Why not fight for the ones you love and could be leaving behind?

[Lost Magic]

Why would you want to harm yourself if you have a loving family or dependents. I know depression or other ailments make it harder but isn't it worth fighting for them? I have no siblings or parents (I looked after my mother for years) so I don't have really close family members to worry about losing me. So why not fight for the ones you love and the ones you are leaving behind?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Low empathy levels.

 

[Nexey]

Pretty sure they can take care of themselves. Living vicariously through others isn't exactly healthy. Then again, neither is depression. A bit of a lose-lose situation.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I have. My entire life. I have wanted to ctb since I was very young and that's the one thing that has held me back. But there comes a point where you just can't do it anymore. I have hit that point where my depression has overtaken wanting to stay alive for others. It's not fair to have to stay alive for others. I have spent 25 years fighting, staying alive for my parents and more recently my partner too. I am tired. I need my peace. And while I don't want to hurt them, I can no longer be a part of this world simply for others. And nobody better call me selfish when I do, because they have no idea the stuff I've gone through everyday to simply stay alive for them.

 

[booray]

Because I'm becoming a burden on them and my depression is never going away. Why would I want to stick around when my negativity sucks all the energy out of the room?

 

[Symbiote]

I have fought to stick around, but becoming self-aware of my attempts to rectify a failing situation, one can only do so much. I realized that over time, the less I suffered, the more they did. The dynamics of life weren't meant to be in my favor since I want all of us to be happy. The more I learned about this strange dynamic with the ones close to me, I believe that I am the odd link that should be extinguished from life. I do not belong here, all I do is hurt the ones I love, and if I just disappear, they will be much better off. Becoming self-aware of your issues and what you're doing with them, but unable to control your emotions and find a path to healing is hell on earth.

 

[StringPuppet]

Because it's my life and not theirs, and I'll do nothing but drain them for resources if I don't. I also personally don't like thinking about dying as something that can be 'fought' when it will just end up happening anyway. Those are just my reasons though.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Sorry to hear you have no family as well. I know how painful that is. Everytime I walk past a house, I accidentally give the property a sideways glance. Whenever I see a big family gathered around a dinner table, I feel broken and shattered into a million pieces. I'll never experience that.

I have been trying to stay alive for my partner, as he's all I've got, besides a young sibling who I could never disclose any of my life situation to. However, my boyfriend doesn't understand how physically sick I am and often treats me quite badly. If I need to express my pain he forces me to stop and tells me I'm being a doomer, often getting quite upset or angry.

It is a fact, not an opinion, that my disability will worsen with time. Chronic fatigue syndrome sufferers have a lower quality of life than many cancer patients, and ctb at an extraordinarily high rate. Despite this, many ignoramuses in society think we are faking our pain, and this rejection cascades down into every facet of one's life.

I am not getting the support I need. I am a burden, and the fact is a harsh reality. If I were to stay alive, my body is going to deteriorate more and more. Others will not help me. Why would I stay alive for a world that treats me with no respect nor compassion?

No one loves me, so I feel free to go. It is my choice and my choice alone. I can only hope that if others were impacted by my ctb they will choose to be antinatalist and not bring anyone else into the world to experience grief and suffering.

 

[NightmareTour]

I HAVE fought for them. For years. The amount of pain and difficulty I've endured for them is something I can be proud of. But now I've reached the point where trying the same thing over and over and expecting it to work doesn't make sense. I know I can't improve without help, and I'm not going to get help, so it's kinder for everyone involved if this doesn't carry on any longer. My physical health is constantly getting worse anyway, and I don't want them to be stuck dealing with that just as much as I don't want to live through it.

 

[Tortured_empath]

I am trying...

 

[Callie Arcale]

Coz I hate my suffering more than I love my family.

 

[Makko]

If you have those, in your condition, you'll likely not be fighting for them, but against them.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think it is worth TRYING TO FIGHT but if you can't, it's also okay.

You may have lots of money and the perfect family but if your mind is not okay, you will want to ctb anyway. What's the point of only living for others? We all should live for ourselves and then the rest of the people.
After all, if we don't love ourselves, it becomes almost impossible to love others.

My dad and dog are my main reasons for staying in this world. I'm really trying to live because I love them and don't wanna hurt them.
However, if I fail, I'll have no regrets because I really gave life one more shot.

 

[WatermelonMel]

I love my family more than anything but there is no way I'm staying in this shithole for them. They will need to forgive and understand with time.

 

[Last chance]

I wouldn't be alive if I hadn't have fought for their sakes.

But there comes a point where enough is enough and if they can't understand and accept that it's what you really needed to do to be rid of the pain then that's on them.

I think it's selfish for people to expect someone to live through hell just to stop them from grieving.

 

[Toptock]

Pretty sure they can take care of themselves. Living vicariously through others isn't exactly healthy. Then again, neither is depression. A bit of a lose-lose situation.

This, 10000%. Its unfair of people to say "stay for those you are leaving behind" because it puts unfair expectations on you to now not just carry yourself but others as well.

They'll be fine, they lived before we knew each other and they'll live on without. Gee, how selfish of people to die without taking me into consideration. The selfish bastards died without taking my feelings into account.

Also, if we were so important to these people, wouldn't they be trying harder to keep us around? Why is it always our fault for not only being depressed, but also having people be mildly inconvenienced by our ctb.

 

[Sensei]

I'm fighting. It's one of the reasons I'm still alive. I'll probably continue to fight, but I won't do it forever. There are limits. I know it's a tired cliché, but I never asked to be born into this world. Why should I have to fight when I was never given a choice? If I continue to fight it'll be because I want to, not because I have to.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Not read all the replies, but why stay alive for others, what is the point of existing when it is merely to please others and to ensure no pain to their life? At what point is life to us? those suffering? Why should we just exist for others, as to me, that leaves no life for us?!

 

[WOODESITY]

I would say that it depends on individual, if one finds it worthwhile to stick around for the sake of others, it's true that many who are attached to others, depending etc.. it's harder to let go i think. From my own experiences, when i was close to family i felt somewhat obligated to stay, but i think that there should never be guilt trip for wanting to exit and leave anyone behind, if one says to stick around because of your family needs you and such, it seems very selfish of those who say that, because it disregards suicidal's suffering

 

[ashedout]

Why can't the ones who love me let me go knowing I want more than anything to be at peace?

But really, the honest answer for me not to stick around is that I don't owe anyone that. Living for other people can only get me so far. I would be setting myself up for failure because no one can meet those survival/identity needs for me and they will eventually disappoint me or hurt me and then what? It's unfair to others to put those expectations and responsibilities on them.

My death will suck for them for a while, sure, but people do eventually move through the grief process and continue on.

 

[Lost Magic]

Well, whoever, goes through with ctb please let your loved ones know how much they mean to you (write in a note even) and tell them there is nothing they could have done to have prevented your demise. Many people are left with serious guilt and long term trauma after their loved ones end it. They think they could have done more or helped in some way and they end up with complicated grief. I do understand the pain you are all going through but please don't pretend that the ones you leave behind will just go on business as usual without you.

 

[Canttakeitanymore]

They dont love me and want me dead

 

[greebo6]

If they are happy to see me /someone stay around and suffer forever more rather than letting me/them go free from their endless and inevitable horrible unhappiness...then they are very very selfish.

 

[Toptock]

please don't pretend that the ones you leave behind will just go on business as usual without you.

Thats the thing. They will, and they do. We've all lost people and for the most part went on. Business as usual. We know and fully understand what you've been trying to say, but the thing is you seem to assume we are doing this with zero regard. A cursory check will confirm there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people asking everyone for advice on how to not cast blame in their note and instead leave heartwarming messages to everyone.

But we also arent about to assume that the world will stop turning when we're gone. We just know that life will go on for everyone. The people we loved will move on and get married and eventually forget about us.

 

[greebo6]

Thats the thing. They will, and they do. We've all lost people and for the most part went on. Business as usual. We know and fully understand what you've been trying to say, but the thing is you seem to assume we are doing this with zero regard. A cursory check will confirm there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people asking everyone for advice on how to not cast blame in their note and instead leave heartwarming messages to everyone.

But we also arent about to assume that the world will stop turning when we're gone. We just know that life will go on for everyone. The people we loved will move on and get married and eventually forget about us.

True. Time heals ,even if slowly. Life does always go on.

 

[Shades of Grey]

I have been doing just that for 20+ excruciating years. I can't do it anymore.

 

[nolongerhuman]

I have fought and am fighting for them and when I finally go I will have given them every ounce of emotional energy that I had. I wish the love of the right people made the mental illness go away but it doesn't work like that.

 

[Toptock]

I have fought and am fighting for them and when I finally go I will have given them every ounce of emotional energy that I had. I wish the love of the right people made the mental illness go away but it doesn't work like that.

Sure sucks that everyone seems to think theyre the "right person" with the "right answer" then, am i right? People are addicted to answering without listening because they want that shining moment where they can look at their monitor, play some Katy Perry, and pretend they fixed the world.

 

[heraclitus]

I've made sure that there is emotional and financial support there for my wife. I know that she will be happier without having to live with my misery.

 

[Mentalmick]

I won't be leaving anyone behind, so to me it's irrelevant.