Will You Be Missed?

[Username1359751]

Those of you who are really considering CTB or plan to, will you have at least one person (in real life, not online friends) who will be hurt, to find out you CTB?
Truthfully... as I know we all have family/friends who we think do not care, or won't, so I want you to take a second and answer realistically. Thanks

 

[ADBoy777]

Expect for my family I have 1 good friend that I know gonna take it badly.

Actually my family are the reason I'm still here I know they will never be the same after that. I support them a lot mentally and physically

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My mom, my two sisters, my mom's friend, my other relatives (including my grandma, all my aunts, uncles, and cousins), at least seven of my friends, a few of my coworkers, and maybe more people I forgot about would likely miss me when I CTB. They will probably mourn and grieve my death and some may never get over it. Some may go on to do terrible things to themselves or other people in retaliation. Some might want to follow me into the void and thus cause more grief and suffering as a result. And that's just in real life.

I'm well aware of how loved and appreciated I am. I know I have plenty of friends who enjoy my company and family members who depend on me. The thing is, I don't really care about them all that much. I haven't truly cared for any other person the way I have cared for the past women I've fancied. Does this make me selfish? Of course it does. Does it make me evil? You bet your sweet bippy I am.

Eight and a half years ago, my heart and soul were broken from my second love interest getting a boyfriend even though she initially showed interest in me. Is this reason stupid and petty? Absolutely. The fact that such an idiotic premise was enough to break me just goes to show how unfit for life I am since I haven't been able to fully move on since and even when I've tried to move on it's just failed in even more increasingly horrifyingly ridiculous ways. If I don't CTB soon I will probably add a fifth female human to this repertoire to be tortured by my interest at some point and the most I can do to prevent this future woman's suffering is to eliminate myself before she can even meet me. I'd say that's worth the sacrifice all those other people I listed will have to bear but if it isn't then I'm stupid enough to say I don't care. They can miss me all they want but I won't miss having to be alive just to ruin someone else's life yet again.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Only by family so yes but I care more about myself than my family. My peace is more important than their desire to make me a wage slave

 

[Catch-22]

No, not by anyone... maybe my cat

 

[EmptyHeaded]

No, there is no one who would care.

 

[Kalista]

family is cut off for more than a decade now because of their toxicity and abuse. absolutely zero family in contact with. friends are all gone because they thought me to be the sole problem every time an issue comes up even though there's evidence of the opposite, so i cut them all off as well. one roommate i very rarely speak to and vice versa. for the most part we leave each other alone.
only one person said she'll miss me even if no one else would, but that's most likely gone now as she eventually removed and/or blocked me from every platform we shared contacts on. she knows about the plan to kill myself.

so, no. there's no one that would miss me. no one has reached out or actively checks up on me. that's as real as it can get. that's why i have to send a scheduled email to someone just to make sure my body is found as absolutely no one will ever check until it starts rotting in my bed room.

 

[Agon321]

Yes

 

[ExistenceIsCruel]

Personally, I think it´s common sense they would. Actually i thought of making a note where I would say "I hope you all hated me as much as i hated you all" or smth like that to persuade them into forgiving me even though I don´t really feel that way but at the end I wouldn´t care at all

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes. Not by a huge amount of people and for many of them, it will be the idea of who I was or- who I used to be at least. I haven't seen a lot of them in 5, 10, even 20 years so- realistically, just how much can you miss someone who hasn't been around for that long?!!

Not sure if any more is meant by this though? As in- people will miss you so, don't do it? When parents have children, do they ask themselves the same? Do they think- I wonder if my child will be sad to watch me fall ill and die. I wonder if they themselves will suffer at the end and fear their own death? I wonder if they think about that at all. I guess not. I guess they just hope they will have a lot of happy times together before that happens and that we'll somehow accept everything else.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I seriously doubt it. I've been a burden to society since I was 8.

 

[alicia]

Yes, unfortunately

 

[Username1359751]

I seriously doubt it. I've been a burden to society since I was 8.

Same, mostly.

 

[Arachno]

I like to think that I'm such a burden that no one will mourn me but I guess it's inevitable that my family is going to mourn me, but I don't think anyone outside of my family is going to be seriously affected by my death.

 

[Username1359751]

Yes. Not by a huge amount of people and for many of them, it will be the idea of who I was or- who I used to be at least. I haven't seen a lot of them in 5, 10, even 20 years so- realistically, just how much can you miss someone who hasn't been around for that long?!!

Not sure if any more is meant by this though? As in- people will miss you so, don't do it? When parents have children, do they ask themselves the same? Do they think- I wonder if my child will be sad to watch me fall ill and die. I wonder if they themselves will suffer at the end and fear their own death? I wonder if they think about that at all. I guess not. I guess they just hope they will have a lot of happy times together before that happens and that we'll somehow accept everything else.

That's up to you; it's open to interpretation as I didn't elaborate my reasoning for asking. I don't have to. My reasons are personal if you must must know.
If you question why I ask, then why bother to answer?

Also comparing us and CTB to parents wondering how their children to receive their death is incomparable: it's apples and oranges. Parents wondering how their children would take their death comes with the territory as parent; it's a natural plausible circumstance. Suicide isn't natural. So it you're going to switch the roles, the real question from a parent would be, "How woukd my suicide affect my children?"

It's really a very simple poll.

 

[lostintheloop]

My immediate family likely will. But overtime they will be relieved and glad I'm gone. They'll realise a huge burden has been lifted and that it's for the best.

 

[callofthevoid_]

aside from my family, i think i might as well have already died to most people since i stopped showing up. But I know my family loves me, i know my death would hurt them a lot

 

[LunarLight]

Yes, my partner, definitely.

 

[Saturn_]

My dad would miss me. Doubt my mom and sister or anyone else would care that much.

 

[derpyderpins]

Wish I wouldn't be, but yeah. Parents and SO. I have a lot of friends but who knows if they'd really miss me or notice if I disappeared.

 

[LostinTime24]

Parents will have to pretend to be but we haven't been close for years and barely speak now. Maybe some friends but since I've become mentally ill it seems they've moved on from me. Not to make them seem like bad people just reality I don't fit in with them anymore.

 

[permanently tired]

family is cut off for more than a decade now because of their toxicity and abuse. absolutely zero family in contact with. friends are all gone because they thought me to be the sole problem every time an issue comes up even though there's evidence of the opposite, so i cut them all off as well. one roommate i very rarely speak to and vice versa. for the most part we leave each other alone.
only one person said she'll miss me even if no one else would, but that's most likely gone now as she eventually removed and/or blocked me from every platform we shared contacts on. she knows about the plan to kill myself.

so, no. there's no one that would miss me. no one has reached out or actively checks up on me. that's as real as it can get. that's why i have to send a scheduled email to someone just to make sure my body is found as absolutely no one will ever check until it starts rotting in my bed room.

This probably doesn't mean much since we've never met irl, but I will miss you. I don't make my presence known bc I figure you wouldn't like it. I do check your socials to see how you are from afar. Whatever decision you make, I wish you the best. Truly.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

My death will not even be noticed, and as l haven't been able to find anyone willing to accept and scatter the ashes of myself and my 2 staffies l know that my ghost is doomed to haunt all the places l knew in life!

 

[NEVberten]

My mom definitely, but I honestly am starting to not give a fuck. I've tried to get her to know me better and tell her what she can do to support me and help me feel more "happy" but she regrets me (being a fag and with mental illness). And she just threatens to attempt in front of me when ever I talk about it.

My partner to but my comment is to long already lol

 

[soulsing]

Probably my birds. I'm the only one that cleans their cage properly and takes care of them because too many people think budgerigars are accessories.
I can just get them a new home and they'll be fine.

 

[ctbcat]

mm. i think some people will. but i also hate some of the people who'll miss me's guts, so...

the only person that tugs on my heartstrings when i think about that is this one girl i became friends with last yr. she's a real sweet girl, and she vaguely knows i'm suicidal, struggle a lot, etc... i'm very flawed and yet she stays, finds comfort in me... i feel terrible thinking of how it'll effect her. not enough to make me not want to die, but yanno. she's the only person who's made me feel that sort of accepted in a long while

my cats'll miss me but their lifespans are short - if there's an afterlife, i can pet them like we're both alive again

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Wish that weren't the case and that I'd be forgotten as soon as I'm gone but definitely family.

 

[QuiteTired]

Yes my family but what else can I do I hope god will forgive me

 

[Sprite_Geist]

There are currently 3 family members who will be upset by my suicide, but this is only because they are wired to feel this way. Outside of my family, though, it is unlikely that any of the acquaintances I have will be upset too much, and even if they are, it will be feigned sadness for a few days before going back to their own lives.

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

I'm thinking there might be 5 people that will mourn my death for an incredibly short time, and then everyone will move on like nothing ever happened. 2 will probably blame themselves but it'a not like they could've done much.