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Starryeyes

Starryeyes

Experienced
Sep 22, 2021
237
Any occasion where I'm expected to pretend I'm happy means I'm fucking miserable on the inside. Oh family eh
 
VoidDesirer22

VoidDesirer22

A dream inside a locked room
Sep 6, 2021
673
Spending Christmas poor. I like New years, though because it doesn't come with expectations of gift-giving.
 
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
I think this Christmas will be worse. I gave up everything. In the previous years, I had some hope. Yes, I was suicidal, but I thought life may get better!! not anymore
 
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WrongPlaceWrongTime

WrongPlaceWrongTime

Better never to have been
Jul 4, 2021
695
I'll be spending it knowing I bombed a uni semester, other than that it will probably be the same as any other christmas, spent alone.
 
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M

massiveblackhole

Student
Sep 4, 2020
102
ugh christmas is awful i see nothing good about it- the blatant consumerism, the road and shoppers rage, the stress. panic and pressure of trying to prepare and trying to act like nothing is wrong with you, the excuses you have to give to family about why you dont have a partner or children, the tedium of putting up with family you dont like or the crushing loneliness of not having anyone to spend christmas with, the awful music and movies.

New Years is equally depressing everyone getting drunk and hungover. Or being alone with no one to celebrate with, no friends to go out with. The reminder that you've wasted another fucking year.

The worst for me is my birthday though. I will probably kill myself on my birthday. Can be my Happy Death Day. Seems fitting.
 
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L

LoveTakesManyForms

Student
Sep 9, 2021
175
Well I just got off the phone to my Mum who is dying of cancer, whose advice caused a health condition that ruined my life at 21, hence my depression.
She told me that if I didn't have anything positive to say she didn't want to speak to me. I understand, but it means I can't be real.
My twin brother doesn't speak to me anymore because I'm depressed. Used to be my best friend.
My Father won't acknowledge any of his wrongdoing and just sweeps everything under the rug.
My friends are good people but I am disconnected from them due to my chronically ill health.

I have absolutely nothing to look forward to anymore. There's nobody I can speak to and nothing I can do to fix any of the terrible damage.
I've got nothing to offer anyone and there's nothing in this life for me.
It won't be a good Christmas as I won't be here tomorrow. I'm finally done with suffering for some tiny mistakes I made in adolescence.
I wish it didn't have to come to this but I'm powerless over the situation.

I love you all, and hope your Christmas is better than hanging yourself in the closet.
 
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S

Sky66

Member
Dec 15, 2021
54
I always loved Christmas. This will be a bad Christmas. It will remind me of the great life I had.
 
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Justsogone

Justsogone

An unlived life
Dec 14, 2021
100
It's just another empty Xmas, I do not care
 
T

trulyfeelhopeless

Member
Dec 13, 2021
36
People always use to say "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year" this time of year, but New Year´s Day is the deadliest day of the year because people commit suicide, partly because they are tormented by loneliness. Not everyone will have a merry Christmas 2021 and especially not us on Sanctioned Suicide. Do you want to die for Christmas or New Year? Will the Christmas of 2021 be a bad Christmas for you?


View attachment 79978
Yes if I could I would've been gone in the last two months
 
erdbeeren

erdbeeren

Student
Oct 13, 2021
100
People always use to say "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year" this time of year, but New Year´s Day is the deadliest day of the year because people commit suicide, partly because they are tormented by loneliness. Not everyone will have a merry Christmas 2021 and especially not us on Sanctioned Suicide. Do you want to die for Christmas or New Year? Will the Christmas of 2021 be a bad Christmas for you?


View attachment 79978
Christmas no longer feels special. It's just going to be another Saturday. This will likely be my last one as well.
 
S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
I wish I didn't have to go, but I can't avoid it - I'm here until sometime in January at least. I'm dreading it but I'll get through it.
 
StarryStarry

StarryStarry

Cat Lady
Oct 25, 2021
749
Yes, this is really tough for me. No job, no money, soon to be homeless (I'll be ctb before this happens). Miss my little girl so bad ..... Can't stop crying. Wish someone would just hold me and tell me things will be alright, but I know that will never happen. Sad, just really sad.
 
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K

Kennish

Specialist
Aug 17, 2021
379
I hate the cold. More than anything. And yes. Nothing has changed. Still lonely. Still fucked in life. Still bored as fuck. Still same problems with my body and my clothes. I hope things will change. I really do.

I envy people who just live life. I hate it has to be like this.
 
lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,470
Same shit different year.
 
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NormaJeane

NormaJeane

Member
Mar 24, 2021
648
The worst time of the year to be alone is at Christmas and New Year - do you agree?
 
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Adamsnolife

Adamsnolife

Specialist
May 5, 2020
395
I'm alone for Xmas. Hopefully this is the last Christmas now. Could not bear future ones now.
 
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B

Bleak

Student
Nov 10, 2021
178
Each one is worse than the last.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,644
I'm being left alone at home by the housemate who was using me and leading me on. I asked him to stop leading me on the other day and he said why, when it's so much fun.

He's going with him mum to his friend who had invited me before he ditched me days before my birthday. He has also just said to me that I am just a tenant.

Two nights ago he told me he loved me while trying it on with me. I didn't fall for it this time.

I do still have feelings for him, but his cruelty and lying is abhorrent. When he ran his hands all over me and told me we could still hook up...while he knows I love him.

Yesterday he wished me merry Christmas while knowing I was alone. I'm spending today tidying my room when he leaves the house. Hopefully soon.

People are telling me to move out and I don't know where to go...

I don't know if I can stay living here when he upsets me so often and is so thoughtless. But there is nowhere to live with mental illness. So....lol... the next episode in this soap opera.

Obs I'm also going to get wasted.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,471
i've not done to bad this christmas better than last year i've received 300£ worth of gifts,but my health is worse this year not really feeling up to it but i'm still spending christmas at my sisters with 8 others we're having roast lamb with all the trimmings today, also i only spent £50 on one person this year my nepthew he's 8, got him a pocket go hand held game console Maxresdefault
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,918
It always is. Bad people and bad family and materialism and stupid little fucking games.

Anger. Anger above and beyond. I just threw my idiot mothers urn across a yard. Nothing ever gets better and little punk ass fuck faces just ruin everything for everyone. They steal and lie and say "well too bad."

Well too bad I guess. Might as well just OD and get dead because everyone else is happy and I'm the person everyone destroyed from the inside out to just be mean and "laugh at" as if it's funny.

No matter how "nice" I was or anything else people just lie and steal and hurt me however they can so it's not like it matters at this point.
 
WantToQuit

WantToQuit

Game over!
Oct 15, 2021
37
This year has been far most the worst form me ever, including Christmas. I hope that the next Christmas I won't be there anymore.
 
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Callie Arcale

Callie Arcale

It’s a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing
Feb 10, 2021
852
Yes. Rock bottom.
 
WaterHemlock

WaterHemlock

Student
Dec 18, 2019
112
It's a bad one.
One way or another I swear to God I will never have another Christmas alone.
 
greyautumnsky

greyautumnsky

I am wound like the guts of a clock,
Dec 9, 2021
37
It was a good one. I thought it would be a bad one though.
 
Enigmatic Sailor

Enigmatic Sailor

vicissitudes of fate...
Oct 29, 2021
386
I slept the entire fucking day on Christmas. 7 a.m to 7 p.m. I look at it as a day of rest now.