Why is it that shortly before my birthday I feel so low,depressed,sick and ideation worsens..

[Still here]

Hello pals,

Please consider the title above.. A few days before my birthday I tend to fall sick and feel miserable all the time, i am demotivated the whole day even simple tasks like eating feels like hell let alone going to work... I also have like flashbacks,things that happened in the past and I turn out to be too suicidal.. is this normal??? Or it could be some underlying issue......