Venting Why is everyone else getting by? What is wrong with me??

[Neptunette]

Everything gets harder and harder everyday. I thought all of this was just some teenager nonsense, hormones and all that. But it gets stronger everyday and I know I have to die soon. I will turn 20 in October and I know it won't get better. Realistically, I can ctb in two years the earliest. Right now I still have some friends, I want us to grow apart first. I don't want to burden anyone. I just want to be forgotten. What was even the point of this life? I hope that I will finally find peace through sweet death, I wasn't meant for life. To comfort myself and make the prospect of pain less intimidating, I imagine the threshold between life and death to feel like you're finally falling asleep after many sleepless nights. All the weight on your chest will be lifted by the knowledge that you won't ever have to wake up again.

 

[Worndown]

Welcome to being your age. Responsibilities and problems grow.
I hope you can get through the next couple years.
If you die, those that like you now will be sad then. No way to avoid that. We touch others even if we do not want to.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes it's more that people give the impression that they are doing ok when really- they're not. We're not exactly encouraged to show weakness in this world. I used to think that everyone had more confidence than I did. It shocked me when I talked to other people and found they were full of insecurities too. So- some of it I think is just the image people present of themselves to fit in and not be picked on.

I think it's also that when you're young (comparitively,) there's a lot more competition. People my age- in their 40's seem more willing to admit that certain things in life aren't going to plan! That's my experience but I guess I've always been 'lucky' enough to be around similar people who have been honest about struggling in life.

Are all of your friends seemingly ok then? Not going to lie. Some people do seem more ok and together in life than others. I think it has a fair bit to do with confidence- not just ability. Life is so much harder I think when you are not only fighting to get by in this world but also fighting your own doubts about yourself.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I think we get better at hiding it as we grow old.
Or, people are evolving to be more distant with each other even if they are physically near.