Will Death Really Solve Anything?

[Elysium Searcher]

Death will make me unable to feel any influence of any events that happened in my life, I will not have to remain under my traumas boots, so yeah, I strongly believe that by CTB It... will not solve my issues, but the most importantly - I won't have to deal with all this shit.

At least I believe that.

 

[Ramirez]

Death will make me unable to feel any influence of any events that happened in my life, I will not have to remain under my traumas boots, so yeah, I strongly believe that by CTB It... will not solve my issues, but the most importantly - I won't have to deal with all this shit.

At least I believe that.

I agree. It wont solve anything. cuz their wont be anything to solve. things to solve are for the living. Being dead is not a solution to any problem. It will just be like the problem wasnt there in the first place.
Im drunk but this is gold. yall welcome.

 

[Elysium Searcher]

I agree. It wont solve anything. cuz their wont be anything to solve. things to solve are for the living. Being dead is not a solution to any problem. It will just be like the problem wasnt there in the first place.
Im drunk but this is gold. yall welcome.

Yeah, it won't, but some problems will disappear with someone's death. I mean, from the point of view of the suicidal person who wants to end it's life it will be the same in many cases, but some problems will still be present.

Hopefully you're drunk thanks to something good tastin

 

[Ramirez]

Yeah, it won't, but some problems will disappear with someone's death.

oh yeah I just meant in general that nothing will ever have existed for the person who is dead. Sounds like a really good deal I'm taking it.

opefully you're drunk thanks to something good tastin

oh It doesn't taste good but it gets the job done xD

 

[Elysium Searcher]

oh yeah I just meant in general that nothing will ever have existed for the person who is dead. Sounds like a really good deal I'm taking it.

Ah, sorry for misunderstanding you then. My bad!

oh It doesn't taste good but it gets the job done xD

Well, better this than nothing then . Hopefully it's not something really disgusting then! Have a good "drinking session"

 

[Celerity]

Suicide is an escape from this world.
Not fixing things.

Your case is different than the other. There are cases where people dont have any option left and there are cases where they still do.

Of course. I'm talking about me and people like me.

Heya @Celerity - you have an incredible ability to write that is really fun to read! I smiled the entire way through your original post. : )

I can only speak for me.

I do not know know if death will really solve anything.

I don't really want to die, and would give anything to be able to get help for my brain injuries so that I can go back to work and not have to face this outcome.

I have been tring to get government help, but it takes sooo long even if it is approved (which is rare) and I am out of time.

So right now, life is intolerable, I am headed towards homelessness where I know I will not survive, so I am willing to take the chance that death might just solve my particular problems - I don't have much other choice.

Just spent another night with a severe headache and no sleep. I called my doctor. I really doubt he will help me - but I had to try. Too much debilitating pain right now, but even with that pain - your writing really made me smile. Thanks you!

<3

I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't think I could survive homelessness and respect anyone who has to suffer it. What is your healthcare situation like? Are you in the US?

 

[Efilismislife]

I sort of can understand the feeling, being cornered helpless having no choice and running out of time

But also thinking its useless to prolong the useless struggle&suffering, its only due to fear of dying

Im in that situation too

Heya @Celerity - you have an incredible ability to write that is really fun to read! I smiled the entire way through your original post. : )

I can only speak for me.

I do not know know if death will really solve anything.

I don't really want to die, and would give anything to be able to get help for my brain injuries so that I can go back to work and not have to face this outcome.

I have been tring to get government help, but it takes sooo long even if it is approved (which is rare) and I am out of time.

So right now, life is intolerable, I am headed towards homelessness where I know I will not survive, so I am willing to take the chance that death might just solve my particular problems - I don't have much other choice.

Just spent another night with a severe headache and no sleep. I called my doctor. I really doubt he will help me - but I had to try. Too much debilitating pain right now, but even with that pain - your writing really made me smile. Thanks you!

<3

 

[Weary Soul]

Of course. I'm talking about me and people like me.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't think I could survive homelessness and respect anyone who has to suffer it. What is your healthcare situation like? Are you in the US?

I have healthcare via the state (free health care now - and wow what a difference, what I used to pay could have paid for a home for someone). But, there are drawbackes. For example, pain clinics do not take my insurance, and I have no money. But, suppose there are drawbacks with anything.

The doc I have been with for 15+ years, refuses to help me. He is the one who had me on xanx 3 mg/day for 9 or so years, and then stopped prescribingn it suddenly. I went through hell because of that. I could not eat or sleep for about 2 weeks, which landed me in the hospital. The psych on call would not listen to or believe me - she believed my momster who lied about me. So she gave me the option of voluntary instead of forced admittanct to the psych ward - and here, being 302'd follows you for life. The psych ward was an absolute horror.All I needed was a slower withdrawal, something to help me sleep, and food, which would have been 3 or so days in the hospital and then meds to taper better. I even told my doc what I needed (I used to work in medicine), but none of them would listen to me, so they almost killed me. First night in the psych ward and within 15 minues of giving me a med I did not need, I had a grand-mal seizure and went blue - it is laughable, to stop the seizure, they injeceeted me with a benzo. SMH.It was a nightmare.

I just hit my breaking point today. Once again I have a severe headache - and these usually last for weeks. I have not slept more than 2 hours off and on a night and called my doc yesterday. I was told he would get back to me - and he did not. So I called the after hour hotline, and she said go to the hospital I told her that I was scared to drive - aka no sleep, not to mention I have to take care of my dogs, I have no one to rely on. Also, my headaches are not migraines - they are due to the many had injuries I have had - and if I go to the hospital or to an urgent care, they will treat it as a migraine despite my telling them it is not a migrane. So, I called my doc again today (and this is the last time), He along with my ex almost killed me. So if he does not get back with some help today (and even if he does) he will hear it from me (I am trying to old back - but I am beyond angry with him and his staff at this point). There are pain meds that are not addictive, and that I will not take unless nothing else helps - and he will not prescribe them - even like 10 of them (I am thinking tramadol) to get me past the pain. HE IS DONE and he will be reported. I have had enough.

So sorry for the long post. I am just so very frustrated, exhausted, and in pain today. And I have absolutely no ability to get help.

I am thinking about hitting the dark web and/or the streets to get the help he will not give (never did this before), and I will tell him that he has caused this because he will not help.

I sort of can understand the feeling, being cornered helpless having no choice and running out of time

But also thinking its useless to prolong the useless struggle&suffering, its only due to fear of dying

Im in that situation too

Thank you for understanding - and I am so very sorry you do understand.

Much love to all of you! And again, so sorry for the very long post - I have just hit my breaking point. <3

 

[Celerity]

I have healthcare via the state (free health care now - and wow what a difference, what I used to pay could have paid for a home for someone). But, there are drawbackes. For example, pain clinics do not take my insurance, and I have no money. But, suppose there are drawbacks with anything.

The doc I have been with for 15+ years, refuses to help me. He is the one who had me on xanx 3 mg/day for 9 or so years, and then stopped prescribingn it suddenly. I went through hell because of that. I could not eat or sleep for about 2 weeks, which landed me in the hospital. The psych on call would not listen to or believe me - she believed my momster who lied about me. So she gave me the option of voluntary instead of forced admittanct to the psych ward - and here, being 302'd follows you for life. The psych ward was an absolute horror.All I needed was a slower withdrawal, something to help me sleep, and food, which would have been 3 or so days in the hospital and then meds to taper better. I even told my doc what I needed (I used to work in medicine), but none of them would listen to me, so they almost killed me. First night in the psych ward and within 15 minues of giving me a med I did not need, I had a grand-mal seizure and went blue - it is laughable, to stop the seizure, they injeceeted me with a benzo. SMH.It was a nightmare.

I just hit my breaking point today. Once again I have a severe headache - and these usually last for weeks. I have not slept more than 2 hours off and on a night and called my doc yesterday. I was told he would get back to me - and he did not. So I called the after hour hotline, and she said go to the hospital I told her that I was scared to drive - aka no sleep, not to mention I have to take care of my dogs, I have no one to rely on. Also, my headaches are not migraines - they are due to the many had injuries I have had - and if I go to the hospital or to an urgent care, they will treat it as a migraine despite my telling them it is not a migrane. So, I called my doc again today (and this is the last time), He along with my ex almost killed me. So if he does not get back with some help today (and even if he does) he will hear it from me (I am trying to old back - but I am beyond angry with him and his staff at this point). There are pain meds that are not addictive, and that I will not take unless nothing else helps - and he will not prescribe them - even like 10 of them (I am thinking tramadol) to get me past the pain. HE IS DONE and he will be reported. I have had enough.

So sorry for the long post. I am just so very frustrated, exhausted, and in pain today. And I have absolutely no ability to get help.

I am thinking about hitting the dark web and/or the streets to get the help he will not give (never did this before), and I will tell him that he has caused this because he will not help.



Thank you for understanding - and I am so very sorry you do understand.

Much love to all of you! And again, so sorry for the very long post - I have just hit my breaking point. <3

Jesus Christ. I'm very sorry that has happened to you. Our medical system is fucked. What you doctor did was extremely irresponsible. A lot of primary care docs don't want to prescribe those meds anymore, but you can't just pull someone off them cold turkey. He should possibly have his license revoked. That's dangerous as hell.

 

[Burned out]

My feeling is that death is probably not permanent, and death is nothingness, so cannot be experienced. Death is a reset, but the problem that is the phenomenon of suffering, and the possibility of it, will never go away, so death is like getting flung on to an arbitrarily large roulette wheel such that where you land is what your next situation becomes (better, same, worse, non-comparable). Despite the possibility of suicide making it no different/worse, my instinct still says to go ahead and stop the present suffering.

My feeling on Buddhism is that it is too uncomfortable to believe in the eventual entrance into an eternal existence without need/suffering. It is anxiety inducing and poisonous and absurd. I cannot believe any reality that causes you random meaningless suffering then flawless existence. I have to hope if any religion is correct, I get the good outcome despite no belief or involvement or non adherence of its rules.

Another thing about buddhism (I have read up on it for years), there is seemingly no one anywhere that can give a coherent and proper description of what it even is or the main sub types. Some person will claim to be knowledgeable about it in general, or on a specific type of buddhism, then another person claiming to be knowledgeable comes along and undoes or contradicts what I have heard elsewhere, and this has happened dozens of times. Some say it isn't a religion, but the majority of its qualities say otherwise. Some say it's about non existence, then others say you still exist upon end goal, etc. At first, I thought it was a language barrier, as though English was not getting the message right. Now I know it is a tangled mess of ideas, and perhaps never even a "known quantity."

My liberation, when confronting an eternal existence, is to divorce myself from the notion of ever being the cause of my own experience of positivity. Simply, all personal responsibility for any good I have known and good to come is an illusion, even if it seemed obvious I had caused good. All other happenings, I regard as what they seem to be or unknowable.

 

[Weary Soul]

It has gotten far worse since then - I actually fired him and it he is now messing with my attempts to get benefits. He actually told them (I found out today) that he had released me from the practice for noncompliance, which is a total lie - after his complete incompetence for the 3rd time and over a period of 5 or so years, I finally fired him and told him I was going to have to go to a new doctor.

This was the 3rd and final time I have had problems with this doctors's incompetence.

I am done.

If I somehow survive past this month (ie, my money does not run out), I am reporting him to a medical board and leaving him a very bad review - he should not be practicing medicine, he is a terrible doctor and has cost me about 20k in unnesecary medical a bills, where, had he listened to me, it would have cost me about $500 at most.

<3

 

[Burned out]

@Weary Soul This is why you document everything. I have had others lie (false claim of non compliance) and it legally fucked me for life. I don't know what else you can do other than physical proof, because they never take the victims word for it in this scenario.

 

[Weary Soul]

Yep @Burned out. Going forward, if there is a forward, I will ask require any appointment to be videotapped or recorded. While a doctor may not feel comfortable with this - it they are a good one, they should not mind it.

The only proof I do have is in my medical record (which I have) that shows a clear picture of his malpractice - plus, because I do have medical knowledge, I can counter any claim he may attempt to make based on fact - and it shows in my record.

He does what he wants to whom he wants thinking that he will never be held accountable - big mistake. Although - there is this a code of silence among doctors - it is rare to find one that will out and out say that what was done to me was malpractice - and then you get into the statute of limitations - which gives a doc a get-out-of jail free card.

It is obvious from my record, and I can prove his liesand that he did not follow standard practice many times via my records. His mistake was forgetting that I know medicine.

Alla that being said, you are absolutely right (it is also one of the main reasons I am now here - he destroyed my life).

I am so sorry you understand this.

<3

 

[Mentalmick]

No one can possibly know the answer to that question. It either fixes everything or it fixes nothing. There's just no way of knowing. That's the big fucking problem with suicide.

 

[Celerity]

No one can possibly know the answer to that question. It either fixes everything or it fixes nothing. There's just no way of knowing. That's the big fucking problem with suicide.

True, but that leaves me paralyzed with indecision, which is really where most of us are.

 

[motel rooms]

The immensity of our self-importance is hilarious

 

[Celerity]

The immensity of our self-importance is hilarious

Well, my existence is important to me, and that's what counts to me primarily.

 

[motel rooms]

Well, my existence is important to me, and that's what counts to me primarily.

Yes, that's the trap we're born into...

 

[Celerity]

Yes, that's the trap we're born into...

For real. We think ourselves better than all other living things, yet we suffer the most. That's also gotta be a trap.

 

[Apaturesuicience]

I do not suffer from severe, chronic pain. Nearly all of my basic physical needs are met at all times. I am not under threat of life and death. What thwarted desires I have primarily refer to social relationships and career success.

If you don't want to live, then by definition nothing you want and think you will achieve is worth the pain/trouble of getting there. Therefore, you would rather be dead than alive.

In your situation, you have a desire for social relationships and career success. I assume that either you feel you cannot achieve those things and/or it is not worth putting up with the pain of waiting/working until you get them.

While those things seem like fine things to desire, lets imagine you were to get rid of your desire for them.
While that might rid you of wanting those specific things, would your pain (I'm using the term pain loosly) go away? It might and it might not. It depends on what your source of pain is. If you don't want to live because you can't achieve the goals, then maybe you would find other goals that are worth living for. But if the pain comes from somthing else, it is unlikely that you would want to live even in the absense of these specific desires.

So if the source of your desire to ctb is the pain of not achieving something, trying to lessen your desire for those goals could make you feel a little better. In the end though, its you who will decide if you want to live or not. I hope you find a solution to your problems, whatever it may be.