glengarryglenross
New Member
- Nov 5, 2025
- 1
I am 21 years old and afflicted with severe ADHD, debilitating executive function disorder that has ruined my life over the past 10 years. I am 6'3, and 114 pounds. Additionally, I'm the product of an illegitimate (in my opinion) narcissistic relationship. My father, who was an unsuccessful bachelor, with no relationship experience until his late 20s - early 30s, met my mother on an online dating platform sometime in the early 2000s.
My mother is a Black woman from California, my father is a German man who immigrated in 1997. They were both in their early 30s when they met, and they married in 2002. They had me in 2004. The first 10 years of my life were normal, fine and dandy. I have a brother born in 2006, and two twin sisters born in 2013. Everything changed in 2015 when Donald Trump's campaign began (this post is not intended to be political).
A war began within my home, my father as a liberal democrat began to spar constantly with my mother, who somehow as a Black woman went from a Democrat to a MAGA zealot. After my sisters were born, she dedicated her entire life to MAGA. She began obsessively watching Fox News, OAN, Newsmax, and engaging in online arguments. Every single day, for the entire length of Trump's first term, there were severe, violent, and debilitating arguments. These arguments resulted in police visiting our house on at least two occasions. My mother is now a complete zombie, always with a pair of wireless earbuds in her ears, listening to political slop and drivel. She does nothing but scroll her mindless propaganda, and my father never divorced her because he didn't want to deal with it.
The resulting fallout essentially destroyed my life, and has for the past 10 years. She began to become more controlling, of all of us, and her true narcissistic self began to show. She's now tried to kill herself in front of us on at least several occasions, either with knives or jumping out of a window. She regularly cries to manipulate us, malingers fake injuries, and will retreat into her room for hours a day, neglecting her youngest children.
My sisters have never known a life without their parents visibly hating and resenting each other. My brother and I haven't known such a life for 10 years. I began engaging in pornography online from an early age as a means to cope with the suffering I experienced at home, as I became rapidly depressed and have been for the last 10 years.
I believe the trauma that I suffered/continue to suffer, physically, mentally, sexually (at my own hands), completely impacted my executive functions, making it nearly impossible to function on a normal basis. My other siblings will be fine, and they all excell everywhere in life, but I got the short end of the genetic stick. My life is essentially unfixable at this point and there's really no way out beyond CTB. I've destroyed my education, my future, and my chances of having a relationship. The only real way out is going to Germany, where I'm a citizen, but that's impossible by this point.
So yeah, that's why I'm CTB(ing?). It's really an amazing story, a Black MAGA mother and a White Democrat father. It's a tale of how mid-2010s political polarization destroyed my family and led to lifelong trauma, which I have spent thousands on trying to recover from. If I had the attention span I'd write a book on it.
My mother is a Black woman from California, my father is a German man who immigrated in 1997. They were both in their early 30s when they met, and they married in 2002. They had me in 2004. The first 10 years of my life were normal, fine and dandy. I have a brother born in 2006, and two twin sisters born in 2013. Everything changed in 2015 when Donald Trump's campaign began (this post is not intended to be political).
A war began within my home, my father as a liberal democrat began to spar constantly with my mother, who somehow as a Black woman went from a Democrat to a MAGA zealot. After my sisters were born, she dedicated her entire life to MAGA. She began obsessively watching Fox News, OAN, Newsmax, and engaging in online arguments. Every single day, for the entire length of Trump's first term, there were severe, violent, and debilitating arguments. These arguments resulted in police visiting our house on at least two occasions. My mother is now a complete zombie, always with a pair of wireless earbuds in her ears, listening to political slop and drivel. She does nothing but scroll her mindless propaganda, and my father never divorced her because he didn't want to deal with it.
The resulting fallout essentially destroyed my life, and has for the past 10 years. She began to become more controlling, of all of us, and her true narcissistic self began to show. She's now tried to kill herself in front of us on at least several occasions, either with knives or jumping out of a window. She regularly cries to manipulate us, malingers fake injuries, and will retreat into her room for hours a day, neglecting her youngest children.
My sisters have never known a life without their parents visibly hating and resenting each other. My brother and I haven't known such a life for 10 years. I began engaging in pornography online from an early age as a means to cope with the suffering I experienced at home, as I became rapidly depressed and have been for the last 10 years.
I believe the trauma that I suffered/continue to suffer, physically, mentally, sexually (at my own hands), completely impacted my executive functions, making it nearly impossible to function on a normal basis. My other siblings will be fine, and they all excell everywhere in life, but I got the short end of the genetic stick. My life is essentially unfixable at this point and there's really no way out beyond CTB. I've destroyed my education, my future, and my chances of having a relationship. The only real way out is going to Germany, where I'm a citizen, but that's impossible by this point.
So yeah, that's why I'm CTB(ing?). It's really an amazing story, a Black MAGA mother and a White Democrat father. It's a tale of how mid-2010s political polarization destroyed my family and led to lifelong trauma, which I have spent thousands on trying to recover from. If I had the attention span I'd write a book on it.
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