Venting Why they make it so hard to find a method

[heiwa2]

Iam new here. I have been suicidal after dropping out of college, since then I have been a pessimist looking at everything as meaningless. Few months ago I did make an attempt ( I wouldn't even like to call it an attempt because it was fucking stupid). Basically I wanted to achieve asphyxia by blocking airway. So my plan was to put cotton in nose, take 30mg of lorazepam ( to knock me out), put tape on mouth and then go to sleep. I know it's a non method but back then I didn't know better. After taking the tablets my si kicked in and I stopped but thanks to that now my family members know that iam suicidal so they check on me, making it hard to plan anything. Iam 18 years old and I feel like an unc, I live with my family. Buying salts doesn't seems possible to me cause they are hard to get. There are no High enough places here, so jumping is not an option. For hanging I need an empty place which I don't have access to. I can't try gases either cause I don't live alone. I tried ligature strangulation but, I never loose consciousness from that. If I had Nembutal I would end it right now. So basically iam so incompetent that I can't even die. To me non existence always seems better than existence, you might have heard of Benetars argument that absence of pain is good ( even if no one experiences it), while the absence of pleasure is only bad if someone exists to be deprived of it. Still the society has made it so hard for one to find a method to end their existence. When I had heard of sarco pods ( suicide pots) getting legalized in Switzerland, I was so jealous. I think everyone should be provided an option if they want to exist or not, but the world just wants us to suffer.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as no matter what I'll just always prefer the peace of non-existence over the suffering of this torturous, futile existence, for me non-existence is just all that's desirable, to me only being permanently free from all pain and suffering could ever be positive, I see so much terrible extreme cruelty how we exist in this horrific reality where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

All anti-suicide does is just cause way more torture and suffering, denying the option to cease existing painlessly is such a terrible crime to me, it's just so horrific how so many want others to be tortured in this existence for as much and long as possible.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I suggest reading the Peaceful Pill Handbook and trying to minimise the interference factors for an successful attempt. Also try finding a different environment to do it in

 

[heiwa2]

I suggest reading the Peaceful Pill Handbook and trying to minimise the interference factors for an successful attempt. Also try finding a different environment to do it in

Yeah I have read the peaceful pill handbook. Iam currently thinking of sn method but it will require a lot of planning.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Hey, welcome to Sasu, I hope being here helps you in some way, even if it's just the feeling of being understood that you get from here, which is why I keep coming back as an old member. I'm in a similar situation where I live with my dad and it makes exiting more difficult than it would be if I lived alone. I have bought SN in the past, but I don't have it anymore. My dad got rid of it the last time I was in the hospital for a week.

I don't get why exiting this life can't be as easy as snapping our fingers on both hands 3 times, spinning around in a circle once, and clapping our hands once. Only reason why it should be a little more complicated than just snapping our fingers is because someone who wants to live wouldn't want to accidentally die from snapping their fingers. Still, this easy method to get out of life should be common knowledge, where anyone can do it, and it ends with us erasing our own existence peacefully. Instead we live in a hell planet where the majority of suicides are violent and it makes me so angry sometimes.

 

[heiwa2]

Hey, welcome to Sasu, I hope being here helps you in some way, even if it's just the feeling of being understood that you get from here, which is why I keep coming back as an old member. I'm in a similar situation where I live with my dad and it makes exiting more difficult than it would be if I lived alone. I have bought SN in the past, but I don't have it anymore. My dad got rid of it the last time I was in the hospital for a week.

I don't get why exiting this life can't be as easy as snapping our fingers on both hands 3 times, spinning around in a circle once, and clapping our hands once. Only reason why it should be a little more complicated than just snapping our fingers is because someone who wants to live wouldn't want to accidentally die from snapping their fingers. Still, this easy method to get out of life should be common knowledge, where anyone can do it, and it ends with us erasing our own existence peacefully. Instead we live in a hell planet where the majority of suicides are violent and it makes me so angry sometimes.

Being in here has helped a lot, I have learned which methods work and which don't and which methods to avoid. The thing is Iam unable to get access to my desired methods. I actually had heard of sasu long before being suicidal from a youtube video. Back then I used to think this site must be full of bad people but when I entered the site I realised that it's only filled with those people who have been broken by life. The people here are understanding and helpful. And honestly there should be more communities like this.