Why it didn't work the last 2 times?

[Valso]

Yes, I tried twice already and it didn't work. If it had, I wouldn't be here or anywhere else.
Hollywood keeps telling us that a large dose of sleeping pills + alcohol equals dying in your sleep. Even in the user manual for sleeping pills it reads not to combine them with alcohol, altough for what reasons - that they don't say.
So... trusting Hollywood I took 2 bottles (about 120 pills) of Rivotril 2 mg and downed them with a whole bottle of red wine. The result was that I slept for 16 hours and woke up fresher than ever. So I doubled the doses of both pills and wine, slept for 25 hours and woke up like nothing happened.
There are 2 possible reasons why that didn't work:
1. My organism doesn't react the same way to Rivotril as the organism of anyone else bc since childhood I've had epilepsy and I've had to take different types of pills for that. So for my attemts to work I'd probably have to down a truckload of those pills with a truckload of wine which is impossible cuz my stomach ain't that big and will most probably throw it all up back long before the effects kick in.
2. Hollywood simply lied for effect and not knowing what else to use as a suicide method.

I also tried with Ricin beans and poisonous mushrooms but those were a major failure - I threw up both within half an hour and the most I got was a prolonged stomachache.

Unlike what you prob. think, I'm not trying to end myself for kicks or because of mental illness. I'm just tired of living. My parents and my sister think I'm their personal steward, the woman for me doesn't exist, I already have half a dozen other genetic problems, inherited from my father which will only get worse with time. I can't afford to go to live somewhere else and even if I did, I'd still die alone and in pain some day 20-30-40 years from now. So why wait for the grand pain of old age to come when I could get rid of it all now? If only I knew how cuz apparently it's not as easy to kill yourself as they show it on movies and tv shows.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of existing, I find it beyond dreadful how it's so unnecessarily difficult to die, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to permanently free ourselves from all future unnecessary suffering. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Yes, I tried twice already and it didn't work. If it had, I wouldn't be here or anywhere else.
Hollywood keeps telling us that a large dose of sleeping pills + alcohol equals dying in your sleep. Even in the user manual for sleeping pills it reads not to combine them with alcohol, altough for what reasons - that they don't say.
So... trusting Hollywood I took 2 bottles (about 120 pills) of Rivotril 2 mg and downed them with a whole bottle of red wine. The result was that I slept for 16 hours and woke up fresher than ever. So I doubled the doses of both pills and wine, slept for 25 hours and woke up like nothing happened.
There are 2 possible reasons why that didn't work:
1. My organism doesn't react the same way to Rivotril as the organism of anyone else bc since childhood I've had epilepsy and I've had to take different types of pills for that. So for my attemts to work I'd probably have to down a truckload of those pills with a truckload of wine which is impossible cuz my stomach ain't that big and will most probably throw it all up back long before the effects kick in.
2. Hollywood simply lied for effect and not knowing what else to use as a suicide method.

I also tried with Ricin beans and poisonous mushrooms but those were a major failure - I threw up both within half an hour and the most I got was a prolonged stomachache.

Unlike what you prob. think, I'm not trying to end myself for kicks or because of mental illness. I'm just tired of living. My parents and my sister think I'm their personal steward, the woman for me doesn't exist, I already have half a dozen other genetic problems, inherited from my father which will only get worse with time. I can't afford to go to live somewhere else and even if I did, I'd still die alone and in pain some day 20-30-40 years from now. So why wait for the grand pain of old age to come when I could get rid of it all now? If only I knew how cuz apparently it's not as easy to kill yourself as they show it on movies and tv shows.

Hello

Unfortunately Hollywood is just an entertainment industry, mostly based on ficction or fairy tale accounts. Hollywood never meant to be a source of education or knowledge for something so complex as CTB.

For this, the best source is PPH, find the link bellow:

PPH Essentials 2022

https://bunkrr.su/d/STZOEANPJhEjC [link has no preview] https://gofile.io/d/W0Zwnc [link has preview] Edit: August 2023, fixed the links.

sanctioned-suicide.net

Best of luck!

 

[rozeske]

There is an obvious reason why they show what they show in movies, it's b/c those methods rarely work. Go through the avaliable informations here. All the best to you in your plans, wherever they lead you.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

trusting Hollywood I took 2 bottles (about 120 pills) of Rivotril 2 mg

Yeah, a large dose of Lorazepam like that wasn't going to do anything and trusting Hollywood was your first mistake.

 

[Valso]

Hello

Unfortunately Hollywood is just an entertainment industry, mostly based on ficction or fairy tale accounts. Hollywood never meant to be a source of education or knowledge for something so complex as CTB.

For this, the best source is PPH, find the link bellow:

PPH Essentials 2022

https://bunkrr.su/d/STZOEANPJhEjC [link has no preview] https://gofile.io/d/W0Zwnc [link has preview] Edit: August 2023, fixed the links.

sanctioned-suicide.net

Best of luck!

Thanks. I found a name of a medicine and a whole class of it but it turns out this class of medicines is so strictly controlled in my country that by the time I explain and convince my doctor why I need a prescription for it, I'll die of natural causes. The only way seems to be the black market for medicines which is an even greater mistery in my country cuz everybody's talking about it but nobody knows how to contact a black market dealer.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Thanks. I found a name of a medicine and a whole class of it but it turns out this class of medicines is so strictly controlled in my country that by the time I explain and convince my doctor why I need a prescription for it, I'll die of natural causes. The only way seems to be the black market for medicines which is an even greater mistery in my country cuz everybody's talking about it but nobody knows how to contact a black market dealer.

There is a thread regarding acess to dark market:

How to Access Dark Net Markets For CTB Resources

So I've gotten a few PM's and questions regarding DN markers and I decided to just do a write up for those interested to better access materials for CTB methods. I'll be explaining the steps with the assumption most people will use Tor on a Windows operating system. What's Needed: Tor Browser...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Sra. Grey]

Sí, ya lo intenté dos veces y no funcionó. Si así fuera, no estaría aquí ni en ningún otro lugar.
Hollywood sigue diciéndonos que una gran dosis de pastillas para dormir + alcohol equivale a morir mientras duermes. Incluso en el manual de instrucciones de las pastillas para dormir se lee que no se deben combinar con alcohol, aunque no dicen por qué.
Entonces... confiando en Hollywood, tomé 2 botellas (unas 120 pastillas) de Rivotril 2 mg y las bebí con una botella entera de vino tinto. El resultado fue que dormí 16 horas y me desperté más fresco que nunca. Así que dupliqué las dosis de ambas pastillas y de vino, dormí 25 horas y me desperté como si nada.
Hay 2 posibles razones por las que eso no funcionó:
1. Mi organismo no reacciona igual al Rivotril que el de cualquier otra persona porque desde pequeña he tenido epilepsia y he tenido que tomar diferentes tipos de pastillas para eso. Entonces, para que mis intentos funcionen, probablemente tendría que tomar un camión lleno de esas pastillas con un camión lleno de vino, lo cual es imposible porque mi estómago no es tan grande y lo más probable es que vomite todo mucho antes de que comiencen los efectos.
2. Hollywood simplemente mintió para causar efecto y sin saber qué más usar como método suicida.

También probé con frijoles con ricina y hongos venenosos, pero fueron un gran fracaso: vomité ambos en media hora y lo máximo que sentí fue un dolor de estómago prolongado.

A diferencia de lo que probablemente. Creo que no estoy tratando de acabar conmigo mismo por diversión o por una enfermedad mental. Simplemente estoy cansado de vivir. Mis padres y mi hermana creen que soy su mayordomo personal, la mujer para mí no existe, ya tengo media docena de otros problemas genéticos, heredados de mi padre, que sólo empeorarán con el tiempo. No puedo permitirme ir a vivir a otro lugar e incluso si lo hiciera, todavía moriría solo y con dolor algún día dentro de 20, 30 o 40 años. Entonces, ¿por qué esperar a que llegue el gran dolor de la vejez cuando ahora puedo deshacerme de todo ello? Si supiera cómo porque aparentemente no es tan fácil suicidarse como lo muestran en las películas y programas de televisión.

¿Y las pastillas para la presión arterial? Estoy pensando en esa opción para mí.

 

[Valso]

¿Y las pastillas para la presión arterial? Estoy pensando en esa opción para mí.

Interesting. My mom takes those, I had no idea they could help with our cases.

 

[Sra. Grey]

Interesante. Mi mamá los toma, no tenía idea de que pudieran ayudar con nuestros casos.

Pero no puede ser una pastilla cualquiera, tiene que ser una que baje la presión porque hay muchas que la suben.
My sister is a doctor so I know, here in my country it is easy to buy the pills, I don't know in your country.

 

[Valso]

Pero no puede ser una pastilla cualquiera, tiene que ser una que baje la presión porque hay muchas que la suben.
My sister is a doctor so I know, here in my country it is easy to buy the pills, I don't know in your country.

This is what my mom takes, IDK whether they raise or lower the BP.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This is what my mom takes, IDK whether they raise or lower the BP.

View attachment 132450

163 mg/kg (LD50, Mouse, oral, Hydrochlorid (Source: Wikipedia)

In addition they r "retarded" means slow release, it's very hard to OD on retarded / slow release meds.

 

[leyl]

Yes, I tried twice already and it didn't work. If it had, I wouldn't be here or anywhere else.
Hollywood keeps telling us that a large dose of sleeping pills + alcohol equals dying in your sleep. Even in the user manual for sleeping pills it reads not to combine them with alcohol, altough for what reasons - that they don't say.
So... trusting Hollywood I took 2 bottles (about 120 pills) of Rivotril 2 mg and downed them with a whole bottle of red wine. The result was that I slept for 16 hours and woke up fresher than ever. So I doubled the doses of both pills and wine, slept for 25 hours and woke up like nothing happened.
There are 2 possible reasons why that didn't work:
1. My organism doesn't react the same way to Rivotril as the organism of anyone else bc since childhood I've had epilepsy and I've had to take different types of pills for that. So for my attemts to work I'd probably have to down a truckload of those pills with a truckload of wine which is impossible cuz my stomach ain't that big and will most probably throw it all up back long before the effects kick in.
2. Hollywood simply lied for effect and not knowing what else to use as a suicide method.

I also tried with Ricin beans and poisonous mushrooms but those were a major failure - I threw up both within half an hour and the most I got was a prolonged stomachache.

Unlike what you prob. think, I'm not trying to end myself for kicks or because of mental illness. I'm just tired of living. My parents and my sister think I'm their personal steward, the woman for me doesn't exist, I already have half a dozen other genetic problems, inherited from my father which will only get worse with time. I can't afford to go to live somewhere else and even if I did, I'd still die alone and in pain some day 20-30-40 years from now. So why wait for the grand pain of old age to come when I could get rid of it all now? If only I knew how cuz apparently it's not as easy to kill yourself as they show it on movies and tv shows.

I've attempted about 10 times now (most in a row) and yeah i remember thinking to myself "…i can't even kill myself properly?". The media always makes it seem to easy "You take a few pills overboard and you're dead, be careful!" but then you try and nothing? I don't have any conditions that'd make me immune to pills or anything, but my body just refuses to die. It feels kinda pathetic sometimes ngl

 

[Valso]

I've attempted about 10 times now (most in a row) and yeah i remember thinking to myself "…i can't even kill myself properly?". The media always makes it seem to easy "You take a few pills overboard and you're dead, be careful!" but then you try and nothing? I don't have any conditions that'd make me immune to pills or anything, but my body just refuses to die. It feels kinda pathetic sometimes ngl

Looks like only the messy, loud and probably painful ways are easy. If you want a quiet and peaceful death in your sleep, that's a mission impossible or if it isn't, only a handful can achieve it.

 

[Valso]

163 mg/kg (LD50, Mouse, oral, Hydrochlorid (Source: Wikipedia)

In addition they r "retarded" means slow release, it's very hard to OD on retarded / slow release meds.

These on the picture are. It's just the only decent picture I could find in English.
I was gonna say my mom's pills don't have that "retarded" word in their name and the box is 2-3 times thinner than that but then I saw a box in my native language and what it reads below the main name means the same.