Discussion Why is everything in life so difficult? 😞 even if you used to have good plans.

[Waiting for death]

When I was having a normal life while I was at school, I had some positive and good vibes about a bright future. My school teachers and principal used to praise me, so I created some good expectations. Now, I'm 26 years old, I've been depressed for more than fifteen years, I was suffering from depression but I wasn't aware about my mental health, for me depression used to be rubbish and I used to judge suicidal and depressed people. Now I'm being punished and I'm feeling the same way as those who committed suicide, I used to laugh and make fun of the people who ctb, now I'm losing faith to live. Every day I try to harm myself drinking poison or tying a towel with an intention to choke and pass out. I don't want to be envious of people who is succeeding in my family, so I want to leave this shit life. Nothing makes sense anymore, even taking a breath sometimes is hard for me. I feel lazy and I do my chores with some effort. Life is worthless!

I deserve to be punished!
I feel sorry for judging people in my past.

 

[Aim]

When I was having a normal life while I was at school, I had some positive and good vibes about a bright future. My school teachers and principal used to praise me, so I created some good expectations. Now, I'm 26 years old, I've been depressed for more than fifteen years, I was suffering from depression but I wasn't aware about my mental health, for me depression used to be rubbish and I used to judge suicidal and depressed people. Now I'm being punished and I'm feeling the same way as those who committed suicide, I used to laugh and make fun of the people who ctb, now I'm losing faith to live. Every day I try to harm myself drinking poison or tying a towel with an intention to choke and pass out. I don't want to be envious of people who is succeeding in my family, so I want to leave this shit life. Nothing makes sense anymore, even taking a breath sometimes is hard for me. I feel lazy and I do my chores with some effort. Life is worthless!

I deserve to be punished!
I feel sorry for judging people in my past.

Hey, im very very sorry for how you feel. Having judgemental feeling towards one self can be very hard to process. But. you are very hard on yourself. Everyone judges sometimes. And everyone makes mistakes. It does NOT make you deserve to die! AT ALL. Please trust me when I say this. it's a blessing that we can get aware of our thoughts, failures etc etc. This is how we grow as people. Self awareness is almost like the first key to success. That's how we learn and grow.

When I was having a normal life while I was at school, I had some positive and good vibes about a bright future. My school teachers and principal used to praise me, so I created some good expectations. Now, I'm 26 years old, I've been depressed for more than fifteen years, I was suffering from depression but I wasn't aware about my mental health, for me depression used to be rubbish and I used to judge suicidal and depressed people. Now I'm being punished and I'm feeling the same way as those who committed suicide, I used to laugh and make fun of the people who ctb, now I'm losing faith to live. Every day I try to harm myself drinking poison or tying a towel with an intention to choke and pass out. I don't want to be envious of people who is succeeding in my family, so I want to leave this shit life. Nothing makes sense anymore, even taking a breath sometimes is hard for me. I feel lazy and I do my chores with some effort. Life is worthless!

I deserve to be punished!
I feel sorry for judging people in my past.