Venting Why won’t people understand

[GirlOfThought06]

I know my pain stems from not being treated like everyone else I for some reason didn't deserve what everyone else got because something was wrong with me and that's why I got bullied
It was my fault it had to be I didn't get what everyone else had I want it so bad I want it so bad it hurts so badly I just want to be a normal girl. I was always treated like an animal kept in some exhibit and called horrid names and shunned from everybody because I was so disgusting. I just want what they had I want the parties I want to go on dates I wanted that prom to be fun I didn't want to be excluded I wanted to walk at graduation but I couldn't I wanted to be included and loved and be treated like a human being but people decided not to. Now even though that's all over I still can't do it. It hurts so much. They ruined me they destroyed my life I wish I killed myself so they all knew what they did I wish they saw me blow my head off so they knew how much they ruined me they turned me into a monster who isn't even human I can't talk to people I sit alone in my room and rot nobody will understand how much my heart HURTS all of the time All I get is "well that's in the past" I know it's the past but it still hurts younger me is still hurting so much past me hurts current me hurts and it's always going to hurt because people said I wasn't normal and so I sat alone and became a rat to society

 

[tieiwi]

I'm so sorry. I completely relate to you. I wish I could give you a big hug and take all your pain from you. The only thing that helped me was the idea of living alone in nature. Self sufficient and away from everyone. Away from everyone's hateful eyes, actions, and words. I wonder if that can be something of sanctuary to you as well. If not I understand. I am wishing you peace from all the pain.