's been years of trying to move around in the world and talking, conflict and misunderstanding. Even the ones supposedly closest to me are starting to feel quite distant. It's a lonely journey to be on and a scary one at that.

Concluding: I'll for sure fuck up my mom if I make the decision. My dad will talk a bunch of crap about me, he will be sad but likely just angry and bitter with a fabricated story about me.

All the others will likely shed a tear, but it's probably moreso for their own feelings of guilt and remorse. I doubt somebody would understand and feel peaceful about it.

My grandmother passed from euthanasia. It was sad to see her go, but I found myself being really at peace with that.

My grandfather died when I was young. I was balling my eyes out but as the years passed I've come to realize that the reason I'm sad about it are for selfish reasons. Only recently I started to think about how his experience must have been as he was passing.

Grief,to me, is something selfish, most of the time. I'd like to be at peace.

 

[ZwartHartje]

No, I'll only leave my own pain behind me, finally. My loved ones have all been killed, there's no one here for me anymore.
I have only one friend here "in real life", like myself she connects more easily to other animals than to humans. We both have found so many dead animals at the park, and most others who simply vanished, so I'm sure one more animal dead and gone (myself) won't make much of a difference to her. She's mentally much stronger than me but also much older, and we already talked about it and she may ultimately decide to do the same (CTB).
Else I only have a few online friends who very rarely talk to me.
So at least this is one thing I don't need to worry about.

 

[TAW122]

Very likely, yes. However, I'm well past the point of giving two shits, for personal and philosophical reasons. I never accepted nor tacitly agreed to come into existence (in reality, no living organism or being chose or consented to be conceived), and also my relationship with my parents aren't the best. I wouldn't be just leaving pain for the sake of spite, but mainly because I am going to avoid suffering unnecessarily and the longer I keep deferring, postponing, or enduring, the more pain I face. I've reached a point where I'm just so over it and done with all the mess that sentience (along with future problems) has to offer.

 

[tiramisu]

no one would think of me or miss me.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I know people will grieve me, but I know also that they will be able to move past it quickly and carry on with their lives as though I was never there to begin with, or maybe it will be a painful memory they try to avoid. It would still take months for anyone to notice though, I think. I guess they only really care after you're gone. I don't think it is fair for someone to carry on in so much pain out of the need to shield others from it. That should not be a burden one has to carry.

 

[m4rlboror3d]

I know my death would cause my mother the most immense grief imaginable and I'm absolutely horrified by that prospect. I'm experiencing grief after losing a friend recently and now I know how terrible it can feel, so I want to do everything I can to try to stay alive.

I feel like I'm being very selfish in this situation. I know that my suicide would cause a lot of pain to my family especially after my mother killed herself less than two years ago. But I also don't want to keep living with the pain of losing her. So I'd rather be selfish, because once I'm dead, I won't have to see my family suffering. I don't know if that makes sense.

 

[Minfilia]

it comforts me more to think that i won't. not like there will be anyone to mourn except maybe for my mom, but she is surrounded by many who love her including my siblings. i know she will be okay and i know she'll understand when the time comes. i really don't think it's fair for her to watch me struggle everyday and constantly in multiple ways. i've given so much and never received anything back so i'd like to be "selfish" for once and get myself the peace i deserve.

 

[TheShadowQueen]

Sadly I will but I've accepted that

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

Yeah but ive accepted that, at the end of the day people must accept other people's choices

 

[Kokonoe]

no. i have no one to even notice i'm gone, let alone miss me or feel hurt.

i'll be leaving behind all of my own pain, though, and that's all that really matters.

 

[lilb0wpeep]

It may but I don't think my departing will leave behind any more, or equal, or even close as to how much pain I deal with being here.

 

[GirlOfThought06]

That's the sole reason I can't get the balls to commit suicide lol is the fact that my parents would be devastated. They know I'm struggling and they've been trying to help but when you're so fucked up there's nothing that can be done
I wish they'd stop trying to help me and forget about me so I can just fucking die already

 

[hurts2b]

I don't know. Maybe. I suspect it'd be hard on 2 people in particular. Other than that though I don't have much of a social circle. So whether the impact would be large or not is. A matter of opinion.

 

[StarryEyed]

I don't think anyone close to me will feel much pain because the ones close to me know I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for decades now, and that my physical and mental health just keeps getting worse. So I think the lack of surprise will prevent their pain. I'm not doing this to hurt anyone, and if that's their reaction, that's their decision. I can't own someone else's feelings or thoughts. They are responsible for their own reaction.

 

[Passenger4224]

My parents will be completely destroyed, and I love that, because I strongly resent them.

My bestie will also be very hurt though, and I guess maybe some other friends will care too, so I'm sad about that. But I believe in putting myself first. I already spent my whole life trying to make others happy (and failing miserably).