Story Why I regret going home that one time

[Jormungandr on Coke]

Out of all the times I've tried to ctb, none have ever been successful or near a chance of success, yet at one point in time I had the chance to go without even knowing it.
It was back when I was really hooked on drugs, that day I was on various benzos, oxy and methadone, I was fucked up hard and hadn't even thought about dying, so no SI.
When I got home and went to bed, even with my memories being fuzzy, I remember that much, I woke up in the hospital three days later. They told me I had od'd and when I got better they put me in the psych ward for three day to discern if I tried to kill myself or just got fucked up on drugs. Long story short: I got out, my dad picked me up and told me that, had he not gone to use the facilities at that time of night, he wouldn't have heard my choked breathing and would not have called an ambulance. Why didn't I just stay outside, WHY THE FUCK DID I LET THAT OPPORTUNITY SLIDE


I keep thinking about that a lot, and it fucks me up, I could've been gone forever and not just a few minutes. Fuck, I screwed myself over.

It do be like that, huh?

 

[nopointinlivingg]

There have been a few times in my life where I skirted death while under the influence or putting myself into dangerous situations. Some of them would have been quick exits. So I definitely feel you.

 

[Jormungandr on Coke]

There have been a few times in my life where I skirted death while under the influence or putting myself into dangerous situations. Some of them would have been quick exits. So I definitely feel you.

Fuck man, why is this shit so hard?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

So sorry you didn't succeed! This is such an awful feeling to wake up in a hospital. It's unfortunately so incredibly difficult to leave this world when we have to live in such an anti-suicide society. I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel regretful, I also would had felt disappointed if I knew that I was close to leaving this world yet still I was trapped here.

 

[Jormungandr on Coke]

I understand why you would feel regretful, I also would had felt disappointed if I knew that I was close to leaving this world yet still I was trapped here.

I dream of leaving this world everyday and my method of choice would be by gun, since it carries a sense of finality with it, but germany and their gun laws are just too strict

 

[ShanaRei]

Reminds of the time I nearly bled to death from a bad period. I neglected going to the doctor at first because I was afraid to. Then was given the chance to go. I regret going now wish I had bled to death instead.

 

[CW36]

I dream of leaving this world everyday and my method of choice would be by gun, since it carries a sense of finality with it, but germany and their gun laws are just too strict

Germany trying to make amends for past deeds just like UK, very woke.