Venting Why is it just getting worse

[cookiencream]

My mental state just keeps getting worse and worse. I don't know how much more I can take. Idk if I can even kill myself. The idea of no longer existing feels scary to me and peaceful at the same time. This is making my mental health worse because there feels like no escape. Even if I feel better it'll only be temporary. That's how life works. I don't even know what it means to recover. Life won't stop sucking or being unfair so what exactly am I recovering from? An appropriate reaction to my surroundings? I hate being scared of the only thing that would set me free. I wish I succeeded on my first attempt. If I'm not bad enough to end it what do I need to do? Start drinking? Do drugs? Make bad relationship decisions? I just want to sleep and not wake up. I don't want to fucking hang myself.

 

[Unicron]

I understand completely, I feel exactly the same. I just don't want to be here either and wish I could never wake up.

 

[bloominghopelessne]

I think you are now going through a period in life that may last quite a long time, a kind of inactivity. But during this time, fantasies and impulses to take action appear in your mind, along with other things that frighten you. This is happening to me right now. I believe it has happened to everyone in some way. This fear will not always be here. The method you mentioned is also my last one, but unfortunately it is almost the only one available to me, and together with SI it feels like a trap. I don't want tomorrow to come; I want to stay in yesterday.

 

[cookiencream]

I think you are now going through a period in life that may last quite a long time, a kind of inactivity. But during this time, fantasies and impulses to take action appear in your mind, along with other things that frighten you. This is happening to me right now. I believe it has happened to everyone in some way. This fear will not always be here. The method you mentioned is also my last one, but unfortunately it is almost the only one available to me, and together with SI it feels like a trap. I don't want tomorrow to come; I want to stay in yesterday.

I don't want tomorrow to come, even though I hate today. At least I know what happens today. I want to try to kms Friday but I don't know if I have the strength to. I want someone to encourage me but it's against the rules...

 

[Eternal Disaster]

I understand. I am also getting worse as expected. Neither I want to sleep nor I want to eat .The idea of killing myself is peaceful but idk why am I still waiting.
Hanging is the easiest method for me but it's scary. The process of tying the knot and putting it around my neck is scary. I am tired of this hell.

 

[cookiencream]

I understand. I am also getting worse as expected. Neither I want to sleep nor I want to eat .The idea of killing myself is peaceful but idk why am I still waiting.
Hanging is the easiest method for me but it's scary. The process of tying the knot and putting it around my neck is scary. I am tired of this hell.

Exactly why is hanging so scary. It's all so scary. I'm scared but I'm tired of this hell
I wish someone killed me, or I get a cancer diagnosis something anything. I don't trust myself to hang myself. I hate this

 

[Off_Switch]

It's pure torture. Anxiety and panic-inducing torture.

 

[cookiencream]

I hate myself. I'm jealous of people who managed to do it. So so jealous. I want there to be another method. I need there to be. I'm honestly begging atp. I want a method to destroy my brain instantly

I hate myself. I'm jealous of people who managed to do it. So so jealous. I want there to be another method. I need there to be. I'm honestly begging atp. I want a method to destroy my brain instantly

Or I want a way to get rid of SI. Tonight I'll be experimenting with alcohol so let's see how that goes.

 

[Nightfoot]

I hate myself. I'm jealous of people who managed to do it. So so jealous. I want there to be another method. I need there to be. I'm honestly begging atp. I want a method to destroy my brain instantly

Or I want a way to get rid of SI. Tonight I'll be experimenting with alcohol so let's see how that goes.

Alcohol can be tricky. Just enough might lower inhibitions, but too much can screw things up. I'm sorry you're suffering so much and hope relief for you.

 

[shiba]

I feel the same. My mental state is so awful and it gets worse the longer I wait.

 

[Busridin'26]

Hard relate to every word in this thread.