Why is suicide so frowned upon?

[ARawYouth]

As the title says. I've always known I'd die by suicide one day. If not now, then I'm doing it before I get so old my nieces and nephews will feel burdened with caring for me. Why not decide how and when we die? Why are we called cowards for taking our life into our own hands? It makes me think of that book, The Giver. When people got too old, they chose to be euthanized. They had a nice little party to say good bye, and they died on their terms. When I read it when I was like 12, I thought it was an awful idea. But now that I'm 22, I don't see why suicide is such a taboo topic, or why it's considered "the easy way out". How many times have we all held a gun in our hands, working up the courage to put it to our heads and pull the trigger? Or parked our car on a boat ramp and stared at the water, our foot stuck between the gas and the break. Or stood on the edge of a building roof, looking down at all the people who will never be bothered whether we live or die?

It also bothers me that "pro choice" people when it comes to abortion will also call the cops on you if you even breathe the word suicide, and have you committed into a hospital. It just seems ironic to me, that they're pro choice when it comes to terminating a fetus or cutting an infant's foreskin, but when it comes to deciding when and how you'll die, it's the worst thing you could ever say.

I don't want to grow old and die a long, painful death of cancer. I don't want to so old and frail that I can't walk my own dogs, or become that great aunt that everyone forgets to visit or text. And hell, if I want to make the nightmares and voices from the past stop keeping me awake at night because of my CPTSD, then why the hell shouldn't I be able to do that? People say I need to keep fighting. But for what? Two therapist have told me that I may very well have symptoms for the rest of my life. Nightmares, anxiety at the slightest trigger, being unable to have any healthy relationships because I'm too damaged, the constant self-hatred. Why should I have to deal with that for the rest of my life? I have no hope of a normal life. Yet they'll tell me I can't give in and kill myself, that I have to keep on. But why, when there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel for me? I've never felt free enough to ask a therapist this. The mere mention of the S word will have their finger on the phone to have you involuntarily committed. And that is why therapy will never work for me. If I can't be honest, then how the hell is it going to help?

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening. It's nice to be with likeminded people.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

There is nothing cowardly about ctb. In fact, suicide is the one of the hardest things anyone can do. I don't believe it is selfish either since we alone are responsible for our lives. I think the topic of suicide and death in general is taboo because all living creatures are hardwired for two things: survival and breeding. Suicide kind of goes against our deepest biological programming.

Not all lives are worth living but society will never admit it. This website is a great place to speak your mind and to listen to others who are going through similar experiences. Like you said you can't have an honest conversation about suicide without becoming a social pariah or worse forcibly institutionalized.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I have no idea.

My only real trouble is that I keep actually caring about them frowning on it. If I was real smart, I'd stop caring about that and focus on what the hell I truly want. Then if I really want out, I need to get out. But I still right now care way too much about what they think.

Can I make life worth it for me? Probably not at this point. I never wanted it, don't like it and would like to get out of it. I'm 39 now, did what I wanted. It all mostly either sucked or it sucks now. I just don't really enjoy any of it. Time to go, but I'm way too stupid.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Can I make life worth it for me? Probably not at this point. I never wanted it, don't like it and would like to get out of it. I'm 39 now, did what I wanted. It all mostly either sucked or it sucks now. I just don't really enjoy any of it. Time to go, but I'm way too stupid.

I hate how society pretends that everyone can just start fresh at any age. It is hard enough to stay afloat much less restart your life. I think it is a good idea to explore different possibilities before you ctb. But after a certain point you kind of get an understanding of how life works.

I don't think there is any shame in calling it quits early. After all death is something we all have to face eventually. Only you can make this decision, whatever it may be. It is definitely hard though.

 

[Ta555]

As the title says. I've always known I'd die by suicide one day. If not now, then I'm doing it before I get so old my nieces and nephews will feel burdened with caring for me. Why not decide how and when we die? Why are we called cowards for taking our life into our own hands? It makes me think of that book, The Giver. When people got too old, they chose to be euthanized. They had a nice little party to say good bye, and they died on their terms. When I read it when I was like 12, I thought it was an awful idea. But now that I'm 22, I don't see why suicide is such a taboo topic, or why it's considered "the easy way out". How many times have we all held a gun in our hands, working up the courage to put it to our heads and pull the trigger? Or parked our car on a boat ramp and stared at the water, our foot stuck between the gas and the break. Or stood on the edge of a building roof, looking down at all the people who will never be bothered whether we live or die?

It also bothers me that "pro choice" people when it comes to abortion will also call the cops on you if you even breathe the word suicide, and have you committed into a hospital. It just seems ironic to me, that they're pro choice when it comes to terminating a fetus or cutting an infant's foreskin, but when it comes to deciding when and how you'll die, it's the worst thing you could ever say.

I don't want to grow old and die a long, painful death of cancer. I don't want to so old and frail that I can't walk my own dogs, or become that great aunt that everyone forgets to visit or text. And hell, if I want to make the nightmares and voices from the past stop keeping me awake at night because of my CPTSD, then why the hell shouldn't I be able to do that? People say I need to keep fighting. But for what? Two therapist have told me that I may very well have symptoms for the rest of my life. Nightmares, anxiety at the slightest trigger, being unable to have any healthy relationships because I'm too damaged, the constant self-hatred. Why should I have to deal with that for the rest of my life? I have no hope of a normal life. Yet they'll tell me I can't give in and kill myself, that I have to keep on. But why, when there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel for me? I've never felt free enough to ask a therapist this. The mere mention of the S word will have their finger on the phone to have you involuntarily committed. And that is why therapy will never work for me. If I can't be honest, then how the hell is it going to help?

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening. It's nice to be with likeminded people.

These are my thoughts exactly. Like word for word. Thank you. Someone gets it. (Well all you lovely people on this site get it.)
I think it's because it's scary for people who've never had major or traumatic issues to admit that things can get so bad you want to CTB. They want to pretend it doesn't happen so they don't have to fear about it happening to them. And yeah, that's exactly the thing about therapists. You can never be totally honest or you'll have your freedom and rights taken away from you. Fucking hell.

 

[bed]

it goes against everything the human body and most species are programmed to do - survive.
I believe that is where it all stems from at the core.

 

[Conker]

There is nothing cowardly about ctb. In fact, suicide is the one of the hardest things anyone can do. I don't believe it is selfish either since we alone are responsible for our lives. I think the topic of suicide and death in general is taboo because all living creatures are hardwired for two things: survival and breeding. Suicide kind of goes against our deepest biological programming.

Not all lives are worth living but society will never admit it. This website is a great place to speak your mind and to listen to others who are going through similar experiences. Like you said you can't have an honest conversation about suicide without becoming a social pariah or worse forcibly institutionalized.

"A society that keeps cures a secret so they can continue to sell medication for huge profits is not a real society but a huge mental asylum." – Dr. Sebi

 

[Bleak]

I think it's genuinely hard to conceive of someone else's pain, particularly if you haven't experienced it, but sometimes even then. And in purely physical terms, death is extremely ugly and boring isn't it? A bloated corpse that can no longer move, speak, create. Most people are primarily interested in the physical world I think. Even in extreme illness or disfigurement, some may still prefer that to being a corpse. And of course there is the whole fabric of society thing, and religion.

 

[Datguyohmy]

In general, people would much prefer to ignore the ugly and raw realities of pain and misery. Because if we don't acknowledge it, it must not exist.

Talking about suicide and ending a life filled with that level of pain and misery takes away the opportunity for blissful ignorance. It forces one to reconcile their intentionally oblivious outlook with the reality that sometimes a person hurts so much that ending a life is a better option than enduring it.

And that is too much for some to be willing to look at, let alone acknowledge or understand.

Just my two cents...

 

[stupidlife666]

Because society needs people to keep breeding and keep buying things

 

[little helpers]

Because society needs people to keep breeding and keep buying things

because those who profit from all that breeding and buying are alive, ironically.

death is a protest in and of itself.

 

[blueclover_.]

As the title says. I've always known I'd die by suicide one day. If not now, then I'm doing it before I get so old my nieces and nephews will feel burdened with caring for me. Why not decide how and when we die? Why are we called cowards for taking our life into our own hands? It makes me think of that book, The Giver. When people got too old, they chose to be euthanized. They had a nice little party to say good bye, and they died on their terms. When I read it when I was like 12, I thought it was an awful idea. But now that I'm 22, I don't see why suicide is such a taboo topic, or why it's considered "the easy way out". How many times have we all held a gun in our hands, working up the courage to put it to our heads and pull the trigger? Or parked our car on a boat ramp and stared at the water, our foot stuck between the gas and the break. Or stood on the edge of a building roof, looking down at all the people who will never be bothered whether we live or die?

It also bothers me that "pro choice" people when it comes to abortion will also call the cops on you if you even breathe the word suicide, and have you committed into a hospital. It just seems ironic to me, that they're pro choice when it comes to terminating a fetus or cutting an infant's foreskin, but when it comes to deciding when and how you'll die, it's the worst thing you could ever say.

I don't want to grow old and die a long, painful death of cancer. I don't want to so old and frail that I can't walk my own dogs, or become that great aunt that everyone forgets to visit or text. And hell, if I want to make the nightmares and voices from the past stop keeping me awake at night because of my CPTSD, then why the hell shouldn't I be able to do that? People say I need to keep fighting. But for what? Two therapist have told me that I may very well have symptoms for the rest of my life. Nightmares, anxiety at the slightest trigger, being unable to have any healthy relationships because I'm too damaged, the constant self-hatred. Why should I have to deal with that for the rest of my life? I have no hope of a normal life. Yet they'll tell me I can't give in and kill myself, that I have to keep on. But why, when there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel for me? I've never felt free enough to ask a therapist this. The mere mention of the S word will have their finger on the phone to have you involuntarily committed. And that is why therapy will never work for me. If I can't be honest, then how the hell is it going to help?

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening. It's nice to be with likeminded people.

Because most people are driven by their animalistic, primal, biological urge to prolong life. Genes keep mutating until the ones that are suitable for survival are the ones that are left behind in this world, including those that are responsible for survival and reproduction instincts. For example, bacterias only goal is to eat and breed. It is the same for humans, although we are capable of logical thinking and complex emotions, humans are still mammals with the same instincts as apes. Work, marry, have enough food and kids--that is the perfect life for most people. Yet none of them could explain why we should eat, why we should live, why we should have kids because the answer is simple; those are our primal instincts. Even though they know life is full of suffering, they still follow their intincts mindlessly. Because most people are too lazy to think through the meaning of life--which is objectively nothing, thus not realizing that procreating is cruelty. Creating a child to suffer meaninglessly in this world because your ape brain wanted that is cruelty.

And for people like me, succumbing to those instincts are so dehumanizing and takes away freedom of thoughts. Who am i if my thoughts are controlled by an illogical urge to do certain things like eating and breeding? Morally, how can you create another consciousnes which you know too well may suffer from all the horrible things in life? Having kids is either a result of stupidity or cruelty. The former case happens when the parents are unable to think past their primal instincts, just like most people. The later happens when the parent/s actually knew that life is horrible and yet they still, selfishly, create another being into this world because following their instincts makes them feel good and they know that.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Historically the demand for labor was high and all vested interests had an incentive to keep you alive to keep their economic systems running. Imagine you were living in a moslem shithole during the early Islamic empires - they always needed more bodies to send to war. This is speculation but even in the past they probably didn't want old people to CTB because it would let the young know that was an option and they would be out of the labor force

 

[Talvikki]

Because it is forbidden in the tenach, the bible and the quran.
This world is poisoned by jewish, christian and islamic worldviews.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Because it is forbidden in the tenach, the bible and the quran.
This world is poisoned by jewish, christian and islamic worldviews.

"This world is poisoned by jewish, christian and islamic worldviews."

Wonderful quote !!!

 

[FuneralCry]

I think many people live under a delusion that life is always worth living, they are in denial of the fact that things can get that hopeless that one would consider ctb. They therefore dismiss all those who want to ctb as being irrational. Suicide should not be so stigmatised, wanting to die can be perfectly rational in a life as horrible as this. It is our life, our decision and it is nothing to do with anyone else.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Because it is forbidden in the tenach, the bible and the quran.
This world is poisoned by jewish, christian and islamic worldviews.

Religious organizations and governments have a vested interest in sustaining and expanding their followers/subjects. More people means more power and influence.

 

[sharky]

Death and especially suicide are viewed as bad because on the other hand life is seen as good, although it can be the other way around for some people. Most people don't really think about the stuff that most of us on here do, a mind that isn't depressed or hopeless will most likely never think about what suffering people feel and think. What I find pretty weird is that most people would rather have people live and suffer for years and years, instead of letting other people decide what is best for them, to ultimately be at peace.

 

[Ta555]

Because it is forbidden in the tenach, the bible and the quran.
This world is poisoned by jewish, christian and islamic worldviews.

Actually suicide is not forbidden in the Bible. That rule was added later in Christianity coz so many Christians kept killing themselves to get to sky daddy.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Your question has a baked in assumption that doesn't always hold: medically assisted suicide is widely supported in many Western countries. Suicide is not always frowned upon. Though one can debate if suicide among the terminally ill is really suicide, any more than jumping out of a burning building is.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Just about everything I do is frowned upon anyway so it really is dumb for me to care about them frowning on this.

I'm pretty much a lone wolf, miser who enjoys nothing, but I chew and spit food a lot. Nobody likes that either. Everything I did in life was against the norms. Didn't marry, didn't go to the prom, the dance. The older I get, the more I don't like sports, politics, TV.
I want peace and quiet, and I think death is the best way to get it. I spend time in cemeteries envying the dead and in the afternoons I like to casket shop on the internet.

 

[deflationary]

@blueclover_. said it pretty much perfectly imo. It ultimately comes down to evolution. All biological life out of necessity has a pro-life bias. And evolution gives very little incentive for anyone to question that bias. So it flourishes unchecked. People haven't questioned or even noticed the bias in themselves and so they feel confident in dismissing anyone in whom the bias is weakened as crazy. There's no societal understanding or discussion of the existence of such a bias. What there are instead are all sorts of religious ideas and philosophies that try to paint life as something noble and wonderful. Because that makes us feel good and works in favor of evolution.

This inherent pro-life bias is such a basic and obvious fact that anyone that doesn't take it into account is just not worth listening to on this question. There's no point in trying to make sense of human behavior without thinking of the evolutionary pressures that act upon us.

 

[stupidlife666]

Just about everything I do is frowned upon anyway so it really is dumb for me to care about them frowning on this.

I'm pretty much a lone wolf, miser who enjoys nothing, but I chew and spit food a lot. Nobody likes that either. Everything I did in life was against the norms. Didn't marry, didn't go to the prom, the dance. The older I get, the more I don't like sports, politics, TV.
I want peace and quiet, and I think death is the best way to get it. I spend time in cemeteries envying the dead and in the afternoons I like to casket shop on the internet.

Sounds like I could've weitten that.
Fuvk the norm . It's only about scarcity and caring what others think... its pathetic

 

[greyautumnsky]

I honestly think it's because we're expected to provide for capitalism. If we can just... opt out. God? Morals? What?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

By and large, society is offended by death because they elevate life to be the most "precious" thing we have. Suicide seems unnatural to them because it cuts short conscious experience, which they idolize and cannot do without.

 

[YourNeighbor]

@blueclover_. said it pretty much perfectly imo. It ultimately comes down to evolution. All biological life out of necessity has a pro-life bias. And evolution gives very little incentive for anyone to question that bias. So it flourishes unchecked. People haven't questioned or even noticed the bias in themselves and so they feel confident in dismissing anyone in whom the bias is weakened as crazy. There's no societal understanding or discussion of the existence of such a bias. What there are instead are all sorts of religious ideas and philosophies that try to paint life as something noble and wonderful. Because that makes us feel good and works in favor of evolution.

This inherent pro-life bias is such a basic and obvious fact that anyone that doesn't take it into account is just not worth listening to on this question. There's no point in trying to make sense of human behavior without thinking of the evolutionary pressures that act upon us.

Evolution may be part of the answer, but it's not so simple as evolution -->"pro-life bias." Evolution makes each of us want to pass on our genes more than having a "pro-life" bias for everyone. Another's suicide wouldn't diminish the chances of passing on genes, unless a survivor was dependent on the dead person. All sorts of animals are perfectly fine with killing other competitors, for example.

I think the answer lies more with our general capacity for empathy, also an artefact of evolution. Seeing/knowing that others suffer is not pleasant for most, and so most people wish others did not suffer. Suicide doesn't solve that dilemma, as it causes survivors to suffer. A related explanation would be that, because as social animals we depend on society for survival, seeing things like suicide that highlight society's shortcomings can be distressing.

 

[Rational man]

And yet society allows needless deaths through negligence, wars ,etc. So much for the sanctity of life.

 

[deflationary]

Evolution may be part of the answer, but it's not so simple as evolution -->"pro-life bias. Evolution makes each of us want to pass on our genes more than having a "pro-life" bias for everyone. Another's suicide wouldn't diminish the chances of passing on genes, unless a suevivor was dependent on the dead person. All sorts of animals are perfectly fine with killing other competitors, for example.

Sorry, I don't think I expressed myself completely clearly. My point wasn't that the pro-life bias is there mainly to make us stop other people from committing suicide. I think that's more of a side effect. The bias first and foremost makes us see our own lives and their continuance as this amazingly important thing. Applying that to other people is a further step, at least partly inspired by (an attempt at) empathy, like you said. But that that's the form that this empathy takes is part of the bias. We (most people) see our own lives as these wonderfully important things to continue and think that's some sort of an objective truth and can't help but also apply the same thinking to other people's lives. The mistake is in thinking that that's the height of empathy. On the flipside, admitting that the mere continuance of other people's lives isn't this cosmically important thing also undermines all of the myths that we make use of to convince ourselves that our own lives are important to continue.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Sorry, I don't think I expressed myself completely clearly. My point wasn't that the pro-life bias is there mainly to make us stop other people from committing suicide. I think that's more of a side effect. The bias first and foremost makes us see our own lives and their continuance as this amazingly important thing. Applying that to other people is a further step, at least partly inspired by (an attempt at) empathy, like you said. But that that's the form that this empathy takes is part of the bias. We (most people) see our own lives as these wonderfully important things to continue and think that's some sort of an objective truth and can't help but also apply the same thinking to other people's lives. The mistake is in thinking that that's the height of empathy. On the flipside, admitting that the mere continuance of other people's lives isn't this cosmically important thing also undermines all of the myths that we make use of to convince ourselves that our own lives are important to continue.

I don't know that most people have this magical view of life that is ascribed to "pro-lifers." (A term that is rarely defined here, and leads to a lot of people talking past each other.) If a "pro-lifer" is one who thinks suicide is always wrong, that group of people is a relatively small, if vocal, minority. It's an easy straw man to take down, which seems to make it an attractive target here.

I think most people have a much more nuanced view of suicide. In objectively hopeless situations, many people can understand a suicide and don't "frown upon" it as much.

But, given that most suicidal people get out of suicidality without attempting, and most who attempt and survive do not ultimately kill themselves, it is reasonable to generally be skeptical toward suicide, and to presume that, absent more info, suicide in any given case probably could have been avoided.

Even where suicide is objectively the best course of action (probably a small minority of cases where it takes place), it is nothing to celebrate and is appropriately lamented.

 

[deflationary]

I don't know that most people have this magical view of life that is ascribed to "pro-lifers." (A term that is rarely defined here, and leads to a lot of people talking past each other.) If a "pro-lifer" is one who thinks suicide is always wrong, that group of people is a relatively small, if vocal, minority. It's an easy straw man to take down, which seems to make it an attractive target here.

I think most people have a much more nuanced view of suicide. In objectively hopeless situations, many people can understand a suicide and don't "frown upon" it as much.

But, given that most suicidal people get out of suicidality without attempting, and most who attempt and survive do not ultimately kill themselves, it is reasonable to generally be skeptical toward suicide, and to presume that, absent more info, suicide in any given case probably could have been avoided.

Even where suicide is objectively the best course of action (probably a small minority of cases where it takes place), it is nothing to celebrate and is appropriately lamented.

Not being suicidal isn't equal to life being good either. That kind of thinking is just another part of the bias.