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sunbleachedflies

sunbleachedflies

If it is meant to be then it will be.
May 1, 2024
21
I am a complete failure, a collection of "almost" and "could've been". I couldn't live with this anymore. However, I feel this constant immense guilt for wanting to ctb. I have support from family and friends. They have always been around. My parents & extended family care for me. I have friends I can count on. But for this, I could not be honest to them about my struggle. 2 of my friends know, but not the severity of it. I cannot stop thinking about ctb. I look for methods, I "plan" what I will do.. but I could not get rid of this guilt and shame of wanting to do it.
 
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Abyssal

Abyssal

Kill me
Nov 26, 2023
1,276
They could, it's what many people do when someone takes their life, but if you ask me that outlook is from people I would never enjoy being alive to see.
 
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Frem

Frem

Member
May 5, 2024
8
They won't hate you but it's very possible for them to hate themself for not noticing things, not being good enough and stuff like that. If you have supportive environment than try talking with them about it if you're not sure about pulling the trigger on this one. Just be aware that depending on their believes and country you live in they may try to put you into a mental hospital for some time which may or may not help you depending again on the country but also yourself and your luck towards getting good and carrying stuff there. If you're scared of being locked there try talking with family about therapy or just rot away until you will rot away their feelings.
 
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sunbleachedflies

sunbleachedflies

If it is meant to be then it will be.
May 1, 2024
21
They could, it's what many people do when someone takes their life, but if you ask me that outlook is from people I would never enjoy being alive to see.
You make a valid point. I am just worried they would not understand. I do not want to shift the emotional burden from me to them.
They won't hate you but it's very possible for them to hate themself for not noticing things, not being good enough and stuff like that. If you have supportive environment than try talking with them about it if you're not sure about pulling the trigger on this one. Just be aware that depending on their believes and country you live in they may try to put you into a mental hospital for some time which may or may not help you depending again on the country but also yourself and your luck towards getting good and carrying stuff there. If you're scared of being locked there try talking with family about therapy or just rot away until you will rot away their feelings.
Thank you for the advice. I truly appreciate it :)
 
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L

lupussucks224

Member
Apr 18, 2024
12
It won't matter bc you'll b dead
 
shelterwhereisleep

shelterwhereisleep

Member
May 6, 2024
53
I assume mine will be angry. I hope they don't hate me. It was never about hurting them.
 
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karmaisabitch

karmaisabitch

Mage
Mar 25, 2024
570
It will cause them trauma so they will never be normal again!
 
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Yuki_03

Yuki_03

I really can't take it
Aug 9, 2023
488
Maybe. But each person thinks for their best, the least suffering, the more comfortable. For them, that is.
You should really worry more about those who appreaciate you and respect your choice, and understand it.
 
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sunbleachedflies

sunbleachedflies

If it is meant to be then it will be.
May 1, 2024
21
It won't matter bc you'll b dead
You're not wrong there šŸ˜‚
I assume mine will be angry. I hope they don't hate me. It was never about hurting them.
I completely understand how you feel.
Maybe. But each person thinks for their best, the least suffering, the more comfortable. For them, that is.
You should really worry more about those who appreaciate you and respect your choice, and understand it.
Thank you for sharing this POV. This is a good way to see it.
 
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