will you leave a note?

[weakandscared]

With both my attempts i wrote one but next time i don't think i will. it just seems pointless and like, annoying i guess. the note would go to my mom, she already knows why im doing it and she knows i'll do it at some point, so i probably should just go with no extras like that. they don't need another explanation or to hear that i love them, because they won't believe me. it's not like i'll regret not leaving one.

 

[Ksmиda]

100%. The last thing I want is to have a funeral or be buried - so I'm going to leave instructions for my body. I will also leave a note explaining what to do with my various things, so that they don't go to waste and so there won't be any arguments about it. I'm not going to write a note explaining why I did it. The most I'll probably write it that it was my own choice to ctb and that nobody forced or convinced me to do it, so that nobody gets in trouble.
In the end, you don't have to write a note, but it would be helpful to at least leave instructions if you care about that kind of stuff.

 

[rottenflesh]

i'll leave one saying i want a goth grave

 

[FuneralCry]

If I had the option to reliably die in peace I would write a note explaining that non-existence was all I wished for and I had no interest in decaying from age in this undesirable existence where there is endless potential to suffer.

 

[weakandscared]

100%. The last thing I want is to have a funeral or be buried - so I'm going to leave instructions for my body. I will also leave a note explaining what to do with my various things, so that they don't go to waste and so there won't be any arguments about it. I'm not going to write a note explaining why I did it. The most I'll probably write it that it was my own choice to ctb and that nobody forced or convinced me to do it, so that nobody gets in trouble.
In the end, you don't have to write a note, but it would be helpful to at least leave instructions if you care about that kind of stuff.

i was thinking about writing in the note to donate all my clothes and belongings (not to brag they're just cool and i know someone would be happy to find them) but im just imagining them finding me and reading that and thinking no wtf we don't care about your clothes. i also wanted to leave my credit card and pin number saying use my money to pay for my cremation. i don't wanna be buried but if i do i won't know so it doesn't matter. do you think they'd even bother packing up my clothes and donating them? i don't want a funeral either but if i said that they wouldn't listen. they'll probably use ugly pictures of me too and spread lies about me

 

[LunarLight]

I would definitely write a note to my partner. I think they deserve to have something of me they can keep with them for the rest of their lie. Telling how much I love them, and that it's not their fault. Maybe write a poem. I wanna be buried with a love poem they wrote for me, and I'd be happy if they did the same fifty years later.

Spoiler: The poem ("rinds")

Here is the poem they wrote for me. They write so beautifully... I cried a lot when they gave it to me.

a hazy coffee on the terrace
under a leafy lemon tree
you taste sour sweet to me

summer mornings, humid, endless
my feet on your chair
sun on your skin, pink and fair

a million burning thoughts
overheating power cords between us
while cool roots emerge beneath us

as the day goes on, we melt
become one in the shade of the foilage
intricately pleating then carefully
unrolling

drink me in, swallow me down
won't you follow me
home

 

[BlankFace]

No.

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

I'm leaving instructions behind but not any kinds of personal messages. I really don't have anything to say.

 

[weakandscared]

I'm leaving instructions behind but not any kinds of personal messages. I really don't have anything to say.

what instructions?

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

what instructions?

In my country there is something called The White Archive, which you fill in and then it's being sent to a person of your choice after you've been registered as dead. It gives you the option to inform your next of kin about anything from your favorite colour to how you want your funeral, to your life secrets to your bank account number. I've filled in that I don't want a funeral reception, what I want to happen to my cat (and instructions about his personality, daily routines, favorite foods etc), my bank account details, my insurances, that I don't want to be cremeted, the Discord account names of online friends I want to be notified of my death and that I want to be buried within my city.

 

[Agon321]

Nope.
I don't even know what I could write.

If I die, I probably won't care what other people think anymore.

I would like to be cremated and theoretically I could "ask" for it, but I don't want to complicate things even more.

I have my reasons for CTB and I don't want to write about them at the end.
I don't need to examine my conscience, attack anyone, or anything.

 

[weakandscared]

In my country there is something called The White Archive, which you fill in and then it's being sent to a person of your choice after you've been registered as dead. It gives you the option to inform your next of kin about anything from your favorite colour to how you want your funeral, to your life secrets to your bank account number. I've filled in that I don't want a funeral reception, what I want to happen to my cat (and instructions about his personality, daily routines, favorite foods etc), my bank account details, my insurances, that I don't want to be cremeted, the Discord account names of online friends I want to be notified of my death and that I want to be buried within my city.

why don't you want to be cremated? i guess i just don't want my physical form to even exist after im dead i want to be completely gone

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

why don't you want to be cremated? i guess i just don't want my physical form to even exist after im dead i want to be completely gone

It feels inhumane to me. I remember when I had to put my cat down and I choose cremeation - because I had to. I had no means for a proper burial and it was a horrible experience knowing that my boy was being burned in an oven and then have his bones ground up by complete - and propably completely uncaring - strangers, when I wanted to wrap him in blankets and let him rest somewhere safetly. That experience made me dead set (no pun intended) of never wanting to be cremated. I like the idea of being consumed by the earth until nothing remains of me. How are you thinking about it?

 

[weakandscared]

It feels inhumane to me. I remember when I had to put my cat down and I choose cremeation - because I had to. I had no means for a proper burial and it was a horrible experience knowing that my boy was being burned in an oven and then have his ground up by complete - and propably completely uncaring - strangers, when I wanted to wrap him in blankets and let him rest somewhere safetly. That experience made me dead set (no pun intended) of never wanting to be cremated. I like the idea of being consumed by the earth until nothing remains of me. How are you thinking about it?

Well yeah but that's a cat that's something you'd want to be remembered. i don't want to be remembered or seen at all. not even a grave or funeral. if it was up to me my ashes would be dumped in the trash

 

[LifelessStranger]

No, will leave them guessing. But still I will write "cremate me" just in case.

 

[paroxysm]

most likely not. i have nothing to say and i want to get out of here as soon as possible.

 

[arthurkuzechov]

I have no one to leave a note and no one cares about me. Yeah, maybe after as police will find my body they will call my "mother", and she will bury my body… But to be honest I don't even know if she will really do it. So I hope that government will bury my body so I won't leave a note. My taxes is my "note" to the gov

 

[Chronosphere]

Leave some cash for landlord and a note saying "for cleaning services".

 

[divinemistress87]

Yea, just nobody blames themselves

 

[offbalance]

With both my attempts i wrote one but next time i don't think i will. it just seems pointless and like, annoying i guess. the note would go to my mom, she already knows why im doing it and she knows i'll do it at some point, so i probably should just go with no extras like that. they don't need another explanation or to hear that i love them, because they won't believe me. it's not like i'll regret not leaving one.

Yes, I'm leaving short but sweet notes to a couple close friends.

 

[billie]

I won't leave a note

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I'm leaving a note for family with anecdotes to make them cry; a note for the coroner detailing why I want(ed) to Ctb; a note for friends thanking them; and a note to wider society complaining about the absence of assisted suicide.

 

[sserafim]

No because I have nothing to say. "All my love is gone."

 

[BackToLobby]

Yes but just 1 page. In the front part I explain why I'm so tired and mad and in the back I wrote like 5 different psychologist's number and location for family therapy.

 

[donnie]

When I tried a long time ago I didn't leave a note. When I try again one day I think I will, but it will be short. I'll say I'm sorry, but I won't explain why because I can't really explain it. I just wasn't what anyone needed me to be.

 

[NoFutureAnymore]

Yes, I would. I don't want anybody to feel guilty. A big part of my problems is probably just caused by my character, so no need for blaming.

 

[samicitchka]

I would definitely write a note to my partner. I think they deserve to have something of me they can keep with them for the rest of their lie. Telling how much I love them, and that it's not their fault. Maybe write a poem. I wanna be buried with a love poem they wrote for me, and I'd be happy if they did the same fifty years later.

Spoiler: The poem ("rinds")

Here is the poem they wrote for me. They write so beautifully... I cried a lot when they gave it to me.

a hazy coffee on the terrace
under a leafy lemon tree
you taste sour sweet to me

summer mornings, humid, endless
my feet on your chair
sun on your skin, pink and fair

a million burning thoughts
overheating power cords between us
while cool roots emerge beneath us

as the day goes on, we melt
become one in the shade of the foilage
intricately pleating then carefully
unrolling

drink me in, swallow me down
won't you follow me
home

This is what I am struggling with the most. Writing a letter to my partner of almost 20 years.

 

[Helween]

Prolly sending a message to my "ex" to explain why just before CTB, for me its obvious but i dont know if she could understand, since i'm acting like everything is okay.

 

[thealteredmind]

yes, 2 notes.
the first one is a short one: a quick one, why I did it, some instructions, etc. intended to be readen in the moment, they will be shocked and stressed so it must be short.

the second one: it will be long, how long? I don't know. so far I have 20 pages but those 20 pages are things that need to be expanded so I think it could be easily 100 pages? like a small book. intended to be readen some time after, when every one is ready. on this one I give a detailed explanation of the WHY. I want to complete answer the "why did the do it?" and "why didn't he ask for help?"

 

[melancholymallory03]

For funeral arrangements , and distribution of my belongings yes,

I don't want people mishandling , and I want my stuff to go to those in need. All of it. And none of it sold …. Or bargained … I want my family to have clear instructions for my passing.

I also want to give a bit of a description , OR video diary to display my mental state.
I have been making video diaries on my laptop in my worst moments so if it's ever found , they can get an insight into how tormented and confused, and deeply sad I was feeling, and trapped. I don't want to traumatized them though, so not going to let them find this, if they want they can try to unlock my computer.

Also never liked the idea of cremation , I want to be buried so I really want them to know that I wouldn't appreciate being made into a necklace and such , not judging those who do that… but my family has a real liking for these sentiments and I am glad they are… but my wishes are to be in the ground.