Why I'll never confide thoughts of ctb in person ever again

[ringo99]

This happened about 7 years ago. I confided to a family member that I was feeling suicidal and actually felt a tiny bit better. In two days she showed up where I was living and dragged me to spend an hour on a treadmill everyday for a week. Yep cos mild exercise solves over a decade of deep seated trauma. Somehow this wasn't insulting enough and she consulted an astrologer - of all people - about my feelings IN FRONT OF THE RELATIVES I WAS STAYING WITH AT THAT TIME and blurted out that I was feeling suicidal. I wasn't there for this particular pow-wow.

How did I find out? She recorded the whole thing to play back to me IN FRONT OF THOSE SAME RELATIVES. To say I was mortified beyond imagining would be the understatement of the century. I couldn't even move out since my salary wasn't enough to pay the rent. I had to stay with them for an entire year until I got a pay hike large enough to find a place of my own.

That was it.

That was the moment that every vestige of trust I had placed in her and my faith in the human race shattered into atoms. I didn't bother confronting her. The damage is permanent and I will never consider her or anyone else to be a confidant ever again.

This combined with other reasons is why I will be ctbing by SN next year. I'm so fucking done.

 

[Macrista]

The hardest part is keeping them to yourself. It's painful and makes you feel even lonelier. Fortunately I'd like to CTB very soon so I don't have to live with this misery

 

[exitplease]

I'm so sorry for this degrading breach of trust op. Once my trust and faith in the human race shattered to pieces, it felt like a part of me died. It's all been downhill from there. There's no going back. I feel you.

 

[Kit1]

I have tried to talk to my GP in the past who kept me alive (don't engage with NHS England anymore) and now I try to talk to the clinical psychologist I see. But I will never be able to confide in anyone when I am about to end my life as I will be locked up for it.

 

[FuneralCry]

That is really cruel, I agree that it's best to stay quiet about the topic of suicide, it's horrible how many people are just so insensitive towards those who wish to die.

 

[MeltingBrain]

... IN FRONT OF THE RELATIVES I WAS STAYING WITH AT THAT TIME and blurted out that I was feeling suicidal. I wasn't there for this particular pow-wow.

How did I find out? She recorded the whole thing to play back to me IN FRONT OF THOSE SAME RELATIVES.

Yikes . That's an absolute nightmare. Suicidility is extremely private and confidential . This news can change family dynamics , It can hurt someones chances of getting a partner or finding employment . It makes people change their behavior . This fool has no idea what she has done . I feel so sorry for you

 

[azad]

i feel like normal people, sometimes even parents will panic when you share this and try to push the responsibility to some other people. they don't wanna get caught in trouble when you ctb. they don't really care. they wanna do stuff for on record.
i think most normal won't mind to inflict severe suffering to other beings for a small benefit in life. that's why the world is the way it is now. the amount of evilness, gaslighting and jealousy of normal people is unbelievable.
i thought this is just in india but looks like the whole world is filled with monsters