Venting Why Im Here

[Morbiddy]

I'll keep it brief. Little sister drowned, found body, tried to save her, PTSD, alcoholism--severe depression to the point of immobility for 6 months. Overcome that, finish high school through intense effort, start working, lost 80 pounds--hit by chronic pain that is probably genetic. I am in so much pain every day, no one knows why, it has only gotten somewhat better after 1+ year. No energy for life. I give up. Additional issues--executive functioning, social, anxiety issues, academia is a latrine, can't do the things I enjoy--even online due to pain, can't have a family and risk cursing someone else.

Thing about dying is it's a lot harder than living. Looking into 7g of DPH as tiredofpplfaking2 was able to succumb to 6.9g of DPH even with heavy prior use. I am not scared of passively caused pain; I am not scared of death.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, it must be tiring what you are going through, it really is such a cruel existence. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Morbiddy]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, it must be tiring what you are going through, it really is such a cruel existence. But anyway best wishes.

Bumped it up to 10g, just to be sure. Also using belts and tape to secure my mouth closed so I dont vomit anything up, not eating or drinking as well. Should def CTB. This will be my last day.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope you find peace.

 

[Forveleth]

Also using belts and tape to secure my mouth closed so I dont vomit anything up

FYI, this isn't going to prevent you from vomiting. The vomit will just sit in your mouth and you could potentially choke to death on it, which would be, I'm guessing, way less pleasant than the method you're aiming for.