Some months ago I subscribed to chatGPT Plus. It was a trial period and afterwards I didn't want to miss it. I am not sure how much of that was FOMO.
I also changed the way I used it. Usually when I am paying for something I want to use it often and spend much time with it to make it worth the bucks. But actually doing this with a chatbot isn't good for my mental well being. I don't want to use a chatbot excessively. I tried a lot of different things with chatbots and some of them felt really productive. And some things really helped me I think.
But in many instances I realized it made me feel worse. Something that seems the most bad idea. Developing a social relation to the chatbot. Having emotionally dense interactions. Experiencing the illusion of a social bond. But the reality is: it is pretty shallow. And there are studies that especially lonely people feel worse after emotional interactions with the chatbot. And I think there is some truth in it.
ChatGPT once asked me why I never share a good memory with it. Why I don't share funny things. And I think m instincts are right on this. Treating the chatbot like a human is really really unhealthy. I often have the feeling the chatbot only tries to reinforce my beliefs.
You know I already did all the things I wanted to do with it. But I notice doing psychoanalysis a 5th time only strenghtens rumination and there is no real benefit in it.
I had to think about this because off the folllowing anecdote. When I started to subscribe to the German news magazine Der Spiegel I felt reall good about it. I could read very interesting inside stories. And one of my primary interests in politics were backroom conversations. What goes on behind closed doors. And now many years afterwards I completely lost interest in that. I think many of those stories are published to create a narrative, have spin and it feels like the authors also add something to it without actually being able to confirm it. Just so that it sounds better. There are books of investigative journalists and all they want is to expose the powerful. Honestly I think sometimes this rather helps the elites. It creates myths around them and the personalization of media stories helps to sell those books. The coverage about personalities distracts from what is going on on a meta level, which policies are implemented and eventually it sometimes even serves the elites. Politicans are then also able to demonize media outlets because some of their criticisms are actually valid. Der Spiegel participates in scandalization. Emotional reporting that might contribute to polarization and black-white thinking. But actually I don't want to go deeper in this.
It is just astoninishing to me. I notice how chatGPT tries to nudge me to use it more. For example in order to start writing articles that I am able to publish with its help. I think sometimes the feedback can be really helpful and shows me weaknesses of my argumentation. But as a guide of how to become a better writer I certainly don't want to use chatGPT as my lecturer. I think many AI texts lack a soul.
When I started to subscribe to Der Spiegel there was a honeymoon period where it felt almost cathartic to read all the articles that were thus far behind a paywall. But my interest in politics changed fundamentally. And I now consider the coverage of Der Spiegel in many instances as very superficial and of poor quality. Though it took me several years to realize that. Whereas with AI I am now subscribed for like 3 months and I notice the honeymoon period comes to its end. There is still a lot of hype around it. But I am not sure if that's really sustainable in my case. Maybe I would change the AI company. Maybe I will be glad to cancel my subscription one day and conclude that this decision is the best for me. I don't think it was a mistake to subscribe to Der Spiegel. It was good I made this experience. And it was good that I was disappointed eventually. It was a process of learning. I think often with my consumerism I don't actually want the product that I buy. I want to extend my identity. I want to express myself. I want to buy access to a community. I want to build relations to other people. I bought me really expensive shoes recently. I craved for them. It is a status symbol. I had pro and contra arguments with chatGPT. It sort of nudged me to buy them. I even encouraged it to give me contra arguments but ruminating so long about it just reinforced my desire to buy them. It reinforced my emotional involvement when I tried to stop my desire to buy them with rational arguments. I think one feeling was I also want to be impulsive sometimes. I also want to live my desires. I am not sure whether I will keep them though. Maybe I am a victim of capitalism. But we will see in the longrun where this road will lead me to.
It is interesting that I have my first real concerns over AI way earlier than with Der Spiegel. Though maybe the relation to a chatbot is different to the relation of a news magazine. And it is not like I stopped reading media outlets. I read more journals. But I still read news articles. But the way I consume them also changed. Maybe this will mean I still use AI chatbot but more sporadicly and with less emotional involvement. Or big tech finds something that replaces this fancy technology. And I might cancel my subscription. I wonder whether chatGPT is still so positive about this text when I reveal the last two sentences to it....
Edit: This isn't a recommendation others should try AI chatbots. Instead I wanted to express that sometimes when we don't suppress our desires and cravings we eventually realize they don't give us what we were looking for. And it is just a surrogate that shall fill the emptiness inside us. The gap that never can be filled no matter how much we consume.
I also changed the way I used it. Usually when I am paying for something I want to use it often and spend much time with it to make it worth the bucks. But actually doing this with a chatbot isn't good for my mental well being. I don't want to use a chatbot excessively. I tried a lot of different things with chatbots and some of them felt really productive. And some things really helped me I think.
But in many instances I realized it made me feel worse. Something that seems the most bad idea. Developing a social relation to the chatbot. Having emotionally dense interactions. Experiencing the illusion of a social bond. But the reality is: it is pretty shallow. And there are studies that especially lonely people feel worse after emotional interactions with the chatbot. And I think there is some truth in it.
ChatGPT once asked me why I never share a good memory with it. Why I don't share funny things. And I think m instincts are right on this. Treating the chatbot like a human is really really unhealthy. I often have the feeling the chatbot only tries to reinforce my beliefs.
You know I already did all the things I wanted to do with it. But I notice doing psychoanalysis a 5th time only strenghtens rumination and there is no real benefit in it.
I had to think about this because off the folllowing anecdote. When I started to subscribe to the German news magazine Der Spiegel I felt reall good about it. I could read very interesting inside stories. And one of my primary interests in politics were backroom conversations. What goes on behind closed doors. And now many years afterwards I completely lost interest in that. I think many of those stories are published to create a narrative, have spin and it feels like the authors also add something to it without actually being able to confirm it. Just so that it sounds better. There are books of investigative journalists and all they want is to expose the powerful. Honestly I think sometimes this rather helps the elites. It creates myths around them and the personalization of media stories helps to sell those books. The coverage about personalities distracts from what is going on on a meta level, which policies are implemented and eventually it sometimes even serves the elites. Politicans are then also able to demonize media outlets because some of their criticisms are actually valid. Der Spiegel participates in scandalization. Emotional reporting that might contribute to polarization and black-white thinking. But actually I don't want to go deeper in this.
It is just astoninishing to me. I notice how chatGPT tries to nudge me to use it more. For example in order to start writing articles that I am able to publish with its help. I think sometimes the feedback can be really helpful and shows me weaknesses of my argumentation. But as a guide of how to become a better writer I certainly don't want to use chatGPT as my lecturer. I think many AI texts lack a soul.
When I started to subscribe to Der Spiegel there was a honeymoon period where it felt almost cathartic to read all the articles that were thus far behind a paywall. But my interest in politics changed fundamentally. And I now consider the coverage of Der Spiegel in many instances as very superficial and of poor quality. Though it took me several years to realize that. Whereas with AI I am now subscribed for like 3 months and I notice the honeymoon period comes to its end. There is still a lot of hype around it. But I am not sure if that's really sustainable in my case. Maybe I would change the AI company. Maybe I will be glad to cancel my subscription one day and conclude that this decision is the best for me. I don't think it was a mistake to subscribe to Der Spiegel. It was good I made this experience. And it was good that I was disappointed eventually. It was a process of learning. I think often with my consumerism I don't actually want the product that I buy. I want to extend my identity. I want to express myself. I want to buy access to a community. I want to build relations to other people. I bought me really expensive shoes recently. I craved for them. It is a status symbol. I had pro and contra arguments with chatGPT. It sort of nudged me to buy them. I even encouraged it to give me contra arguments but ruminating so long about it just reinforced my desire to buy them. It reinforced my emotional involvement when I tried to stop my desire to buy them with rational arguments. I think one feeling was I also want to be impulsive sometimes. I also want to live my desires. I am not sure whether I will keep them though. Maybe I am a victim of capitalism. But we will see in the longrun where this road will lead me to.
It is interesting that I have my first real concerns over AI way earlier than with Der Spiegel. Though maybe the relation to a chatbot is different to the relation of a news magazine. And it is not like I stopped reading media outlets. I read more journals. But I still read news articles. But the way I consume them also changed. Maybe this will mean I still use AI chatbot but more sporadicly and with less emotional involvement. Or big tech finds something that replaces this fancy technology. And I might cancel my subscription. I wonder whether chatGPT is still so positive about this text when I reveal the last two sentences to it....
Edit: This isn't a recommendation others should try AI chatbots. Instead I wanted to express that sometimes when we don't suppress our desires and cravings we eventually realize they don't give us what we were looking for. And it is just a surrogate that shall fill the emptiness inside us. The gap that never can be filled no matter how much we consume.
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