Venting why is it so hard to ever be in a good mood

[rabbit_feet]

for christs sake, I just want to be happy. Why is that so hard? What higher being did I piss off that I am just stuck feeling like things are hopeless?
I don't want to feel like this. I know I'm capable of positive emotions and thoughts and feelings, so why? Why can't I feel anything other than pain right now?
Hell, I'd rather be numb. I wish i could just not feel anything at all.
And the worst part is, I can't even come up with a reason for why I'm feeling this way. Nothing has even happened! I haven't fought with anyone I care about, I haven't lost anyone dear to me in several months. Every day of my life has been neutral, or even good! So why?? Why can't I just figure it out?

 

[Illidan77]

perhaps you can do small things that you like but don't put much pressure to it. or something different from your daily routine.

well for me, most of the time it's the numb feeling kinda like paralyzed, sometimes just like very in a low mood but i can feel good mood for just a little time probably when i go exercise, play a game, watch movie / series, music or talking with friend (irl & online). but then sometimes those doesn't work too. idk it's kinda random too, i blame it on long term use of benzo but not sure if that's only the case.
but i imagine it's better than feeling pain all the time and that your issue is bigger than mine.

idk.. perhaps you can do journaling.. or do something different not necessarily big things. endorphin, serotonin related stuff but i'm not sure.
sorry if it's not helping.

 

[rabbit_feet]

perhaps you can do small things that you like but don't put much pressure to it. or something different from your daily routine.

well for me, most of the time it's the numb feeling kinda like paralyzed, sometimes just like very in a low mood but i can feel good mood for just a little time probably when i go exercise, play a game, watch movie / series, music or talking with friend (irl & online). but then sometimes those doesn't work too. idk it's kinda random too, i blame it on long term use of benzo but not sure if that's only the case.
but i imagine it's better than feeling pain all the time and that your issue is bigger than mine.

idk.. perhaps you can do journaling.. or do something different not necessarily big things. endorphin, serotonin related stuff but i'm not sure.
sorry if it's not helping.

Thank you for the suggestions I honestly do think I need a change in my daily routine I'm just not sure what, or when I would be able to make such a change. I've been feeling so down lately that I've had no energy or motivation to do things even within my usual routine.

 

[Illidan77]

I have the same issue with no energy too.. it can took like many hours just to get me to take shower. kinda have to force myself, so i often skip the 'doing something different' which is why not to put much pressure.
hmm.. i think might be something related to your interests or something you would like to do or even something related with your current routine but like add a twist like i often distracted with trying new apps on my phone and i plan to blog about it but i haven't done that lol..
but oh well when in very low mood state (feeling down), all just seems pointless. I think no need to rush it (think or search about it, just write it down on paper).

 

[Viranamari]

Being numb has its disadvantages and personally, it wasn't a good experience for me. But at the same time, I get where you're coming from. Feeling depressed for no reason is just so tiring. Many methods can make you happy but unfortunately, they never worked for me. But it might do for you. You should first consider changing your routine. Try doing something that you like. (If you have any) For example, you can read your favourite storybook or maybe watch your favourite show(preferably comedy since it might make you smile or laugh). Or you can try talking to your family or friends. (if you have any or are close to them). Getting out of this feeling is certainly so difficult as it takes a lot of effort. Anyways, I hope this helps.

 

[SilentSadness]

I have little energy either, eventually after experiencing sadness and no happiness you will become numb to it as I have. Life is so exhausting and we have to spend so much time doing things we hate in the petty search for happiness. I think happiness is an illusion and there is just enough to convince people that it's worthwhile. I rarely experience it and mostly just feel tired and sad, there's not much to be happy about at the end of the day. I don't see why people think I have to be here when I don't want to, all I want a peaceful and quick death and to be forgotten. I hope you find peace though.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really doubt that there is such a thing as true happiness in this world where there is no real relief from suffering. But of course it really can be so tiring feeling trapped here, life certainly is so unnecessarily cruel. There could never be anything fair about existing in a world where people suffer all through no fault of their own.