Why I want to do a thing like that?

[AfterhoursTVU]

My life is not bad, I like the nature, I love my parents, my friends and I really appreciate people, but I think about all of this and I remember about how the world it's a messy thing... I don't feel part of it, I don't want choose life and have to work for the rest of my life in a stupid job to get money, why I have to choose life if I can live? Live for job it's worst than die. Or maybe buy for be and feel part of some stupid group.

All the people I see looks brilliant, I know that they can have beautiful lifes. But I can't see myself in this world, just thinking about having a family, finding a job, working hard to buy a home, or pass the entire life trying to pay it, sounds, for me, a waste of time.

Maybe I'm being immature, but I don't want to follow this wave, the world it's so fast, and I just want to lay down and rest.

I didn't imagine that planning how I will kill myself, it was made me sleep well these days... Lost conscious, stop to think, feel, see or hear, it's like a dream for me, maybe it's the only I have, I want to rest, but not for two hours, one day, one week, one month or one year, I want to rest forever.

Everything I see now and all that I have experienced with people in the past, made me think that this thing it's not for me, I really want to be good, for me, for my parents, but I can't! Every time I tried, the hole that I feel came back and show me how pathetic I am for trying to live, it always shot me down again and again.

I want to stop feel, I want to rest, I want not be me or anything, I don't want to be part of a oppressive machine, these days no one really hurts me, but seeing the state of the world and how I failure in everything I do, how people talk to me with pity... Make me want to do a letter, finding a rope to put in my neck in the right angle, and end with all, with perfect day from Lou Reed in the background, or just end with all with no music, no explications, just me and the rope in a happy relationship.

(Sorry for my bad English, it's not my first language.)

 

[itsgone2]

Many here agree. Life begins to seem pointless when the only thing that matters is work. So many things to pay for. Life has become very difficult. Now, everyone needs to work. For more years than in the past.
So I feel for you. I assume you are young. It's not good when you see the world for how it truly is. Most don't. Just join the rat race and keep moving. Some get lucky I guess. Most don't.
But no easy way to exit. And things seemingly getting worse.
Again, I feel for you. I'm not sure if it's good or bad you see it so young.

 

[Nightfoot]

I read a quote, once, "Find a career you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life." That obviously overstates things a bit, but there's also some truth in it. There will always be days that feel like work, with any job. But it's also possible to find a job or career that you're passionate about or makes even a small amount of difference for others that makes the work worthwhile. Yes, things are getting worse in the world in certain ways, but better in others. One of the problems is that good news doesn't sell, so it tends to not be reported as much. As the old saying goes, "If it bleeds, it leads." Are there things you're passionate about or interested in that corresponds to certain jobs or careers? The way everything seems to revolve around money sucks, but money can also be used to pay for great experiences or things that make you happy and life a bit more bearable.