Discussion Why tell others?

[Omniscient Chasm]

In that mood to yammer.

Since I'm on this website where I'm with a bunch of likeminded people. (In the sense that a good chunk of use are actively seeking CTB)

I wanted to ask a question of those I do not understand very well:

The ones who tell other people about their attempts, leave some very obvious warning/hint, or do it in a manner they'll obviously be found.

Why would you do such a thing? It always agitates me when I think about it because I've had situations in my own life where people have the most perfect way to CTB but actively ruin it by telling people before they take action.

I understand for some it's an illogical panic thing. But other than that, I don't see the purpose besides the obvious attention seeking?

Even then, the attention isn't even worthwhile because the people in your life pity you, or even feel disgust at your seeming weakness. I know for some their life circumstances can improve this way..but for most I see that it worsens.

I just cannot wrap my head around it at all. Because with my own experiences I made it a point to never tell anyone or even exhibit any signs. Because I actually want to be successful and not survive. (Ironic considering my horrific luck with surviving shit I shouldn't)

TLDR: Why do some of you actually tell people that you are going to CTB? I want to understand the mindset outside of my harsh judgements about the behavior.

 

[meatballlover]

I also dont tell anyone and agree with pretty much everything you said. However there are many reasons why one would tell someone about it. Maybe they want to be comforted, maybe they simply trust the person enough that they will not intervene (naive but who am i to judge) maybe they need to get it off their chests, and so on. There could be many reasons. Not saying it is always logical but lets approach it with empathy.

 

[Omniscient Chasm]

I also dont tell anyone and agree with pretty much everything you said. However there are many reasons why one would tell someone about it. Maybe they want to be comforted, maybe they simply trust the person enough that they will not intervene (naive but who am i to judge) maybe they need to get it off their chests, and so on. There could be many reasons. Not saying it is always logical but lets approach it with empathy.

I absolutely agree with approaching with empathy. My initial tone may have come off too harshly, my true intent is to understand the perspective of those who have done such things.

The trust aspect does make sense now that you mention it, I have to remember not everyone is as paranoid of others intentions and is actually capable of trusting with such sensitive matters.

But yeah, to anyone reading the post and feels judged. Despite my harsh statements I have no ill will to anyone who had told others. I am very eager to understand so please don't be afraid. I swear I don't bite, I'm just very autistic and narrow minded at worst.

 

[Emerita]

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[mustard tiger]

I have told people in the past and I did it because I needed them to know just how miserable I was. I don't know why I needed them to know this. I have gotten past this and wont be telling anyone ever again. they will only find out how I feel in the note

 

[Matchaaa]

I told them because I trust them not to interfere; they know that if they do and the system gets involved, I'll only end up in a worse situation.

I figured that by opening up a bit beforehand, I could soften the blow a little (ideally). I told my family and one other person, and so far, there haven't been any major issues. (Since the system in my country is so terrible, most people wouldn't force their way in and put those around them in that kind of situation. It's also possible that because I frequently posted about wanting to die a few years ago but didn't actually die, they just assume this is still one of my coping and venting mechanisms—but that's just my guess.)

Looking back, I realize this was indeed a very high-risk move, so I absolutely do not recommend others do this. Because it really can easily make things much worse.

 

[meddle]

its (as you have said yourself) an illogical panic thing. and this is very hard and lonely decision (even with this site). so its hard not to let it slip